[Dillenger]

Hi, I started college in the Fall of 2008, and started feeling funny in early November. I had a severe panick attack/breakdown on December 20, 2008, and went to many doctors. I was finally diagnosed with bipolar in late December. I was so ill that I could not return to school for the spring 2009 semester. I am starting to feel better with the medicines and really want to go back to school. My university is 3 hours away from my home, and though I have many friends there, and really want to go back to continue my education, I am very scared of the unexpected. What support systems are out there? Also, I really need money since my mother has spent so much money on doctor bills, medicine and transportation back and forth to the doctor's office. We have insurance, but the co-pays are adding up. Is there money I can apply for to help my mother out?

[Illusion]

I am glad you are feeling better. It sounds like you have had a difficult few months. And despite your fear of the unexpected - fear not, you are not alone. We all have to deal with the unexpected - that is just life. I am not sure that it is fear of the unexpected though - it may be more that you feel you will not be able to handle whatever comes up - when in fact, you sound like you have been able to handle your own illness by getting medical help, taking some time off to rest, and now planning to go back to school. You have done all right to take care of yourself.

School can be overwhelming and demanding, you may need a calendar and goal list to plan out your days, study time, things to buy, papers that are due, etc. Sometimes just writing things down and writing your goals on paper can make a difference and make it feel more manageable.

Anything that comes up, trust that you will be able to recognize what needs to be done, get help and information from other people if you need to and follow through on doing what is right. The thing to remember is, even if it is scary, there are always people to help you - no matter what the problem is, there is always someone that you can turn to for help on what to do - hey, even ask me help desk! Imagine that! It is always all right to ask questions and ask for help - we are all learning and growing as we go along.

Because of your illness, you may want to find out if you qualify for social security benefits - there is a website where you can access information. It's worth a try. Did your medical person suggest therapy for you - even group therapy might be good for you so you have a chance to interact and talk with other people who are also feeling vulnerable (and by the way, we are all vulnerable - that is just life also).

Any books on working on your self-esteem would be good also - Dr. David Burns, M.D. has several books that might be good for you to read - very informative and supportive.

Take care my dear, and know you will be divinely guided and supported in all you do.