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bubbles8905 · Apr 17, 2009, 08:16 PM

I been with my boyfriend for a good while now. In the beginning I did not take our relationship I fooled around with another guy behind his back, but I did not have sex with the guy. But I still cheated, my boyfriend eventually found out about it soon after but he was not aware of all the details. I thought he had put it behind him. It came up lastnight on the phone and he is still deeply hurt by the situation. He can't trust me right now, but he loves me and has invested so much time and effort into us . I feel really horrible not just because I was caught, but more so that I have hurt him this bad. I have fallen in love with this man, and have been completely honest and faithful with him since that happen. But how do I get him to trust me? He wants me to give him a reason to stick with me right now. I am promising my life on I'm not the same person when we first got together and I did what I do. I admit I made a HUGE mistake, and that I know I screwed this up . I'm begging for one last chance to prove to him that Im really a good person and I can be the girl that he deserves... what else should I do? I don't want to loose him //He is the only good thing in my life.. I need help//please
Thanks

talaniman · Apr 17, 2009, 08:28 PM

Be a good girlfriend and hope he gets over it, is the best thing you can do. Really its up to him.

mudweiser · Apr 17, 2009, 08:33 PM

Why would you want to be with someone that you had to convince to stay with you? Wouldn't it be better if they did it from their heart and not by obligation.

Truth is you messed up all you can do is like Tal said "be a good girlfriend". Maybe this relationship is supposed to be a lesson for the ultimate one. I think of failed relationships as stepping stones to not only the ultimate relationship but to who you will become, a stronger and wiser person.

Sarah

bubbles8905 · Apr 17, 2009, 08:35 PM

Cause I know its my fault we are in this situation. I know he loves me, and I understand this. I just want to do what I can to make it work.. I don't want to give up

mudweiser · Apr 17, 2009, 08:38 PM

Then don't give up. Don't cheat, be honest and let him see that you are trustworthy.

It doesn't mean he needs to keep tabs on you or you need to give him a play by play of your day's events. It means you need to BE trustworthy. Watch your behavior around other males or bring a friend with you if your going to be alone with another male.

Your boyfriend needs to regain the trust you have abused- it will take time, I can assure you of that.

Sarah

none12345 · Apr 17, 2009, 11:36 PM

I know I'm going to say things you might not agree to but you did cheat on him. You don't need to have sex with someone to be considered cheating. You cheated on him with your heart instead. Anyway cheating is hard to forgive. He might not be able to ever get over it. What I've learned, you can't give someone a reason to stay, well you can but in the end it really doesn't matter.

He's going to make the decision to stay or not and there's nothing you can say that will affect it but instead it will only push him further. If he loves you he will decide to forgive you and choose to be with you himself. I think you need to give him some space to see if he can forgive you or not.