[MatrixGypsy]

As brief as possible... but some background info is necessary to understand the full case.. I live in Roswell, GA (a suburb of Atlanta).

My now 5 yr. old son and 8 yr. old daughter have been in/out of both my and my ex-husband's custody since we separated. When he left (10/04) he happily left them in my care until I refused to accept his minimal offer for child support. He then won sole custody (08/05) and I was granted visitation the 1st. 3rd &. 5th weekend of every month. He moved 17 miles away from where we were living and it made my commute impossible,

I kept fighting Pro se and one year later (08/06) I was granted my Motion For New Trial, which of course reversed the children back into my custody.

So my ex-kidnapped the kids and moved them to TX, On a Motion for Emergency Hearing the Judge ordered them back into my custody until the pending trial, with court supervised visitation for him. In one of our court visits, in discussing where my ex will live he told her he would move back to GA,

The Judge then VERBALLY told him that because I lived in the same town for 7 yrs. He is not to move away and that he is to stay in the Roswell area. He then moved into Alpharetta, the city neighboring Roswell. Though it wasn't Roswell, I let it go because my office was only about 7 miles away; it was still close enough.

We had our final trial Feb. '07 and the Judge granted us joint custody in all ways. I technically get them one more day a year than he gets them (due to Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur). We each get them for a full week and Friday is the switch off day. I drop them off at school and he picks them up; the following week it is reversed. During the summer and holidays, it is the responsibility of the parent regaining custody for the week to go to the other parent's place to pick up the children, We each get them for 2 consecutive weeks in the summer, he got to choose which 2 weeks first this year, I get to choose first the even years. All other holidays alternate & reverse from yr. to yr. I get final say over medical, he gets final say over education. We have joint legal and residential custody.

However, because he gets them for the full week every other week, the judge cut my child support in half. YET, she ordered me to pay for half of everything from extraneous medical bills to a mediator when we don't agree.

He is also remarrying on May 16th, but I am yet to meet his girlfriend and I have the right to know who my children are residing with.

1) She ordered me to choose medical but he changed insurance without consulting me thereby taking away all my decisions because what he chose gave me no choice in doctors. He could have stayed with his old insurance but changed it without regards to what I had to say. Then took more than 9 months to give me their insurance cards. And I still have no say. My daughter needs care but her primary won't order it and I can't do anything.

2) I am a school bus driver. My children ride the bus with me to/from school, so I don't need any kind of day care but even though I only made $17 grand a year and he made $65 grand a year she ordered me to may for ALL regular use daycare and after-school care.

3) He has now moved to Dahlonega, GA, It is 50 and a half miles from my street to his. My car is in no condition to drive more than 100 miles to and from his new residence to pick up our children every other Friday. Not to mention the time it would take in rush hour traffic (about 2 hours in one direction on a Friday... everyone is heading in that direction out of the city). He gave me no advanced notice of the move or intention to remarry (my 8 yr. old told me). Only in threatening legal action would he even give me his new address. He will not tell me his girlfriend's name or provide it so I could put it on my son's Kindergarten registration.

He has moved into a 3 bedroom house. He and his girlfriend are in one bedroom, her mother is in one and he is forcing our children to share a room (and my daughter has already entered into early puberty). According to my daughter, when his girlfriend's 3 children come to visit, they sleep in the living room.

None of this is healthy for my children. Forcing my children to commute 41 miles (82 R/T)) to get to school each day (compared to the 3 mi.. They used to) is too much for anyone; not to mention the living conditions.

I don't know how to proceed: I told him on my Fridays he needs to bring the kids to see me since he opted to go against the Judge's verbal instruction and moved away, he refused saying that if we can't agree we need to see a mediator, which after paying for daycare all year, I can't afford. School is out in 3 weeks. I need to do something.

I know there is a law that requires him to give me 60 days notice of his intention to move. He never told me. I found out after the fact. I am also sure there is a GA law about him moving 50 miles away but I don't know what it is, nor do I know if my children are allowed to still share a room at their ages.

Any direction or code you can point me to in those?

SO what papers do I files? Do I try and regain sole residential custody of my children?

Motion for EMERGENCY HEARING?
Motion for MODIFICATION OF Child Custody?
Motion for MODIFICATION OF Child Support?
Motion to Compel?

Something other than a MOTION?


I am intelligent and can figure out how to file what I need to file, I've done Pro se so long, I can handle it. I just don't know WHAT to file?

Can you please advise me on WHAT to file? Also any code for shortcuts due to time restrictions would be appreciated. It's been 2 yrs. Since I've looked at this stuff and I am (not being an attorney) rusty.


Thank you kindly for any and all assistance.

[ScottGem]

You apply for a modification of custody and contempt of court for violating the order against moving too far. Clearly moving 50 miles away makes the visitation/custody order in place, unworkable.

Assuming you can win primary physical custody, then the support should also be modified.

[MatrixGypsy]

You apply for a modification of custody and contempt of court for violating the order against moving too far. Clearly moving 50 miles away makes the visitation/custody order in place, unworkable.

Assuming you can win primary physical custody, then the support should also be modified.

Scott,

Thank you kindly for the expedient response.

Would I file the support modification at the same time, or just have it prepared to be filed at the hearing, which would then require another hearing if I file them after? And would I do this attached to a Motion for an Emergency Hearing, since school is out in 3 weeks which would require me to pick them up in 4 (the end of his week), or just let it ride until they could fit us in the calendar?


Can I file Contempt, even though it was verbal and not written in the final order? This has baffled me... she WAS very clear verbally that he was to stay close by, but didn't put it in writing. I wasn't sure if that mattered.

May you be blessed 10 x's over for your assistance.

I know good legal advice is worth it's weight in gold. Having been ripped off by 3 attorneys to where I had to do it Pro se (and did OK), I still believe a GOOD attorney (yes I know they exist but are out of my budget) are worth their weight in platinum.

[MatrixGypsy]

You apply for a modification of custody and contempt of court for violating the order against moving too far. Clearly moving 50 miles away makes the visitation/custody order in place, unworkable.

Assuming you can win primary physical custody, then the support should also be modified.

Scott,

Additionally, which of those issues do I mention in my Affidavit and Motion? His girlfriend? Sleeping arrangements? Changing insurance I am sure would go in Contempt... but what about my other concerns? DO I have the right to know who my children are residing with as custodial parent?

With much gratitude...

[ScottGem]

You have joint custody based on alternate weeks. Moving 50 miles away obviously changes the ability to continue that. So that puts him in contempt. If you get the same judge you can remind them of the verbal order. Or mention it to the new judge.

I would not say anything about not meeting the girlfriend, but the sleeping arrangements could be mentioned as part of your request for custody modification. I'm not sure how you would apply for support modification. Obviously any modification of custody should result in modification for support. I would just mention it as part of the custody modification. Family courts tend to be less formal.

[MatrixGypsy]

You apply for a modification of custody and contempt of court for violating the order against moving too far. Clearly moving 50 miles away makes the visitation/custody order in place, unworkable.

Assuming you can win primary physical custody, then the support should also be modified.

Scott,

One more point to mention... this judge was prejudiced against me before she met me and even though he is constantly in contempt, almost always sided with him (how does a man who kidnaps his kids get joint custody?). Unfortunately she hates me and here in GA as long as she is on the bench we are assigned back to the same judge (I did try to get a recusal unsuccessfully) (I miss NJ!), WHICH IS WHY I need to file these papers correctly. I have one a battle or two, but still things linger...

Gratzie...

[ScottGem]

I did kind of wonder about getting joint custody after a kidnapping.

Have you spoken to the chief judge?

[MatrixGypsy]

I tried to talk to her the day the Order on my Motion For New Trial came in. I was trying to understand the ramifications of the Order (I wasn't sure if they were supposed to return to me or not, not having an attorney), but the only thing anyone would say to me in the courthouse was that if I wanted to talk to a new Judge, I needed to get the old one off the case.

So I filed a recusal, but here in GA the Judge on the case decides on their own if they are guilty of what you accuse... so... now they hate you even more. If they don't recuse themselves, you can file an appeal on their decision, but appellate law was much too complicated for me to figure out while still trying to make it through the trial.

I am still trying to figure out how he got joint custody even after kidnapping his kids, and how I have to pay for ALL daycare/after-school care that I don't use even though I make 1/5th of what he does. AND I have a 17 yr, old daughter from my 1st husband I am responsible for also. I can understand half the child support if he had to pay for half of everything, but it isn't written that way.

This judge hates most women. I know 5 other moms that lost custody to to her as I did. She was shot by her lesbian lover in her parking lot 3 yrs before we got to court, so the best that I can surmise is that she sees all women as perpetrators. As best as I can see, she is trying to fit into the "good 'ole boyz network' down here, not easy to do as a lesbian in a republican state.

As I mentioned before, I miss NJ. (and NY... I'm a Brooklyn girl to start). I see you are in LI. Still have great concerts at Jones Beach, Nassau Coliseum and Westbury Music Fair?

Thank you for your help, by the way. I do OK, but as I said before, I am rusty and I want to do this right so the Judge can't shake a finger...

[cdad]

Im going to have to pipe in here and say I disagree with what's being said.

As of right now I wouldn't file anything unless there is a true emergency. You need to make an appointment with a mediator and make it quick. Also never rely on a judges memory of what's said during a trial.. get a transcript. That way you have it in writing. The reason for doing the mediation thing is to keep you from court and if he refuses then you showed you have tried. That's why the judge ordered it before. The mediator can make recommendations. If he refuses then you have something to take to court to re-enforce what your saying and what's going on. Also if your having conduct problems if you do go to court over things or even in mediation request that they be put into writing and also if through the courts they become court orders.

[MatrixGypsy]

Im going to have to pipe in here and say I disagree with whats being said.

As of right now I wouldnt file anything unless there is a true emergency. You need to make an appointment with a mediator and make it quick. Also never rely on a judges memory of whats said during a trial .. get a transcript. That way you have it in writing. The reason for doing the mediation thing is to keep you from court and if he refuses then you showed you have tried. Thats why the judge ordered it before. The mediator can make recomendations. If he refuses then you have something to take to court to re-enforce what your saying and whats going on. Also if your having conduct problems if you do go to court over things or even in mediation request that they be put into writing and also if through the courts they become court orders.

Well, whereas I thank you for your time to respond and I do appreciate your thoughts, my instincts are to go with what Scott is advising. Firstly, my judge knows my case EXTREMELY well. No, she won't recall everything, but she knows most. Additionally, I don't know what part of I CAN'T AFFORD a mediator you didn't understand, but I CAN'T AFFORD IT. He wants to go, because he has 65 grand at his disposal and I can barely afford to anything extra right now. What does he care if he costs me more money? Quite obvious by his decision to move 50 miles away, HE DOESN'T.

Moreover, no mediator can do anything about the fact that he already moved or that my children are now forced to travel 41 miles each day just to get to school and twice as long in rush hour traffic to get back to his place. If he followed the law, he would have told me in writing 60 days IN ADVANCE and a mediator 'might' have helped (though not likely if you knew my ex), however, even to this day he won't tell me his future wife's name and they are getting married in a week and a half. It's not rocket science to figure out that he isn't moving back next week.

As for the transcript, my first trial transcript cost me $2300+ for a half week trial. Our last trial lasted a full week and ran late almost every night with more witnesses and evidence entered into evidence. I would imagine that transcript would be in the $10 grand range, which is half my annual income. Would you like to pay for it? Would make a nice Mother's Day gift.

Again, thank you for your help, but you obviously didn't read everything I said and tempus fugit.

Scott, did you have any other thoughts on my reply?

[cdad]

Well, whereas I thank you for your time to respond and I do appreciate your thoughts, my instincts are to go with what Scott is advising. Firstly, my judge knows my case EXTREMELY well. No, she won't recall everything, but she knows most. Additionally, I don't know what part of I CAN'T AFFORD a mediator you didn't understand, but I CAN'T AFFORD IT. He wants to go, because he has 65 grand at his disposal and I can barely afford to anything extra right now. What does he care if he costs me more money? Quite obvious by his decision to move 50 miles away, HE DOESN'T.

Moreover, no mediator can do anything about the fact that he already moved or that my children are now forced to travel 41 miles each day just to get to school and twice as long in rush hour traffic to get back to his place. If he followed the law, he would have told me in writing 60 days IN ADVANCE and a mediator 'might' have helped (though not likely if you knew my ex), however, even to this day he won't tell me his future wife's name and they are getting married in a week and a half. It's not rocket science to figure out that he isn't moving back next week.

As for the transcript, my first trial transcript cost me $2300+ for a half week trial. Our last trial lasted a full week and ran late almost every night with more witnesses and evidence entered into evidence. I would imagine that transcript would be in the $10 grand range, which is half my annual income. Would you like to pay for it? Would make a nice Mother's Day gift.

Again, thank you for your help, but you obviously didn't read everything I said and tempus fugit.

Scott, did you have any other thoughts on my reply?

For one thing I did read what you had said. And as far as mediation goes it shouldn't be that expensive. Mediation / Arbitration can drag out but going to at least 1 session shows you attempted to follow what your calling the law. It appears that you want to skip a step. It also seems that this situation has been going on for awhile. You didn't say but it didn't sound like it happened yesterday. Emergency should be just that. I agree that if he can't come to something reasonable then its off to court. But you had said about behavior and such that you didn't seem to approve of. The only real way to get that out is through something like mediation. That's why Im suggesting it. If the judge gives you an outlet then you should think of taking it before going to court. Unless your going to plead poor to the courts your going to pay some hefty filing fees etc for attempting to get what you want anyway.
See if there are resources that work on a sliding scale. Many places offer that.

[Fr_Chuck]

I would say in the local courts 50 miles is not going to be seen as a seriously long distance, it is not out of state and I doubt the order not to move our of a certain town would even hold up.

As for as two children sharing a room, also not even a court issue, many children have to share a room

Also if he was ordered to supply insurance, it appears he is, he can not be required to keep a certain plan, from work changing the plan to price increases changing insurance companies are a normal thing.

You could ask for him to do the transport, or at least 1/2 of the time, to be honest from one side of Atlanta to the other is almost 40 miles, most people commute that distance every day ( I know I do)

I know it is hard, but to be honest I don't see that much that could be won in court, esp the ones around atlanta

[MatrixGypsy]

For one thing I did read what you had said. And as far as mediation goes it shouldnt be that expensive. Mediation / Arbitration can drag out but going to atleast 1 session shows you attempted to follow what your calling the law. It appears that you want to skip a step. It also seems that this situation has been going on for awhile. You didnt say but it didnt sound like it happened yesterday. Emergency should be just that. I agree that if he can't come to something reasonable then its off to court. But you had said about behavior and such that you didnt seem to approve of. The only real way to get that out is through something like mediation. Thats why Im suggesting it. If the judge gives you an outlet then you should think of taking it before going to court. Unless your going to plead poor to the courts your going to pay some hefty filing fees etc for attempting to get what you want anyway.
See if there are resources that work on a sliding scale. Many places offer that.

Well, you would be wrong. It doesn't cost me anything to file another motion in an ongoing case, and it cost as much as a lawyers session to see a mediator. Moreover, you are wrong. We DID go to the mediator the Judge ordered us to go to shortly after our divorce was finalized. HIS response? "Sorry, I don't report anything to the Judge, I don't help you make decisions and I don't get involved. I am just here to be sure you don't argue." We had a TON of issues and all 3 visits did was waste my time. Nor did he listen.

I didn't have my own computer to use from Spring of '07 until this week and even though I told him all contact needed to be through the phone because I couldn't receive e-mail, he still sent me an e-mail trying to set up an appointment and because I didn't respond, he dropped us. Like every other man ganging up on me in GA since this started. You sound like my ex-husband.


Additionally, you would be wrong about the time, too. I JUST found out from my daughter in the past month about ALL of it... his moving, his remarriage, their living arrangements. I sent him a threatening text just to get his address because I needed it to register my son for school... again, he still won't introduce me to the person who is supposed to be my children's stepmother. I never heard of anything so arrogant. He acts like I am not their mother or as if I have no rights.

And I JUST GOT THIS COMPUTER THIS WEEK, and as soon as I could get the network up and running, I posted for help... hence this post.

I am the ONLY one to follow the court order to the tee. He does what he wants, when he wants and I am the only paying, as always. Right about now, your ignorance and assumptions are astounding.

Now my children are supposed to pay? I don't think so. My 5 yr old shouldn't need to sit in a car that many hours a day just to get to/from school. MY 8 yr. old should be playing, not stuck in a car every day.

I don't have the money to drive 100 miles round trip to pick up my children in a month... I had to borrow money to pay my electric bill. They cut my salary in half, cut all field trips and my rent has gone up... and unlike him, I have 3 children to pay for on my $20 grand salary. He has 2 kids to pay for with his $65.

{Insults removed-<>}

[MatrixGypsy]

Well, you would be wrong. It doesn't cost me anything to file another motion in an ongoing case, and it cost as much as a lawyers session to see a mediator. Moreover, you are wrong. We DID go to the mediator the Judge ordered us to go to shortly after our divorce was finalized. HIS response? "Sorry, I don't report anything to the Judge, I don't help you make decisions and I don't get involved. I am just here to be sure you don't argue." We had a TON of issues and all 3 visits did was waste my time. Nor did he listen.

I didn't have my own computer to use from Spring of '07 until this week and even though I told him all contact needed to be through the phone because I couldn't receive e-mail, he still sent me an e-mail trying to set up an appointment and because I didn't respond, he dropped us. Like every other man ganging up on me in GA since this started. You sound like my ex-husband.


Additionally, you would be wrong about the time, too. I JUST found out from my daughter in the past month about ALL of it.... his moving, his remarriage, their living arrangements. I sent him a threatening text just to get his address because I needed it to register my son for school... again, he still won't introduce me to the person who is supposed to be my children's stepmother. I never heard of anything so arrogant. He acts like I am not their mother or as if I have no rights.

And I JUST GOT THIS COMPUTER THIS WEEK, and as soon as I could get the network up and running, I posted for help.... hence this post.

I am the ONLY one to follow the court order to the tee. He does what he wants, when he wants and I am the only paying, as always. Right about now, your ignorance and assumptions are astounding.

Now my children are supposed to pay? I don't think so. My 5 yr old shouldn't need to sit in a car that many hours a day just to get to/from school. MY 8 yr. old should be playing, not stuck in a car every day.

I don't have the money to drive 100 miles round trip to pick up my children in a month ... I had to borrow money to pay my electric bill. They cut my salary in half, cut all field trips and my rent has gone up... and unlike him, I have 3 children to pay for on my $20 grand salary. He has 2 kids to pay for with his $65.

SO I thank you for your advice and I request that you don't supply any more of it because you are upsetting me. Your arrogance is more than I can bare as I try to protect my children.

And for your information the computer didn't cost me anything. It was a gift from my last boyfriend who found out I needed it for my children.

[Fr_Chuck]

While I do understand, this is the legal board, not the family or relationship where you can get people to say "too bad" he is bad for making too much money,

So have you considered taking online college to try and get a higher paying job,

The court does not require him to pay you a lot of money just because he has a higher paying job, in GA support is based on incomes and the level of custody.

And he won't introduce you to the step mother, so what, he is not legally required to ever introduce you and from a personal side, would not think he has to.

It sounds like there are a lot of perosnal issues that you are still angry about.

So ask him to do all the transport,

But no, I speak from exact experience in local Atlanta courts.

But if you want to try, you can file for custody because he moved too far away from their school.

[MatrixGypsy]

I would say in the local courts 50 miles is not going to be seen as a seriously long distance, it is not out of state and I doubt the order not to move our of a certain town would even hold up.

As for as two children sharing a room, also not even a court issue, many children have to share a room

Also if he was ordered to supply insurance, it appears he is, he can not be required to keep a certain plan, from work changing the plan to price increases changing insurnace companies are a normal thing.

You could ask for him to do the transport, or at least 1/2 of the time, to be honest from one side of Atlanta to the other is almsot 40 miles, most people commute that distance every day ( I know I do)

I know it is hard, but to be honest I don't see that much that could be won in court, esp the ones around atlanta

Chuck,

I live in south Roswell, he lives in Dahlonega. If the Judge ordered him to stay close and made a stink about him moving 17 miles away to Acworth, I know she will be even angrier about him moving 50 miles away to Dahlonega... especially since she know all the traffic is traveling up that way on 400 in Rush Hour traffic. It was one of the few things she sided with me on.

I DID ask him to transport the children. He refused. However, it isn't just about my finances. IN fact its least about that. It is about my children being too far away from their school, activities and everything else they know, not to mention too many hours in the car when they aren't supposed to be moved away to begin with.

{insults removed-<>}

Nor do they have to share a room. He can more than afford a larger apartment or house (not sure what he is living in now, I had to fight for his address).

And to be blunt, my daughter is already in puberty and should have some privacy. In our home she shares a room with her sister. She shouldn't be forced to get dressed with her blossoming body with her brother in the room. Thanks for your time, but I will listen to Steve, {insults removed-<>}

[MatrixGypsy]

While I do understand, this is the legal board, not the family or relationship where you can get people to say "too bad" he is bad for making too much money,

So have you considered taking online college to try and get a higher paying job,

The court does not require him to pay you alot of money just because he has a higher paying job, in GA support is based on incomes and the level of custody.

And he won't introduce you to the step mother, so what, he is not legally required to ever introduce you and from a personal side, would not think he has to.

It sounds like there are alot of perosnal issues that you are still angry about.

So ask him to do all the transport,

But no, I speak from exact experience in local Atlanta courts.

but if you want to try, you can file for custody because he moved too far away from thier school.

Moreover, the Judge did NOT do my support right because the law quite clearly states that she is supposed to take into consideration of all circumstances, including children from a previous marriage and I have sole custody of my eldest daughter but she is not listed anywhere in the financial papers the court drew up. My income goes further. She broke the law there as she did in giving a criminal joint custody. PLUS, she cut my child support in half because he has them half the time.. . but why didn't she order him to pay have the daycare/after school care?

{insults removed-<>}

[MatrixGypsy]

Moreover, the Judge did NOT do my support right because the law quite clearly states that she is supposed to take into consideration of all circumstances, including children from a previous marriage and I have sole custody of my eldest daughter but she is not listed anywhere in the financial papers the court drew up. My income goes further. She broke the law there as she did in giving a criminal joint custody. PLUS, she cut my child support in half because he has them half the time.. .but why didn't she order him to pay have the daycare/after school care?

As for level of custody, it is exactly split... as I said I get them one more day and in the financial papers she marked me as custodial. I have say over medical and religion, he over education, which you can clearly see he cares so much about moving the children so far away from their schools. He wouldn't even register his son for school; I do all of that, too.

And yes the Judge very clearly said I had say over ALL medical decisions and doctors, and his old insurance was the same price as the new one, but he did what he could as he always does, just because he could and the Order be damned. I guess you miss the part where I said he kidnapped his kids; his concerns for Orders from the judge are non-existent.

Look, I am thrilled he is remarrying. {comment removed-<>} However, as a custodial parent, you are wrong, I am legally entitled to know who my children are living with.

[ScottGem]

First, while In understand your frustration, you NEED to keep it civil. While you may not agree with some of the reponses you have gotten or their applicability to your situation, they have tried to help. Your attacking and insulting them is NOT going to be allowed here. Those remarks have been removed.

You cannot dictate who answers your posts or how. As long as they do not violate the rules of this site as you have. If you feel a post has done so, use the Report Inappropriate Post link.

As for your question, check the WEB for Family law attorneys in GA. You may find some that offer templates for motions.