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michael alcorn · Mar 18, 2009, 03:44 PM

I just found out that I have a ten year old kid I never knew about so I have not ever seen it and I have been going through court for the last year and still have not seen the kid and the mom has not showed up to any of the court dates so I was wanting to know if I might be able to get the child support stopped since the mom will not let me see the kid.

Synnen · Mar 18, 2009, 04:12 PM

Probably not.

You have a financial responsibility to the child, whether you SEE the child.

Can you initiate a court case where you get visitation rights? Sure!

Get a good lawyer, though. She's going to fight you on that.

cdad · Mar 18, 2009, 04:57 PM

Im curious. What exactly have you been doing in the courtroom for a year ? It shouldn't take that long to get a DNA test ordered and done. Also have you been asking for visitation ? If not then you need to but don't expect anything huge. There has to be a get to know you period.

genisisdawn · Mar 18, 2009, 05:03 PM

You can talk to a DA and sign your rights over to the mother for full custody.

**** I have to add a note here, this is so poor, so incorrect I was going to delete it, but it is refereced already. Even if full custody is given ( sounds like she already has it) that has nothing to do with having to pay child support, you can not just sign your rights over anyway. I wish people who have no knowledge of the legal issues would not answer **** FC

nikosmom · Mar 18, 2009, 05:30 PM

Child support and visitation are two separate issues- if you choose not to fight for your right to see him/her (not "it"), then that doesn't negate your financial responsibility.

You have a right to a DNA test to prove paternity so you should continue to push the issue with the caseworker. You don't even have to go at the same time; you can each submit your sample separately.

If you file for a visitation order, she has no choice but to comply otherwise she is in contempt.

genisisdawn · Mar 19, 2009, 11:23 AM

Well my girlfriend has a 5 month old that got sick. He's in the hospital now and cps now has conservatorship over him. My girlfriend was having to pay child support on him. She talked to her lawyer and she said the best thing would be for her to sign her rights away since she can't afford the child support. She no longer has to pay child support now that she gave her rights up.

cdad · Mar 19, 2009, 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by genisisdawn

well my girlfriend has a 5 month old that got sick. hes in the hospital now and cps now has conservatorship over him. my girlfriend was having to pay child support on him. she talked to her lawyer and she said the best thing would be for her to sign her rights away since she can't afford the child support. she no longer has to pay child support now that she gave her rights up.

Your friend did something really wrong and possibly neglegent. What she had done is give that baby up for adoption.

Where was the father of the child during all this ?

Synnen · Mar 19, 2009, 03:55 PM

Generally the ONLY way a person gets out of child support is if the child is adopted--or in the process of being adopted.

Betcha any money that lawyer has adoptive parents lined up for that baby, that she got out of child support.

cadillac59 · Mar 19, 2009, 10:56 PM

If the mom will not let you see the kid that alone is not likely a defense to child support being owed. BUT, in California, we have a defense to child support enforcement called "concealment" which is something like denying a co-parent access to the kid. The custodial parent has to prevent you from knowing where the kid is until the age of majority. If that's what you mean by "won't let me see the kid" then you might have a defense to CS payment. If not, then you wouldn't.

Just get a custody/visitation order.

genisisdawn · Mar 21, 2009, 11:53 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

Generally the ONLY way a person gets out of child support is if the child is adopted--or in the process of being adopted.

Betcha any money that lawyer has adoptive parents lined up for that baby, that she got out of child support.

The father is fully capable of taking care of the baby and he is not going into a foster home or being adopted. Until the baby gets better (and he is slowly progressing thank god) and out of the hospital cps has conservatorship of him. The father is also having to pay child support for the time being.