[floridaorange]

What is it calles when someone does the smallest favor for you, like giving you a ride or getting you something from the store, that they need constant praise for that and never lets you forget how much they do for you.

And when you are in a disagreement with them they always seem to throw the things they do for you in your face.

Why do people do this?:confused:

[margdav86]

Maybe they feel that you are taking them for granted?

[Nestorian]

Personally I've come to realise; though I don't really through things into others faces when I do them favors, unless I'm actaully kidding; that I do way too much for people. I do so much, not for just one person but lots, and so it may seem to one that I'm not doing much but really I am. To me, I'm making room for them in an almost impossible expectation I have for myself to help/ please every one.

There are many names for this. Perfectionist, egotistical, selfcentered, ignorent, I can't recall the name you are specifically looking for but I can give yousome insight as to why we do this.

When I was younger, I inadvertently learnd that if I was perfect I got good attention, if not, then I was ignored. So I began to believe if I was perfect in other's eyes, then I would be LOVED. That's all I've ever wanted, to feel loved, and appreciated. The problem is that I never could meet others expectations, nor my own. So, I started to simply give up, and not bother trying. Yes very messed up.
No matter what I did, do I could never feel loved or appreciated until I learn to love myself, and do things that make me feel good, like working out, or making a good supper, and playing my guitar, but not for anyone but me. I imagine the person you are talking about is trying to please others, you included, before them self, and then expect others to fill their needs and do favors for them to show that they are valued/ appreciated/ loved(friends, family, lovers.).

Try asking them who they are, and what they expect form themselves, and if they love/know themselves?

Also, don't forget that you are not different, you may have a complex of your own, or some other issue, because I can't say I've ever met/ heard of any one who doesn't.

Well I hope that helps, gives you any idea into why they may behave as they do. Pretty much I'd say its them trying to please others and then they don't get what they want back, and then soon they loose energy, and burn out; Thus, resenting those they help. Or taking it (their frustrations) out on others around them. Twisted I know.

Peace and kindess.