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kwcjr · May 11, 2009, 03:19 PM

Ok hear is my situation. I am separated from my wife for about 8 years ( I know that I should have gotten divorced a WHILE ago). I have already won Temporary residential custody of my child who is now 8 years of age. I never asked her for child support for the 8 years I have had custody of the child, granted that she kept up with her visitation and provided medical insurance for him. Well I recently desided to sue her for child support because she she fails to see her child, and doesn't call him. She will usually call or ask to see him on holidays if that. She didn't even call him last August for his birthday. She has only provided Health Insurance for him for like 6 month of his life, so I pay for his doctor bills out of my pocket if he has to see the doctor. Which are $85 a visit now. Needless to say I won the case in court for the child support.
My Ex likes to talk bad about me to my Son when she does talk to him. I don't know if it is because she is jealous of the life that I have had with my kid or what, but I don't think that that is fair for the child to hear these things about me when they aren't true. She talk's really nasty to me when and IF I allow her to even speak to me ( I choose to not talk to her) I recently found out that she told my child that she will speak to me that way until I learn to grow up. Now, in my opinion how am I the one that needs to grow up? That just doesn't make sense to me.
This leads to my question. Is this a liable reason to sue my Ex when we go for a divorce (which was the main reason I filed for child support) for Mental Child Abuse or degrading my character in front of my child. Usually after he talks to her his whole attitude will change. He gets nasty, and even has had problems in school because she is never around. I have worked very hard with the school that he goes to now to turn his grades from f's and d's and cursing and acting like a bully in school, into a well behaved polite straight A student.

JudyKayTee · May 11, 2009, 03:54 PM

No, you cannot incorporate a lwsuit for ANYTHING into an action for divorce - you can certainly cite any behavior you can prove as grounds for your divorce but you cannot sue her for divorce AND sue her for comments she has made about you.

Also - suing for support because she doesn't visit will not go over well with the Court. She either should support or child or not. The other issues have nothing to do with that and you will look vengeful.

Perhaps the 3 of you need to go into counselling - she because for whatever reason she can't let go; you, because she is still able to push your buttons; the child because he is caught in the middle.

kwcjr · May 11, 2009, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

No, you cannot incorporate a lwsuit for ANYTHING into an action for divorce - you can certainly cite any behavior you can prove as grounds for your divorce but you cannot sue her for divorce AND sue her for comments she has made about you.

Also - suing for support because she doesn't visit will not go over well with the Court. She either should support or child or not. The other issues have nothing to do with that and you will look vengeful.

Perhaps the 3 of you need to go into counselling - she because for whatever reason she can't let go; you, because she is still able to push your buttons; the child because he is caught in the middle.

Well thank you for the answer, But I have already won the lawsuit for child support. I HAD to file for child support to follow through with filing for a divorce.
As far as counseling goes. Me - I don't need it. I don't even think of her anymore. I have already moved on and have has a steady woman for over 3 years now. My son has already met her and really likes her. There is no way that I would EVER get back with her. So I see no reason for counseling for my behalf. As for her- If she feels the need to have counseling to get over her past and me then that is on her. My basic concern is my Son and the way he views me. And for her to bad mouth me to him is what gets to me. Her personally I don't care what she does. Like I said I haven't been with her for 8 years and have already moved on.

Thank you for your input

JudyKayTee · May 11, 2009, 05:10 PM

No problem - but as long as she is still able to push your buttons, I personally think you need to talk to somebody. I'm divorced. My husband could set himself on fire and I would react. I don't care what he says to anybody.

But, of course, you know what your child is going through far better than I do. If he can deal - and I didn't think he could - with the name calling and insults against you, so be it.

kwcjr · May 12, 2009, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

No problem - but as long as she is still able to push your buttons, I personally think you need to talk to somebody. I'm divorced. My husband could set himself on fire and I would react. I don't care what he says to anybody.

But, of course, you know what your child is going through far better than I do. If he can deal - and I didn't think he could - with the name calling and insults against you, so be it.

If my ex set herself on fire - I would celebrate!