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ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 1, 2009, 01:32 PM

Hi there,

This is a weird issue. SO a friend of mine moved in with her boyfriend after dating for a month. It's 2 months later, and she suspects that he is cheating on her and wants to move out. Her issue? She moved out of state to be with him. She has no money and no one to help her. No one else has the money to send to her to get her back home. Where is she going to live if she leaves? She doesn't want to resort to a homeless shelter, but that might be the case.

She's afraid that even if she can get the money for an apartment that no one will approve her credit (which he destroyed).

What advice can you give me to give to her?

I don't know what to tell her, and people here are always really good about these things.

tickle · Jun 1, 2009, 01:37 PM

Hi, chi, yes very touchy situation, I truly believe she should move out to a shelter with all she can take while she explores and thinks about her options. While she is staying there, they will assist her with finding some kind of employment, whereby she can save enough to get back home. Or, if she wants to find employment on her own, at least she will have somewhere to go back to at end the of day. Secondly, and not the least, she will have meals there too.

I hope this helps, I truly feel for her being in this type of situation.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 1, 2009, 01:41 PM

She has a job, but not enough money for an apartment, and the fact that she fears she won't be eligible for an apartment with her credit.

I was suggesting the shelter, but she thinks its beneath her.

tickle · Jun 1, 2009, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

I was suggesting the shelter, but she thinks its beneath her.

It may very well be, but you know what they say, 'pride commeth before a fall' and if she wants to get away from him, it is a good option. She could visit the local shelter and see what is like, she may see some down and out women who have been abused and need to talk and socialize. I would go for just that reason, if I could help them at all. Sorry, wandering in my thinking but that's the way I am, help on a physical level. The older we get the more we realize that sometimes the best way to fight is to fight back. Women empowering women. (soapbox).

I see you have thought of that option too, but finally, it is up to her, sorry.

Best always

Tick

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 1, 2009, 01:59 PM

I know, and its frustrating because she will stay and put up with his garbage until the very end. Likely until he hits her or leaves her for someone else.

tickle · Jun 1, 2009, 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

she will stay and put up with his garbage until the very end. Likely til he hits her or leaves her for someone else.

She won't have any pride left if she does that, stay I mean until he makes herfeel as little as possible and as you describe in your OP, he seems to be the kind that would do that to her. He has no respect for women.

liz28 · Jun 1, 2009, 02:16 PM

If she can't stay with relatives or friends and can't afford a place (due to her credit) then she has two options:
1) Stay and deal with his crap
Or
2) Go to a shelter.

She might can try to get a place directly from an ower instead of going through a realtor if her credit is only an issues. My friend did this and now has a place to stay.

Now I learnt in the past never to get too involved with friends and their problems. She might be waiting for you to offer her to stay with you. But you can only give her options and the rest is up to her. Even if it includes her swallowing her pride.