[peachdlyte]

I have just filed for custody for my son who is turning two. His father is my X boyfriend I was never married before. He was taking care for him while I was working and helping me with money.. now since I have filed legally for custody he has done a 360 turn around. He wants nothing to do with our son now.. he told me to just find him another father. He has been very mean and cold towards him(my son) Now he tells me he is going for full custody and then once he gets it he is going to give up our son to the state. So neither one of us will end up having him.. He said I'm unfit and not a good mother that I don't deserve my son.. I have no idea what to do anymore.. I am so mad I can't believe what is going on what do I do next.

[TeamSandG]

Just wanted to let you know if the father does get custody he can not give the child to the state without your agreeance in any state. I do not know what state you are in but where I live, the mother has custody as soon as the baby is born, if couple was not married. He is just worried about having to pay child support to you. In any case, it will look very good for you in court that you have kept him in this child's life on a regular basis,letting him have the child while you are working is a very good example of shared parenting time. You should not be so worried provided you are stable and do have the child's best interest at heart.

[Fr_Chuck]

First, he is lying and trying to scare you so he don't have to pay child support.

He can not give the child to the state if he gets custody, since that would require both mother and father to agree on, if he did get custody, which most likely he can not, if he tried that, you can merely sue for custody

And it doeos not matter what he says, can he prove anything in court

Men always threaten and try to scare the women so they won't sue for formal court papers, they don't want to have to pay fair child support for the next 18 years

[LUNAGODDESS]

Man... reading about unfinished business in a relationship and a child stuck in the middle is such an sad event... this pressure keeps all off balance... and that is just what this man the father of your child is trying to do... you have moved on... you have advanced yourself by completing school or attempting to do so and he is stuck... he is also jealous of your achievement you needed him and now you do not.. he will do all that is necessary to place you back in that servitude mode... needing him... he cannot give your son to the state without your permission.. . you gave your son to his father for safe keeping until you finished school... right... now that things are better you need your child around you... watching him grow up hurts... and knowing you had not a thing to do with his early develop meant... it is hurting your heart...

The next few conversation you have with this father of your son... tape it or video tape it... this effort is for your safety and the child... and this information will go well with the courts... in some states taping a conversation on the phone without notifying the other line is illegal... so place the call on speaker and have others present while you are communicating with this man... these individuals will be your witnesses.. make sure none have a serious history that will challenged their witness status... ask your mother's or father's freind(s)... for someone older needs to represent your stand... there is much to say about a mature mind and mouth..

Your future commuication with the father of your baby should show major maturity... you should do all that is necessary for the child...

Men and women who desire to control the other will say almost anything to get them their way... be careful watch after your mouth and your actions... and talk to a lawyer... go to legal aid... if one is available in your town or city... keep calm... from experience a calm head gets you what you need in most cases... just as long as a judge is not bias against single parents... take your time... keep in this child's life... ask for supervised visits... this will empress the courts... show the courts that your interest is for the well being of the child.