[CncrdParent]

Hello to all! My daughter is 13, will be 14 yrs old in September. She lives with her father. She is telling me these horrible stories, and I just don't know if there is anything I can do about it. I haven't reported them to dhs, in fear of making the situation worse instead of better. She is dating or has older boyfriends, the boyfriend she has now is 17. (she hasn't told her dad the truth about his age, but talks to me on the telephone in the same room as him, but he just doesn't hear her telling me) She is now being home schooled, because of misbehaving in school. She has been very aggressive with teachers and other students. She is telling me they have no gas, which means they have no hot water to shower. (she says it has been cut off for about 2 months now) She has had a problem with a lazy eye since she was small, her dad never took her to get glasses and she says now she thinks she is blind in that eye. The school told my ex once that if he didn't take her and get her glasses then they would report him, my daughter says he didn't take her to the doctor he just took her to Wal-mart and bought her a pair of reading glasses from their. She was sick the other day with a cold and wouldn't take her to the doctor, and I'm not sure but either didn't have any medicine to give her or didn't have the money to buy her some medicine to take.(he hasn't had a steady job since I've known him, for 13 years) (I took care of the cold, even though I'm in another country) I have seen where she has blogged on her internet journal, about being hungry and having nothing to eat, and her dad being too lazy to help her. She tells me stories of going to parties, and her mentally challenged uncle giving her alcohol. I have heard the two of them talking while I was on the telephone bragging about how many beers, and shots she can drink. I have talked (she is on a mobile phone) to her and she is out roaming the streets at 3 am. I asked where her dad is and she just replies casually he's sleeping. She has told me of cutting herself and her dad just yelling at her and telling her she is stupid. She is always putting herself down, very low selfesteem. She fights with her dad on a daily basis, and finds any reason to get out the house just so she doesn't have to see or talk to him. Once while talking to her on the phone he burst in the room to yell at her just for talking to me. I'm sure there is more, if I think about it hard enough. But I think I have covered the major ones. I also have another daughter that lives there she is 12 and other than not having gas, or any food in the house she is I guess all right. So this is where my confusion is. Is she being neglected, are both of them being neglected? Is she being emotionally abused? What is my next step? Would calling Child Protection help, or just make it worse?:confused:

[tickle]

You have to get to the bottom of the allegations before you report anything. Your l2 year old daughter doesn't seem to have any problems. Is she complaining about the same things ? Your l3 year old could be acting out; it is the right age for this and no supervision at all could be the underlying problem, aside from attention seeking.

Where does your daughter get the money for a cell phone ?

You say you are in another country. Can you travel to where your daughters are to investigate this matter ? I would, in a heart beat if I thought something was wrong and wanted to understand the situation.

Tick

[alana1xxx]

I think your eldest is rebelling playing one off the other if you have concerns why don't you call the father yourself and confront him about what you have been hearing or better still get on a plane and go there personally I don't really understand the situation have your daughters ever been living with you? Has their father a reputation of being neglectful?

[Mintwolf]

I'm not sure what the full extent of the situation is, however, if you feel any of that information is even half true, it is your responsibility as a parent to report it to avoid further disaster for your children. Do you have visitation rights, pay child support, or communicate with the father in any way? Are you in a situation where you could take custody of the children? In any event, my thought is, don't neglect the issue on your part by not reporting it. Whether it's true or not, by your daughter telling you all of this, it seems she is reaching out for some kind of help.