[gnarfy]

My ex girlfriend and I had 2 children now 15 and 18 in California... never married. When we split we made a verbal contract for me paying child support which has stood until now. She wants to sue for back support... can she get it?

[0rphan]

Am I to understand that you have been paying regularly to date which was decided years ago by verbal agreement.

Your ex now wants you to pay again knowing that you didn't have a legal document laying out the payments by law at the time.

I'm not sure how it works over there, but in the UK I'd say she has a very good chance of denying ever received any of your payments.

Did you by chance make them through a bank in which case you have statements to prove what you say, in which case I don't think she has a second chance of getting paid.

[gnarfy]

I made probably 95% of the payments through PAYPAL. She can't deny she got those but she may want to try to get more.

[stevetcg]

You will owe whatever support was ordered by court that you cannot prove you paid.

If you paid 400/mo and can prove it, you will owe the difference between what you paid and owed. Plus interest.

A verbal change to child support is meaningless and it looks a lot like you are about to get hosed. Sorry man.

[0rphan]

I made probably 95% of the payments through PAYPAL. She can't deny she got those but she may want to try to get more.

Hi gnarfy...

Thank goodness for that, at least you didn't pay cash which is what I'd feared.

She may try to get more but that doesn't mean she succeed, you can show that you have paid voluntarily keeping your part of the agreement, so good for you.

Child payments are mainly standard for each child, unless your earning an extortionate amount and your children our shown to be in poverty, couples agreeing are usually OK.

If however you have not been paying the standard rate and you are in employment, you could be made to pay the difference, however this has worked for several years which I'm sure if it was taken through the courts would be in your favour.

There are laws that state if an ex partner then marries or lives with a person as their husband then they can no longer make a claim... however the law changes all the time, you would need to seek legal clarification on this.

When your children leaves school and begins working you no longer have to pay maintenance for them.

If I were you I would collate all the proof of payments you have made, and list any other cash payments... dates etc...

Also you could include any items you have purchased on their behalf... school books, shoes coats, etc...

If you have an Advice Bureaux where you are, write a list of questions you may have, go along and speak to them .

They will tell you all the legal implications you need to know.

[ScottGem]

First, in most states, the custodial parent cannot ask for back support prior to the date that the support application was processed. So, if she never filed IN COURT, its unlikley she can get back support.

Definitely Print out a payment record (not sure how far PayPal keeps records online). So you will have some proof that you have been supporting your kids.

[cdad]

Another thing is that since you have a child at 18 its unlikely they are going to require you to pay child support on them. Are they about to finish or have they finished high school ?

After the number crunching you could owe some but so long as you have records then it shows you have been doing what was your end of the bargin.

[cadillac59]

My ex girlfriend and I had 2 children now 15 and 18 in California...never married. When we split we made a verbal contract for me paying child support which has stood until now. She wants to sue for back support...can she get it?

She cannot sue for back child support. No. Forget it. Easy. Why? There is no "back child support" because there was never any child support ordered in the first place. You said you had a "verbal contract" for support. That means nothing.

If she wants to get current child support, sure, she can get that. But it cannot be retroactive to any date earlier than the date she files a motion for it in court. Example: she files a motion on May 1, 2009 and you are assigned a June date to appear in court. The support will start May 1, 2009, at the earliest. That's all there is to it.

The 18 year old is just about outside the bounds for having support ordered. Once he or she finishes high school then no support can be ordered for that child.