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arminell · Jun 10, 2009, 06:30 PM

I have been going out with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We have everything in common, we are like two peas in a pod. She does everything for me and was even planning to relocate her job to live with me. I definitely love her... Now for the negative part...
I found out one day on a cruise in the bahamas that she called her ex boyfriend... She obviously didn't want me to find that out. She said she was clearing things up because they went out for 5 years and lived together. We were only dating 6 months so I sort of understood. Throughout our relationship she would talk to him but she would tell me they chat only once in a blue moon and I shouldn't feel threatened. Things would happen and I became suspicious. I checked her phone bill and saw that they talked on a weekly basis sometimes more. I didn't say anything though. She would always tell me she hasn't talked to him in awhile etc etc. I found her a few times checking his profile on myspace too... and he has a picture of them up on it.
A few days ago I confronted her about it and asked her, more like pleaded with her to stop. After all we are about to move in together... She wouldn't do it, saying that I was being jealous and crazy for looking at her phone bill. I just felt like crap so I broke up with her. She was a mess crying for 2 days.. then she all of a sudden called me up saying I wasn't worth it and she's better without me and she doesn't give a $@%#$. I think she's just being prideful...
Well, what should I do? Did I do the right thing or maybe she is right? I'm pretty sure I could get her back if I tried hard enough but do I even want to?? Why the hell didn't she just stop talking to him for me? Any help would be greatly appreciated, thanks...

I wish · Jun 10, 2009, 06:40 PM

You did the right thing. She lied. The trust is broken. She's still confused about her feelings for her ex, otherwise she wouldn't keep talking to him or looking at his myspace.

You're better off without her.

liz28 · Jun 10, 2009, 07:05 PM

You caught her in her's lies and she didn't like that. So of course she is going try to make you feel bad and make everything out to be your fault. All liars do!

Her pride isn't hurt she is just mad you caught her in her game. I guess she thought you was stupid.

You did nothing wrong here and you did want most people don't--follow and listen to your instincts.

Your so better off without her and it is best this happen now than later.

Don't call, text, or email her. And don't accept any forms of comunication from her. Move on with your life because you will find better.

nikosmom · Jun 10, 2009, 07:16 PM

Just be grateful that you found out before you moved in with her. At least this way it can be a clean break without having legal issues (lease, rent, etc) tangled up.

Sure, you were wrong for checking her phone bill. But you have to trust your gut and your gut told you something was going on. If there was 'nothing' to it, she could've been honest with you.

Then there's the fact that she seems to have to regards for your feelings. She's doing what she wants to not caring if it'd hurt you or not.

I know it's tough, but pick up the pieces and start the healing process. Best to go No-Contact so don't call, text, email, tweet, or whatever people do to keep up with each other these days. And stop checking her myspace page- you're only torturing yourself.

mericherry818 · Jun 10, 2009, 07:27 PM

I think you did great!! You followed your gut felling!! Dnt take her back she is surely not over her ex and your just playing the rebound role and I don't think you deserve that at all!! N don't feel bad about the way she is acting...
She is just doing it so she can seem as a victom because she got caught its something the most cheaters and liars dooo!! Go out have fun sure enough you will find the right one just have faith and patients!!

Syzygy · Jun 10, 2009, 08:10 PM

If you do take her back, you will find yourself unable to trust her again. You will probably find yourself unsteady and constantly questioning.

Do you want that? Leave her and don't look back.

Romefalls19 · Jun 11, 2009, 06:33 AM

Trust broken, relationship broken. End of story

xadmin · Jun 11, 2009, 06:45 AM

If you take her back, she will continue to talk to her EX and she will even be more secretive about it with you. She will know that you will snoop on her cellphone bill and she won't trust you anymore. I say it's better to have some fun with her or break it off. Don't commit yourself to her.

88sunflower · Jun 11, 2009, 06:55 AM

Everyone is right. If you get back with her will you totally trust her? Will she trust you for snooping? It's a tough call but I would say leave her for her ex and move on. She shouldn't have started to date again if she wasn't over him quite yet. If they are talking that much then they aren't over each other. Plus he has pictures of them up? Fishy sounding.

arminell · Jun 11, 2009, 09:11 AM

I definitely think everyone is right. She keeps promising me that she will not speak to him again and to just give her another chance She said she just felt I was being controlling asking her not to talk to him again. That she went through a controlling relationship years ago and is sensitive because of that.
I don't know, she is probably just full of crap, either way I guess it doesn't matter because I just don't trust her anymore. I mean once trust is gone its gone for good right?
I figure I have 3 options. I could just make a clean break for it, go back out with her, or the other option would be to give her that chance she wanted but to go on some dates with other women, you know not sleep around or anything. I could see if she is for real at the same time it would let me see how I really feel about her too. I Definitely won't be taking option 2, no way...

spitvenom · Jun 11, 2009, 09:17 AM

Just make a clean break. Like everyone said the trust is broken. I don't know about but if I took her back it would always be in the back of my mind if she is still talking to him. I wouldn't be able to live like that.

88sunflower · Jun 11, 2009, 11:03 AM

She said it was controlling? What the freak does that mean? Your asking her to stop talking to her ex while she is dating you and that's controlling? Wow, I call it more having respect for your new boyfriend, or trust or whatever but not controlling.

real soldier · Jun 11, 2009, 11:11 AM

Look mate, don't take this offensive but you should never ever plead to a girl, she will feel like she has all the controla and power, which means she could go off you or back off from you, so that's your first mistake, your 2nd mistake is you should never get back with a female who treats you like that especially one that tells you she don't give a sh** about you, forget her man, your to good for her but remember, don't cling onto a female and plead man, or she could just walk all over you.

talaniman · Jun 12, 2009, 09:44 AM

Better to be alone, and free, than be a suspicious fool! Lying is a deal breaker in my book.

arminell · Jun 12, 2009, 11:57 AM

Thanks for the help everyone, I decided not to give her another chance. I Figure even if she was telling the truth, she has to have some serious self esteme issues that would cause a lot of other problems in the future. Plus sometimes its fun being single, Thanks again!

xadmin · Jun 12, 2009, 01:14 PM

Nice, you did the right thing