[SaraKammeraad]

2 years ago I became involved with CPS shortly having a pregnancy of a child that died. The child died from a birth defect that is so uncommon and causes so many differwent effects that it does not even have it's own name. CPS came involved shortly after due to my boyfriend, now husband, was given a DUI with child endangerment. He did not get pulled over. I was actually the one that was driving and had not drank anything. I slide on wet pavement into someone's yard. CPS told me that if I went to court with him and explained to the judge that I was the one driving that they would take my kids and since then they've been on me about every little thing. I don't do drugs, hit my kids, I was living at my parents, paying rent and providing food not just for my kids and I but also for my parents. Since then I have moved out and into 2 different homes because they told me to. They had also said that if I gave guardianship to someone that they would have to leave us alone, and that we would have the right to stop it at anytime, even my own attorney told me that. We had made a plan to stop guardianship within 3 monthes. When 3 monthes came up we couldn't stop it because they had already taken jurisdiction. To make a long story short they are ruining our lives and causing my kids emotional harm. I would like to know how I can prove that to the court. I am currently waiting for my trial with the court and feel like I don't know how to defend against what they are saying because all they are saying is purely hear-say. It has been brought up into court by the judge several times that he does not want to hear he said/ she said. Is there anything that I can do to help my situation? My attorney refuses to let me say anything with the idea that I may say the wrong things. CPS is saying that they have offered services which they did not and the services that they told me to do, parenting classes, I had to personally pay for. I was seeing my own therapist at 1 point but then they assigned me a different 1 and she was not helpful and only tried to gather information and take wjhat I said out of context and represented everything wrongly. I had anxiety when she was seeing me but she never diagnosed me with it and never did any treatment. I am having my OB as a witness since he was the 1st person to daignose me since it was due to the pregnancy and the way the pregnancy was changing my chemicals. I no longer have anxiety and am missing a lot of my memory. I would like any helpful information or something, anything to help.

Thank you very much.

[JudyKayTee]

I'm having trouble following your post - what are you actually going to trial for? I realize you've posted before about a trial on domestic abuse charges.

Is this something else? If you have an Attorney I would put my trust in him/her. He/she knows the situation better than I do. However, you and I have posted back and forth and I would (honestly) like to help you. I am just having trouble understanding what you are asking.

Okay?

[SaraKammeraad]

Well honestly there is no one in this situation that understands why we are going through this. In the beginning it was due to the DUI issue which ny the way did end up getting dropped. And when that happened CPS was already involved had told me that I had to move from my parent to show that I can hold a household down myself. I moved, I had a job but they were having me tell me supervisor that I could not work any days at a certain time so I lost my job. The 1st case worker tried to get my daycare provider to quit, she told her I was a drug addict, which I was testing for them and was clean. Then CPS had my house raided and they didn't find anything, and I had my mom make an issue out of it, and so they took a hair test sample and that came out clean. After that she got kicked off my case. The next girl from CPS had an issue with my sliding door at the apartment I rented and tried to take my kids over that. The judge told them to install a top bar lock which they did but it lost my security deposit. Well I had another job and this girl called my employer told them who she was and everything that was going on and then popped in that they would have to go by CPS time for me to be able to work. So I got fired and she got kicked off the case for doing that. Since then I had gotten a job as a bartender and that wasn't good enough and what am I teaching my kids, it's always been this that and the other. It's never been 1 real reason and anytime anyone has asked specifically what is wrong they avoid the question or answer it extremely generally. At the last court hearing that we had there issue was whether the kids dad and I were going to stay together after court was all through. So, to prove it we went and got married earlier than what we preferred. We were waiting for court to be over so that we ciould have our kids in the ceremony and it just be a great day, but instead we just went to the court house and did it, since this was an issue for CPS. I'm just stressed out and I do not want to lose my kids over something that5 I don't even know. I have taken 4 parenting classes even though I was only ordered to do 1. The first one that I did CPS said it wasn't good enough and so no and so on.

Thank you for responding I really do appreciate it.

[JudyKayTee]

Wow - I do know that if CPS takes a burn to someone they can make life miserable. Other people have posted about this fairly often.

I have no legal advice to give you (but I do remember you) but I'm sure someone who DOES know, who has experience in this type of thing, will come along.

Again - not anything I know a whole lot about but other people do and hopefully they'll be along soon - !

[SaraKammeraad]

Thank you very much. I do understand that this is a very difficult situation that I have gotten myself into and I pray daily that sooner than later my family will be able to over-come this stressful dilema.

[plantfreek]

It sounds to me as if someone has either a vendetta against you or who truly believes you are not being a good parent to your children.
If it were me, I'd find me a better lawyer who would be going about gathering evidence to refute what they are saying about you. I'd line up some good character witnesses who would be willing to testify- that would solve the he said she said issue with the judge!
Do you have a local legal aid society? They provide free legal advice. I'd get a second opinion from a reliable lawyer before I moved one step further if I were you.
These cases can get very very stressful and very expensive. The agencies have a lot more resources then you and will use them to win if they feel it's the thing to do. Although I believe the great majority of county/state social workers in the Dependent Children agencies are wonderful, hardworking people who will always do what's best for their cases, there are always small, mean petty people in every bureaucracy. Avoid making them mad.
Call around and find out if you have a local CASA organization. They have trained volunteers who will be advocates, in court situations, for your children. I'd do that first thing if it were me. The CASA volunteer can observe and report to the judge and they are usually well respected by the court system and community.
I've been a foster parent for 15+ years and have been and used CASA volunteers many times for my foster kids. This would also show the judge that you have your kids interest at heart and are concerned with them first and foremost.
I don't understand completely what is going on in your situation but it isn't necessary that I do so for me to make recommendations to you.
1) Call your local CASA agency. If you can't find it in your phone book call your local county courthouse and ask them for their number. Also ask them for any agencies in your county who might be able to help you.
2) Look for a local legal aid society for free legal advice and so you don't go broke fighting for your and your kids rights.
3) Call your kid's schools and ask to speak to either their staff social worker or the kids counselors. Explain the situation to them, as CLEARLY and SUCCINCTLY as you can and ask them to talk to the kid's teachers. This way you will find out if the kids are exhibiting any stress during their time at school. This can only help your kids and help your case by again showing the judge that you are advocating for your children, that they are your FIRST concern.
4) Talk to your therapist. Find out if there are any parenting classes you can take voluntarily in your area.
Good luck. This has to be stressful for all of you. Take time out to take care of yourself-go for a walk, exercise, work off this stress so it doesn't harm you physically or mentally and take time to have some fun with your kids.
YOU are the number one line of defense for your family. You stay strong for them.
Prayers are with you.
plantfreek
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Public Health Educator
CASA Volunteer
Red Cross Emergency Preparedness Specialist
Trained and Certified Foster Parent
McNair Scholar
Parent of four beautiful girls, foster parent to many