[randy1971]

Does the bible say anything about letting yourself be taken advatage of ? I know you're suppose to help people out as much as you can, but when is it help, and when does it become being abused?

[jakester]

randy1971 -

I don't think there's any simple answer to your question since it is so general.

Being compassionate and caring is to be a mark of a genuine disciple of Christ. But I think we all have to understand that there is a difference between charity and cowardliness. On the one hand being loving towards someone can place us in a position of vulnerability. People can abuse us because of our goodwill but because we are evil, we should not shirk the responsibility of being compassionate because compassion in of itself is a right thing.

However, at times compassion can be masked as cowardice but be thought of as compassion. For example, a doting mother could really want to give her child the world and the child could be more than willing to accept it. But wisdom tells us that children do not always want what is best for them. Because a mother's instinct is to love her child, she may in fact be meeting a subjective need in herself to nurture her child and she may assume she is being compassionate and loving. But there is also a point that a mother can cross where she is convincing herself of her compassion when she is really afraid—afraid of saying no to her child's every whim for fear that her child will reject her. So, what seems like compassion can really be a ruse for abetting fear. We must try and understand what our motivations are and be self-reflective enough to see what is going on in our hearts and minds. To me, that is the best thing we can do.

Follow up your question with an example of your situation, if you care to.

[arcura]

jakester,
That point is well made.
I've known people who do that and the kids are spoiled brats.
Fred

[randy1971]

My friend stopped helping his step children because anytime he needs any favors they will not help. But as soon as they need something they ask him "aren't christians suppose to help each other?"

[arcura]

randy1971
That kind of accusation is often misused.
Fred

[jakester]

my friend stopped helping his step children because anytime he needs any favors they will not help. but as soon as they need something they ask him "aren't christians suppose to help each other?"

Randy - to which I'd respond "doesn't Jesus say that we should love our neighbor as ourselves?" It's always tragic when we selfishly use people but to invoke God's name in it is all the more shameful. This is why we need mercy and wisdom from God.

I hope your friend becomes wise and perhaps even bold against his step-children who are clearly lacking in understanding of what Christianity is to be about... it is compassion but also righteousness... to divorce righteousness from compassion is like asking for mercy without really heeding the call to strive after righteousness.

[arcura]

jakester,
Very good answer.
Fred