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blue_st4r · Apr 19, 2009, 04:35 AM

I grew up thinking nudity and so on were bad because parents teach you that it is wrong.

Also my older sister would tell me off for using words like romance when we were little. She would not let me read archies because it wasn't suitable for me, she did read it though. She did the same thing with movies when we grew up. She's older than me but she's always been the commanding one.

Through out my teenage years Ive had a belief that guys are horny creatures and girls aren't, hence I kind of feel guilty after masturbation. Girls don't like sex and intimacy. And if they do, they are whores. Im 21 soon, even to this day I am having trouble believing that women actually like sex and things like that.

A lot of my work mates are in mid 20s and usually talk about dating or choosing the right one. I am having a hard time believing that girls also want to look for a partner and not just "end up" with a guy.

I think I may have asked a similar question like this before. Im still looking for some answers.

shazamataz · Apr 19, 2009, 05:14 AM

Wow, blue star.

I don't think your parents or sister did anything wrong as mine were the same, not letting me watch certain movies and read books because they 'werent suitable'

I'm not sure how religious you are when you say that god doesn't like sex or intimacy...
I'm not religious at all but I believe god says that sex before marriage is bad but sex after marriage.. good good good (ok so not those words exactly but that's the message I get)

Sex is a wonderful thing for both men and women, some choose not to have sex until they meet their perfect partner. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and I admire these people.
Other people have multiple partners before settling down to marriage... there is nothing wrong with this either and it certainly doesn't make them 'sluts'

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of at all, it is a safe way to enjoy sexual acts and is perfectly normal.

I still believe that guys are 'horny creatures' but I guess my sex drive just needs to catch up to some of the guys I've met! There are many girls out there who have higher sex drives than men as well and once again, it doesn't make them 'sluts'

bronzebabe · Apr 19, 2009, 09:37 AM

Your parents and sister did you a HUGE disservice by lying to you about sex and sexual things.. As a woman, I like sex as much if not More than most men I know. There is NOTHING wrong or sinful about that. God understands that we are human, and that we are going to BE sexual.
Never be ashamed. Never. You like sex, and that's okay. If someone tells you things are bad, or harmful, you should know better.
Don't ever settle for a man you might not like... always look for a guy that makes you happy...i wish i had the chance to talk to your family, and tell them what life is Really like...they don't seem to know.
Good Luck~!

Xrayman · Apr 19, 2009, 10:17 PM

Sorry but your parents seem okay-by limiting your viewing/reading material however your Sister seems like a hypocrite-this has damaged and coloured your beliefs and sexuality.

Sex and sexuality are the core of our beings. Having sex, enjoying it, masturbating, kissing, romance are actually more normal and natural than many of us think.

Do what you like, find the right man and in the process don't think that this is an instant ticket to slutdom.

Experiment with your sexuality, but be safe!

And perhaps ask your sister to explain her controlling and hypocritical ways to you-as this is the major cause of your feelings.

Catsmine · Apr 20, 2009, 08:55 AM

At the age of 21, you are legally an adult in these United States. You can vote, drink alcohol, own property, move to another state, do pretty much anything you choose to do, as long as you accept the consequences.

Your family has tried to protect you from the consequences of sex throughout your childhood. I think they went a little overboard, but I don't know you or them. The consequences of sex are EXTREMELY serious, including heartbreak, disease, parenthood, and self-destruction.

At 21, it's your turn. You masturbate... cool, so does everybody else, don't let them lie to you. You're interested in sex... cool, so does everybody else, don't let them lie to you. You have issues from your childhood... cool, so does everybody else, don't let them lie to you. See where I'm going with this?

You sound perfectly fine to me. Remember, on this earth, you have to be the one to decide what to do... Mom, Sis, Dad, and even Catsmine can't do it for you.

chrissymarie · Apr 20, 2009, 09:49 AM

Well you're a grown woman now so you can make your own decisions and develop your own beliefs and morals. If your looking to just start accepting sopmeone else's beliefs about sex because your beliefs "suck" that won't help you either. You need to find yourself and find out what you personally feel and believe about sex. That will be the only "right" answer for you (the one you believe yourself)