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    Sadgirl20's Avatar
    Sadgirl20 Posts: 15, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    May 7, 2009, 08:39 AM
    Long distance cheating?
    Threads merged and edited to prevent confusion

    Im in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend goes out a lot with his friends to bars and clubs and stuff. What can I do to deal with this and not become upset and jealous thinking about what he's out doing? How to act normal when he calls when he comes home and not blow the whole issue out of proportion..? I don't want to cause tension between us for no reason. It's hard being so far away.

    My friend linked me to some photos of my boyfriend on Facebook with him at his birthday party, drinking, hugging girls (his friends from school)and taking pics with them all over his lap and stuff. I didn't talk to him about it yet, and he doesn't know that I know about the pics. Maybe it's harmless? I don't want to make a big deal about nothing... the long distance is already hard as it is. It definitely makes me a little uneasy, even though I trust that he won't cheat on me... but then again... you can never know a person totally. What do you guys think?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #2

    May 7, 2009, 08:41 AM

    Why don't you go out with your girls and have some fun?

    You have to have a life of your own instead of constantly worrying about him.

    Long distance relationships are mostly about trust. How well do you trust him?
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #3

    May 7, 2009, 08:41 AM

    Find things to do of your own on the night that he will be having a guys night.

    That is the easiest and best way to help distract yourself.

    Go with a sister to the movies, a friend to a club, stop and visit your parents, go with a co-worker out to dinner... anything to not be sitting by the phone and waiting.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #4

    May 7, 2009, 08:45 AM

    Seems like you base way too much of your life around what he is doing. What do you do for fun? (Besides sit and wait for him to call you). Go live life girl!
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #5

    May 7, 2009, 08:50 AM

    Maybe this can help

    Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    May 7, 2009, 08:57 AM
    This may help,

    Long Distance Relationship Advice | The Frisky

    The bottom line is being happy with yourself, and the things, and people you enjoy.
    mommyoftwins200's Avatar
    mommyoftwins200 Posts: 62, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    May 7, 2009, 10:44 AM

    O boy does this bring back vivid memories. I was with my twins father for 3 years and while he turned 21 I was only 18 so I was not able to go out with him. It bothered me so much when he would go out that I would actually go to the bar that he was at and sit in the parking lot but would never let him see me. I didn't trust him at all since he lied to me multiple times, why I stayed with him I don't really know LOVE IS BLIND. Something must of happened for you not to trust him, and if it is your first instinct that he is doing something wrong you are probably right well I was anyway. Do not put yourself through all the stress that I did.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #8

    Jun 1, 2009, 07:51 PM

    If it look harmless then it is. If he posted pictures on a social website why would he get upset if you look at it? If that is the case he shouldn't have posted it for any and everybody to see.

    So if he gets upset over this then something is up.

    Btw, was this your boyfriend or friend birthday party? Why wasn't you there? Also, does this friend like you because he might have a hidden agenda behind showing you these photos.
    Sadgirl20's Avatar
    Sadgirl20 Posts: 15, Reputation: 3
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    #9

    Jun 1, 2009, 07:54 PM

    He didn't post them up... he was tagged in the pics
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #10

    Jun 1, 2009, 07:56 PM

    What does tagged into the photos mean?
    Sadgirl20's Avatar
    Sadgirl20 Posts: 15, Reputation: 3
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    #11

    Jun 1, 2009, 07:59 PM

    He didn't post them up himself. His friends posted the pics, I don't think my boyfriend even knows they're on Facebook
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #12

    Jun 1, 2009, 08:07 PM

    It doesn't matter who posted it because the fact remains that any and everyone could see them.

    So call him up and see his reaction. Say "hey I saw the photos from the party".
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Jun 1, 2009, 08:17 PM

    I think your still stinging from the last relationship, and have carried the baggage from that one to this relationship.
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ak-212578.html

    I don't think your very ready at this time, for a relationship, let alone a long distance one, but I can only caution you to stop making him pay for the mistakes, and hurt that an ex has inflicted on you.

    That's a disaster waiting to happen.
    snow124's Avatar
    snow124 Posts: 116, Reputation: 28
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    #14

    Jun 2, 2009, 04:56 AM
    On social networking sites, when someone uploads a photo, you can tag people in it. In doing so, when you're on their profile and you go to view their pictures, anything they are tagged in will show up too.

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