[drgneyes]

I haven't had a visitation with my my son in about 3 years. I have always acknowledged him with each birthday, Easter and Christmas too. He is 8 yrs old. I admit I had a small issue with pain pills due to an accident I was in HOWEVER, I never put my son in harms way. I had him everyother weekend if not every weekend for a long time, then when my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend (With whom she is now married to) I tried to work it out and see if things could fixed. She said she needed her space so we parted from our apartment and she continued to let me see my son on weekends and so on. About 3 months in I was in a bad car accident and was given pain pills which did lead to some dependency, but not to the extent she thought.. She continued to let me have my son on the weekends and things went well for the next 3 months. Then she called me and said she wanted him to come home even though it was my weekend and I had until Sunday (She called on a Saturday)I told her no that it was my weekend and she just can't call and say she wants him back and I have to run to her wishes. She said "Yes you do and I'll show you" She came to my house with the police and they made my son return home with her at which he was in tears and didn't want to go. That is where the visitation stopped. I tried to call, write, email when it was my weekends to see if I could take him and she always said no too busy or she just didn't answer! Then she told me that she wanted me to be completely free of all pain pills and that I needed to be 100% healed from car accident before she will let me have him.. She also said get back to me in a month.. I did just that.. then she said 3 months to prove I was done.. I did that.. then it was 6 months and so on... I didn't know what to do, she always says her money will buy her way and that I can try to take her to court but she will win... I admit I was niave and didn't really know what to do...

Then in 2008 I met my fiancé and she informed me I didn't need a lawyer to file for visitation rights.. before it was basically a verbal agreement that I could have him every other, since we were very much together when we went to court after he was born.. I never thought it would end up like this otherwise I would have asked for paper proof of visitation... anyway we filed for visitation and she counter filed with TPR!! What the hell is all I could say! We went to a baseball game of his since I was informed by my father that he was in little league, and she got pissed off that I didn't call to ask to go.. BUT my son was so happy to see me and even asked how come I was gone for so long and if he could stay at my house the next coming weekend... I told him that I was getting things in order.. and that if mom said he could come, I would love to have him.. then my ex came over.. glared at our son... whispered something in his ear.. and boom he wouldn't even look at me!! I'm soooo confused.. my fiancé and I just couldn't believe how one minite he was excited and the next like the lague hit him... we went to the game after we filed...

So trial is coming and just wondering if what do jury's think about TPR? What do you think is going on... is she just trying to play boss?? She always thinks she is right, she has to win at everything, I could tell her the light is red and she would say no it's amber or something like that... not to mention she never had a father in her life, and wants that "American family" Well honestly, I had a great bond with my son... and I honestly feel she fed him lies about me... she told my sister that she told my son I was a
Stanger danger" hmmmmm... opinion time... do you think the jury will take my rights away??

Thanks

[ScottGem]

From what you are saying there was never a court ordered custody/visitation order and that's where you made your mistake. When she came with the police all you had to do was show them the visitation order that stated this was your weekend. The police would not have taken the child away. But since, as I suspect (you did say that it was " it was basically a verbal agreement"), there was no court order, then you messed up.

What you should have done was get an attorney the next day and file in court for visitation.

Your fiancée is both right and wrong. You don't need an attorney to file for visitation, but if the mother is going to have an attorney to represent her you better have one of your own.

Now, on the likelihood of her getting a TPR. There are two main reasons a court will grant a TPR. First to clear the way for an adoption and second if the parent represents a danger to the child. On the first, it generally has to be voluntary. So I suspect her attorney is goiong on the danger to the child. And to do that they will use your addiction to pain killers. I suspect you have not been forthright on the effect they had on you. But if you can show that you are now clean. By the way Family Court is not trial by jury. A judge will make all rulings according to law. And by law the judge is bound to consider the best interests of the child.

Do I think you will get a TPR, no I don't, not based on what you have told us so far. But I don't think you will get visitation, especially unsupervised visitation, if you don't get your own legal representation.

I would suggest that you ask the court to appoint a Guardian Ad Liteum (GAL) for the child. I also suggest you ask the court to have him examined by a court appointed therapist. These are all motions a decent attorney will have filed BEFORE trial. The court will likely want to hear what the child thinks about your relationship and what the mother may have done to poison his mind.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[drgneyes]

My son has a guadian ad leitm, and we had a bonding assessment done at which time my son sat with his head under his coat for 20 minutes not saying anything just nodding. Then he flung off the jacket and said "Forget all this.. I'm done doing it this way.." Then we talked and played some games. But the counslor lady said in her report that my son felt guilty for not letting me talk to him or see him.. I asked the court for a public defender but I make just over the limit. And I do have a drug assement that states I've been clean since 06 and have sought counsel for parent alination syndrom. Why is she telling my family we have a jury trial in 6 weeks? Hmmm...

Thanks much for your answers.

[ScottGem]

I have never heard of a jury for a custody battle. What state are you in? Frankly, if a jury trial was allowed, it would favor you, In my opinion.

I'm a little concerned about the report saying your son felt guilty. Did the counselor talk to him alone?

But if you have been clean for over 2 years. I just can't see her getting an involuntary TPR.

[drgneyes]

I'm in Wisconsin and yes the counselor talked to him alone after the 3 hour session and then talked to the mom alone. But not me