[thadude]

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me back in August. We didn't argue or anything, she just broke up with me. It hit me by surprise. She had a new boyfriend a month after we broke up. She said she still wanted to be friends. I told her I didn't hate her, but to go live her life. She went out and bought my family xmas gifts, she brought food over on thanksgiving, she called to wish me a happy birthday and new years, and now she calls me for stupid reasons. She even asked me if I was going to go to her graduation from college in June. After xmas I sat down with her and asked her what she wanted from me. She acted as if she didn't know what I was asking. I told her that she was doing too much. She cried when I told her that. Her little sister told me that she would cry every time she came home. My question is why is she doing all this.

[liz28]

You shouldn't let this bother you. After all she made her bed so let her lay in it.

The list could be endless for her actions but only she knows why.

With that being said, you don't have to remain friends with her because she wants to especially if you still have feelings for her. This is a very bad idea.

Submitted to her needs is a thing of the past and were living in the present. If she wants to talk to someone let her talk to her boyfriend.

[ISneezeFunny]

I think it's obvious? You know why she's doing this... but I'll confirm.

She misses you. Does she want to get back with you? Maybe, maybe not. However, after 5 years, she ended things (possibly because she thought the grass was greener on the other side, but found out that it was astroturf), but had hopes for maintaining a relationship with you (as a friend) to keep you in her life. She then found a new guy to fill that void that you left... and now, she just wants her best friend back.

[none12345]

If she wants her "friend" back. Do you want to be "just friends" or would you want something more to that?

[thadude]

Me and my ex girlfriend dated for 5 years. She broke up with me last aug. We still talked a little after until nov when she had a new boyfriend. That's when I just cut her off. She still would call me but I'd keep it brief.but she always made an effort to stay in mylife. Then she went out and bought my family gifts for xmas, brought food over on thanksgivin to my parents house, called me on new years and my birthday and she wanted me to go to her birthday party. So after new years I told her to go live her life and be with her boyfriend.over the next 4 months She would still find stupid reasons to contact me.if I did answer I kept it brief and to the point. Then on the day before memorial day she texted me and asked if I could watch our dog that we had because she had to go back to school and work. I said yea and I picked up the dog. She called me later on that day and told me that I can drop the dog off. So it was a set up. So I went to the house to drop the dog off and this is my first time seeing her in 5 months. This is when she asked me if we could be friends again since its been a year since we broke up. I told we would have to talk before anything ever happens between us again. I found out that she went to talk to my mom that day too about our relationship and how I don't talk to her anymore.so she called me on the 4th of July so we could have our talk. We went to the dog park and she was all quiet.I asked her why she wanted to be friends again. She really didn't answer it So I just told her how I took things and why I stopped talking to her. I told her that's why she had a boyfriend, go be with him. That there was no need for us to talk when she had a boyfriend. She texted me later that night saying thanks for talking to her and that it made her feel better. Then a couple weeks after that she texted me asking what happened with me being arrested. I told her and we talked a little bit. Then a couple weeks after that she asked me to go to dinner with her. So we went to dinner and she was kind of quiet. Then we sat around in my car and talked a little and she was asking who these girls where that I told her little sis about. I told her don't worry about it. Then I dropped her off and she wanted a hug. But the thing is that she still has a boyfriend. So why would she ask to go to dinner with me. So if anyone can help me out with what she wants, I'd appreciate it

[I wish]

Threads merged to follow the entire story

You've been broken up for over a year. Why open up old wounds?

Leave each other alone, otherwise you're just setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak.

[thadude]

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me last aug. I don't know why really and I still don't a year later. She said she wanted to be friends. I was just like whatever with it. We still talked for 2 months after we broke up, but once she got a new boyfriend I cut her off. But she made an effort to stay in my life. She bought food over on thanksgiving, bought my fam xmas gifts, called me on new years and on my birthday. She even invited me to her birthday party and her college graduation . After xmas I told her to live her life and be with her new boyfriend. But she still would find stupid reasons to get in contact with me from jan until may. If I did respond it was always short and to the point. Then on memorial day she asked if I could watch our dog until her parents got home because she had to go back to school and work. I said yea but come to find out it was a set up. She called me later that night and said she was home so I can drop the dog off. So I went there to drop the dog off and she asked me if we could be really good friends again. I didn't respond really, told her we would have to talk before anything happens and I left. She also went to my house and talked to my mom that day, saying how I never talk to her or anything. She called me on the 4th of July to have our talk. She was really quiet, and I asked her why she wanted to be friends again. She said because its been a year since everything happened and maybe we could be cool again. So ijust told her how I took the break up and why I cut her off. And I told her that she can talk to her boyfriend and hang wit him if she's lonely. She texted me later that night saying thanks for talking to her and it made her feel better. She then texted me about a month after that asking what happened with me being arrested. We talked a little bit. Then about 3 weeks after that she texted me asking if we could go to dinner. I said yea, and when we we're out she was quiet. Then she asked about my dating life. I didn't say anything really. Jus told her don't worry about it. When I dropped her off she wanted a hug. But the thing is that she still has a boyfriend, so why would she ask me out to dinner. Any info would be nice on what's going on. Thanks

[ThehopelessGuy]

The crutch... don't you love it when women want to be your friend after they rip your heart out? Still don't know what makes them think we'd want to be their friend... (sorry ladies you can do it.. we don't.)

Honestly it seems like she anoys the hell out of you, and the only reason your dealing with it is because you still got feelings for her...

So id be blunt (as much as most would say not to be) tell her straight up what she wants from you... tell her I don't know.. "dont treat me like a back up?"

People need to understand that smart people only give you one chance... when they screw it up its over.

Of course my methods are for the head strong and blatant... get more opinions XD.

[jaime90]

The best way to find out what she wants, is to ask her straight up.

[2ndTime]

Oh, dear. Why do so many men nowadays wants to be the comfort blanket and tag along to manipulative women. I am a woman, if I broke up with my boyfriend, I wouldn't want him to be my best friends. Take ThehopelessGuy and jaime90's advice, they have experience.

[jaime90]

Surprisingly, I don't have much dating experience. I'm only 19, I had my first hug, my first kiss (etc.), my first boyfriend, my first engagement, my first relationship, with the same guy. I have never in my life experienced a true break-up. However, in my relationship, I have experienced 1 year of long-distance relationship, 3 months of snail-mail contact, and 3 months of NO contact. I've lived with and without the guy. I've known him for 4 years, he was my best friend and still is.
I just find that it is common sense to ask someone if you want to know something about them... It doesn't take experience to figure that out ;)

[Tanzania]

I would ask her why she wants to be your friend so bad. Change your number and don't tell her where you live. Especially if she still has a boyfriend.