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oklahomie · Apr 19, 2009, 08:46 PM

Do you think that it's the single woman's fault in an affair with a married man? Do you think that people would look at the single woman as untrustworthy because she is with a man who cheats? Really, she isn't doing anything wrong besides enabling someone to do something wrong, but they often get much of the blame.

Sunflowers · Apr 19, 2009, 08:57 PM

Um, it is Always the married person's fault when a married person is having an affair with a single person. The married person Always Knows he or she is married, but the single person may not always know the marital status of others- because marital status can be hidden.

mudweiser · Apr 19, 2009, 08:59 PM

They are both to blame.

The married person because he/she sought out another.

The other man/woman are only guilty of the crime if they knew he/she was married- otherwise why would you blame the second party for not knowing?

Sarah

Justwantfair · Apr 19, 2009, 09:01 PM

Yes, the single person is to blame as well.

The morals of sleeping and pursuing someone who is already spoken for are just as compromised as the cheater.

oklahomie · Apr 19, 2009, 09:08 PM

Yeah the problem is that they were naïve enough to believe that if a married person strays its because they are unhappy. So it was the assumption that they would get a divorce. But now feelings are invested and you're stuck in a spot where you have to live with the consequences. Ifyou stay because you love the married person than you have to deal with being the mistress. And if you leave you have to deal with being a person that was a mistress. How would you look at a potential girlfriend if you were aware that she was once a mistress?

mudweiser · Apr 19, 2009, 09:11 PM

I wouldn't see her as a very trustworthy person. However it also depends if she knows what she did was wrong and has grew from that.

Sarah

friend4u178 · Apr 19, 2009, 09:31 PM

Originally Posted by oklahomie

Yeah the problem is that they were naieve enough to believe that if a married person strays its because they are unhappy. So it was the assumption that they would get a divorce.

Wish I had a dollar for every time I 've heard that.

YES , if they both know , they are both cheaters FULL STOP!!

none12345 · Apr 20, 2009, 12:10 AM

Takes 2 people to have an affair, therefore both is at fault.

ylaira · Apr 20, 2009, 12:14 AM

Both of them has a fault. Affair wont go on w/o the consent of the other.]( Specially if she knows he's married and still allowed the affair to go on) when it comes to this topic, it's always double standard.

I agree that when both man and a woman cheats, the level of stigma is far cry different. They say it's a nature that men can't stick to one woman and we grew up in a patriarchal society that's why.

We have rules but we all know that not everyone follows.

shazamataz · Apr 20, 2009, 02:45 AM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Wish I had a dollar for every time I 've heard that.

YES , if they both know , they are both cheaters FULL STOP !!!

Exactly!
If the other girl knew that the man was married and did it anyway then she doesn't have much respect for herself or others. She can still be calssified as a cheater as she doesn't see anything wrong with hurting the mans wife.

liz28 · Apr 20, 2009, 02:51 AM

Married man have hit on me but I just looked at them like their stupid and then give them a piece of my mind. I never been down with OPP (Other People Property).

Both parties are at fault but I think females shouldn't even entertain a married men passes. Now there have been incidents out there with females unknowingly getting involve with married men because they lied but once they find out the truth they should leave instead of staying.

A married man can't have a girlfriend so the female would be his mistress and some females have no shame with holding that title.

The other thing that gets me upset is when women who date married men say, "You can't help who you fall in love with." Maybe so, but you don't have to act on your feelings if you know he's married. Or "He's unhappily married or his wife treats him bad", please. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that. Getting involved with a married man is really weaving a tangled web and some people never learn.

talaniman · Apr 20, 2009, 09:18 AM

Being in love is a weak excuse for bad behavior. It takes two liars to cheat, one who lies to their partner, and a partner who lies to themselves.

Romefalls19 · Apr 20, 2009, 09:21 AM

Darn Tal beat me to it!

Both are at fault, the person in a relationship lies to their spouse. The person who is single, lies to themselves, especially if they believe the other will leave their spouse for them