[samagwire]

Here is my story.

I was a senior, and I met a beautiful, smart, caring, wonderful freshman girl. Her and I started dating and we built a great relationship. I graduated from high school and we had a wonderful first summer together. We told each other that we love one another. I go off to college two hours away and we decide to continue our relationship no matter the distance. Everything is great, I love her family she loves mine. We have such a great respect for one another and we agree that we will spend our lives together. She is my best friend and I am hers. We made it through our first year and the second summer is splendid. We are so close to each other and everything seems perfect. We almost make it through my second year of college, but a few weeks ago she tells me that she doesn't seem happy anymore. She is starting to feel confused about her feelings. She doesn't want to hurt me but she asks for a break. I am devastated but I love her so much and I can just hope things work out. Well I come home the next weekend and she is obviously acting differently. She tells me that she wants to officially break up. She tells me that she doesn't know how to explain how she feels, but she needs to find out who she is. She has always been in some kind of a relationship for the past 8 years and she says that she just needs some time to figure out who she is. She told me that when she was dating me, she felt as though she couldn't go out and do fun things with her friends because she was afraid of what I would think, and she just needs some time to be free and not have to worry about a boyfriend. She told me she hopes to get back together with me, but I don't need to wait for her if I don't want to. I love her with all of my heart and know God put her on this earth for me. I don't want to spend my life with anyone else, and I know that for a fact. She is going to be a senior in high school next year and I think she just needs some time to be her young self and enjoy her last year in high school. I am just confused as to what I do now. I am going to be there for her and be her best friend. It's just weird because she still wants to talk to me and hang out, just not as boyfriend girlfriend. I'm confused on how I should feel. Lately she just hasn't seemed the same and it's weird. I guess I'm just asking for some help. I feel so hurt and alone inside. Has anyone else been in my situation? I want to wait for her as long as it takes, but I just don't understand how someone can have a great relationship for two years, and then in a matter of two weeks want a break. I need some help. Thanks!

[ylaira]

No no no no nope... don't be friends. All those break up lines she said are so overused when it all means "I want to be out." (Most common line is "It's not you, it's me." For 2 years she's certain already on what she's doing. Leave her alone. Go No Contact.

This advice is not to show "I can survive w/o you." It's just going NC is the best way to heal fast and move on. Don't call, no text, no happy easter, no "accidental" bump in, no "I just came across". Keep all the things that reminds her.

Who say's its easy? It's damn hard. It's like the sky fell. But you got no choice but to move forward. Person no longer want you in their life, move on.

Fastest way? Go NC.

[samagwire]

Yeah, but she is a really great person and I truly think she wants to work things out and get back together with me. So I don't want to just not be there for her anymore because I've been there for her for two years. I'm just afraid that if I go no contact, that she'll just move on from me and it'll never be able to work out. For me it is truly her, or no one else the rest of my life. I won't love again.

[ylaira]

Yeah, but she is a really great person and I truly think she wants to work things out and get back together with me. So I don't want to just not be there for her anymore because I've been there for her for two years. I'm just afraid that if i go no contact, that she'll just move on from me and it'll never be able to work out. For me it is truly her, or no one else the rest of my life. I won't love again.

I am a woman and those are our subtle break up lines....not happy, confused, wants official break up, needs to find out who she is, she hopes getting back but doesn't want you to wait... Why not happy? Why need official break up? What to find out- if she can be happier without you? Why she doesn't want you to wait? Aren't she looking forward to be with you- everyday? Trust me it means she's fallen out of love. It's just up to you when to accept it.

[samagwire]

And there is nothing to do to change it?

[ylaira]

And there is nothing to do to change it?

Just give what she asked for... space. Give it say 3 weeks ABSOLUTELY no contact. If she wants you back she'll reach out to you on her own.

They say you can realize the value of a thing when it's gone.

You can't wait forever so set a time frame.

[samagwire]

You have been very helpful. I appreciate your input and I will try to see how three weeks with no contact goes. Thanks again! God Bless

[Romefalls19]

Give her space, allow your life and her life to get back in order. Take up something you have been meaning to do but haven't had the time. Join a gym and read the stickies at the top of the forum

[Wonder-er]

Dude! To put it plainly, all girls these days want to do is have fun and party. I'm 28 years old and the women my age are just now getting to the point of settling down. I know how you feel. Love is great, but I have found that it is hard to find and old fashioned girl that wants marriage, kids, and most of all to STAY TOGETHER!

[talaniman]

And there is nothing to do to change it?

Get a life that you enjoy without her in it.

It might not change HER mind, or her feelings for you, but YOU will feel better, and be happy without her.

[dom87]

So what was the outcome with you and the special lady friend that you mentioned... did you guys get back together or go separate ways?