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crazycrissy · Jun 10, 2009, 07:45 AM

:confused: Well, I have been with my man for 11 years. I want to let go but, its hard we have been together so long. He don't work he barley helps me around the house. The only time he does help is when he knows its pay day for me. He was never like this he use to help all the time and WORKED!! I don't know what to do. I want to let go but, its going to hurt so much cause I do love him and we have two wonderful boys together! Help Me please! :confused:

Jake2008 · Jun 10, 2009, 07:52 AM

Crissy, why is he not working, and how long has it been since he's not worked.

A little more information would be helpful in offering some advice.

88sunflower · Jun 10, 2009, 07:54 AM

Yes I agree. Fill us in more on your story.
Have you mentioned this to him?

scott_1976 · Jun 10, 2009, 07:54 AM

Little more info... do you want to leave because he does not help you with the house work? Have you talked to him about this?

jlb1197 · Jun 10, 2009, 07:56 AM

Talk to him about it, if it does not change hit the road. He will have to work then because child support is not cheap. You do not need this you already have two boys to take care of you do not need another. 11 years is a long time, and you might have wonderful memories but it sounds like the next 11 years will be hell if he doesn't change.

I wish · Jun 10, 2009, 08:12 AM

We definitely need more information. Have you confronted him about your concerns? You guys have been together for 11 years, you must have a strong communication system by now.

charliepea2005 · Jun 10, 2009, 08:19 AM

Hello So confused, I can understand why your so confused. You were a teenager when you started seeing your man and are 26 years old now. That is a long time for any teenager to have commitments at such a young age. You also have left out the specifics of what is really going on? You say your man used to help around the home and worked. It is evident that You both are caught up in a slump. Why is your man not working? Are y'all married, is he on drugs? I could go on and on, but my intentions is not to belittle nor to judge. It is merely to bring to your attention that as before mentioned you left out the specifics. You say y'all have 2 boys. You need to let him know to man up to his responsibilities and help with the support financially and physically. If you have not finished school try to find community resources that will help you to help yourself and your boys. Please do this! So confused do not be afraid to take a stand for what you want. That is why you are crying out, you are tired of the slump that you and your man is in. Both of you need to get some guidance in your lives, remember you both are mommy and daddy to your boys. I wish you yhe best of luck in your endeavor and pray that you take heed to at least some of the things I've said and suggested.

charliepea2005

Justwantfair · Jun 10, 2009, 08:22 AM

Depression could also be a factor to this equation, no work, not helping, poor economy...

charliepea2005 · Jun 11, 2009, 05:49 AM

Your right about The depression, being out of work is enough to be depressed. And of course there is the fact that the economy is at a one ytime low for everyone. The Maine thing is that crazycrissy is not fully telling or giving all information. Whatever the reason this is going on for her and her man, I say seek help if not for each other then for their children.

321543 · Jun 24, 2009, 07:49 AM

Every married story has two sides of the tale. At times we must look past our role, our wants and ask ourselves other important questions. Like , How is our Spouse as a parent, what would make them better ? Why am I really contemplating a break up ? vs. the Lives of my children and is it worth it ?

These are not answers, just things to help you think things through. There are never any easy answers. Remember when we were kids and wished for a Bike and Mom or dad may not have been able to get it and we were broken hearted because it was the most important thing ( at that time ) in the world .
Things having a way of working out if we want them too and put effort into them . Life is forever changing .
Love conquers all , and if you are having second thoughts then it's time to grow up for the first time in your life be a strong woman and teach your husband to become a man for what he is and help him onto the road of recover(from what ever it is he is suffering from ). If not for you , your children sake.

Remember their fates also hang in the balance when you make decisions, How well you make those decisions will determine all of your future here
As well as the Next Kingdom ( if you believe in an after life ).