[Swinners]

[F]right, well where do I start! Last October, I started dating a guy, we only went out for a month, but had already been seeing each other long term. When we broke up, it was actually meant to be a break, but we were at a party and he kissed one of my best friends, so I got drunk and upset and slept with his best mate. After that I went out with his best mate and it went really well until 2 months down the line he rang me and told me how much he loved me and needed me back in his life! So me and my boyfriend split up and I started to see this guy again, only he's always on and off with me. Like there's been times where he's told me he loves me, I'm the best thing in his life and if he ever lost me it would actually tear him apart, because he has got problems at home and he talks to me about it, we're not just an item, we're actual best friends! But we had a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago and ever since he's been really off and he kissed one of my mates again of me, ever since then I've felt completely down and cannot seem to pick myself up, I told him I never want to see him again, and he keeps ringing me and completely me about he cannot lose me and that our friendship is good, but he hasn't once said he loves me:( I don't know! I just need to know why, what have I done to make him go off me. And I don't know whether to tell him how I feel, cause I feel lost without him, he is the main thing on my mind, I can't even go out with my own friends without spending the majority of the time thinking about him, I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I'm never happy unless I'm with him and we're on good terms, I just need to know how he feels and how he would take it if I did tell him how I truly feel, someone please please shed some light on the situation!
I get so paranoid that he's situation me, because from an outsiders point of view it does seem that way, but I don't know, I just don't know, anyone whose been throughn something similar please please give me some advice!:(:confused::(

[liz28]

You two for one month last year. He kissed your friend s you slept with his which lead to a relationship for 2 months. Then you left him for your ex but recently he kissed another one of your friend. ::takes deep breathe::

What kind of friends do the two of you? Don't go sleeping with another one of his friends for revenage.

I bet alcohol plays a major role and nobody knows their limits.

This isn't love and if you think it is your wrong. If he loved you he wouldn't be kissing somebody else and you can't change his ways.

Btw, how old are you?

[Gemini54]

I don't know what to say really... what have you done to make him go off you?.

Well, you slept with his best mate for revenge. You then dumped his best mate the moment he called you and told you 'he loved you. You've had a pregnancy scare (clearly someone isn't being careful), and, you've told him you never want to see him again, now you want to know why he doesn't love you.

Hmmm. I think neither of you actually know how to be in a relationship. You both sound needy and lacking in 'emotional intelligence'. He is also, I would suggest, confused by your unpredictable and immature behavior.

If you need to know how he feels, I'd ask him.

But just a word of caution. I wouldn't go professing my 'love' for him if I were you because I'm not sure that what you are feeling is love, it's too needy.

Give yourself a break and detach for a while. Your happiness and well-being is your own responsibility to create not his.

[nikosmom]

[F]right, well where do i start! last october, i started dating a guy, we only went out for a month, but had already been seeing each other long term. when we broke up, it was actually meant to be a break, but we were at a party and he kissed one of my best friends, so i got drunk and upset and slept with his best mate. after that i went out with his best mate and it went really well until 2 months down the line he rang me and told me how much he loved me and needed me back in his life!...
anyone whose been throughn something similar please please give me some advice!:(:confused::(

I only quoted this part of your question because honestly, I stopped reading here. There's nothing about this 'relationship' that speaks LOVE (and I'm using the R word loosely here).

First of all you only went out for a month yet you call it long term? Then he's kissing your friend and you're sleeping with his friend?? How many people are in your town that there's no one else to fool around with other than each others' friends?

This is not a real relationship and I don't see anything about it that's worth salvaging.

Walk away.
And stay away from the 'cohol.

[dreamingartist]

The way someone writes is a big indication to me on how they act and deal with relationships. That's why someone asked how old you are.. you come off as emotionally very young. You could be 30 for all we know, but your relationship skills are that of someone in High school. If, in fact, you are in high school then I'd say.. slow down! Take a breather! You don't need pregnancy scares in H.S. or in college... or period! You don't need to use sex as a tool to teach someone a lesson, especially one of revenge. Without even bringing your relationship into the mix, anyone that uses sex to gain something, or cause hurt basically is saying that sex is NOT that important. When sex isn't important, it becomes a thorn in relationships, sleeping with whoever you want, whenever you want. Breaking up, moving to the next guy, sleeping with him, etc. Guys won't take you seriously if your that easy. They will already have the milk and the cow, so why do they need to buy the farm. If you value yourself more then men will value you more! I have more respect for a girl that says "no" I don't kiss on the first date, or "no" I can't come over to your house alone until we know each other a whole heck of a lot better. The relationship with the X and the BF sounds toxic. You BF will never forget you banged his friend. So expect it to come up at a later point when you fight, or expect him to not trust you at a later point. I would focus on gaining some self respect and self worth through yourself, not through other guys, and definetally don't have sex for any reason except for love and connection, not revenge.