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MyBffLovesMe · May 6, 2009, 09:05 AM

Can my best friend ,who is 19, adopt me? She lives in Louisiana and I live in Oklahoma and I can deal with my home life so she really wants to adopt me but my mother won't give me up! How do I go about this?

Silverfoxkit · May 6, 2009, 09:12 AM

How old are you?

MyBffLovesMe · May 6, 2009, 09:21 AM

I'm almost 16. I wll be 16 this June.

shazamataz · May 6, 2009, 09:21 AM

Not unless both parents consent or they are deemed to be unfit carers.

MyBffLovesMe · May 6, 2009, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by Silverfoxkit

How old are you?

I'm almost 16.

MyBffLovesMe · May 6, 2009, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by shazamataz

Not unless both parents consent or they are deemed to be unfit carers.

My mom should be but I'm to scared to tell anyone that she is a drug addict. My dad has been Deemed as unfit for 18years. (since before I was born). He is a bad person and so is my mother.

shazamataz · May 6, 2009, 09:26 AM

Your only option would be to contact child services in your area.
If what you say is true then it may be possible, usually they prefer another family member foster you though.

MyBffLovesMe · May 6, 2009, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by shazamataz

Your only option would be to contact child services in your area.
If what you say is true then it may be possible, usually they prefer another family member foster you though.

Other family isn'y an option. I will wind up back with my mother. My little brother is also in this. I can't just leave him he is all I got.

shazamataz · May 6, 2009, 09:31 AM

Wait for some more suggestions from the experts but in my opinion you need to contact someone to find out your standings.
Does your friend have a steady job and held it for a long time.
Does she make enough money to be able to pay for your food, schooling etc.
Does she have her own permanent residence?

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation and I hope you can work something out.

MyBffLovesMe · May 6, 2009, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by shazamataz

Wait for some more suggestions from the experts but in my opinion you need to contact someone to find out your standings.
Does your friend have a steady job and held it for a long time.
Does she make enough money to be able to pay for your food, schooling etc.
Does she have her own permanent residence?

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation and I hope you can work something out.

She is in school at the moment this is her last year of JR college. She has had the same job since she was 17. She has a house but she isn't sure if that's were she'll stay. I would go to school I would be home schooled (it's a big thing in her family, to keep the chirstian values in line). But other then that she can take care of me. She knows me better then anyone.

Synnen · May 6, 2009, 03:45 PM

If you will not testify against your mother as a drug user, this will not happen.

Period.

You have 2 options:

1. Get your mother to voluntarily relinquish rights

2. PROVE that your mother is an unfit parent.

If you can do neither, then you are stuck.

MyBffLovesMe · May 6, 2009, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by Synnen

If you will not testify against your mother as a drug user, this will not happen.

Period.

You have 2 options:

1. Get your mother to voluntarily relinquish rights

2. PROVE that your mother is an unfit parent.

If you can do neither, then you are stuck.

Ok well thank you!

Silverfoxkit · May 6, 2009, 08:26 PM

You've made it through 16 years, it is probably for the best to try and bear it for 2 more unless if you are in danger. That may seem like a long time to you but in the overall picture its nothing. Finish school and once you are 18 then you can move wherever you like.

You do have a chance of getting yourself out of the situation if it is intense and you can prove it but you are in no way guaranteed to go to your friend or anyone you know for that matter. You may end up in a foster home on the other side of the country. You need to be aware of that.

Blondy24 · May 7, 2009, 12:42 AM

Your mother doesn't want to give you up because she loves you, she brought you into this world and you should be gratefull for that and not leave her. By the way, I don't think a 19 year old can adopt you, that's a bit too young, unless she is married and have a good home and a proper job.

Synnen · May 7, 2009, 05:39 AM

Originally Posted by Blondy24

Your mother doesn't want to give you up because she loves you, she brought you into this world and you should be gratefull for that and not leave her. By the way, I don't think a 19 year old can adopt you, that's a bit too young, unless she is married and have a good home and a proper job.

This is yet another misconception about adoption.

You don't choose adoption because you don't love your child. Just because her mother loves her has NOTHING to do with letting her be adopted by someone else. Although I'm sure that plays a major part in it, you've got the wrong idea about adoption.

People who choose adoption do so BECAUSE they love their child.

Blondy24 · May 7, 2009, 06:33 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

This is yet another misconception about adoption.

You don't choose adoption because you don't love your child. Just because her mother loves her has NOTHING to do with letting her be adopted by someone else. Although I'm sure that plays a major part in it, you've got the wrong idea about adoption.

People who choose adoption do so BECAUSE they love their child.

In her question she said that her mother DOES NOT WANT TO GIVE HER UP, that means her mother does not want to giver her up for adoption. Read the question please.

ScottGem · May 7, 2009, 06:36 AM

Originally Posted by Blondy24

In her question she said that her mother DOES NOT WANT TO GIVE HER UP, that means her mother does not want to giver her up for adoption. Read the question please.

So? Do you think the only reason a person would not want to give up a child for adoption is because they love the child? Maybe the mother gets some support or public stipend for the child that they don't want to give up. Maybe she likes having the child around to help with housework. There could be other reasons, that don't involve loving the child.

MyBffLovesMe · May 7, 2009, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

So? Do you think the only reason a person would not want to give up a child for adoption is because they love the child? Maybe the mother gets some support or public stipend for the child that they don't want to give up. Maybe she likes having the child around to help with housework. There could be other reasons, that don't involve loving the child.

Ok! Gosh! People My mother won't give me up because then she wouldn't have anyone to watch my brother and she believes she can do it on her own. If I have learned in thing in all my 16 years it's that, it's hard being a single mother of three and the dad's aren't anything good. My mother can be a really good person and I love her but it's getting to be too much for her. I am going to BTW next fall and she has already gotten in to the thing of how will she get me to and from school. My older brother is 18 and works nights and goes to school during the day. My little brother is home schooled and my mother has to work 3 jobs to take care of us. I hate seeing her stress like this I think if I'm gone and she can see me a few times a week (anytime) then it would be a little better. My mother has been there EVERYDAY of my short lived life and I know she will still be there even if I get adopted because she does love me! My best friend can adopt me we have talked to a social worker about it. My BFF was also adopted as a baby. :( THis is a really hard subject!