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Rosanne01 · Feb 28, 2009, 03:59 PM

Hi hope I'm in the right forum!
My father is terminally in hospital. What I and my 3 sisters would like to know is if his wife of 27 years would be able at any time, stop us from seeing him as she is his next of kin?
She is not our mother.
There is going to be a meeting next week to decide his future placement whether it is a hospice or possibly to go to his home. If he went home we know she would not let us see him.
We are not young children we are from ages 51-44
Throughout the past years we have had to meet our father in secret as she is jealous of his previous life.
Any advice appreciated time is of the essence.

cdad · Mar 1, 2009, 08:31 AM

Who are you having the meeting with to make this decision ? If he is in the home they share then yes she could have a right to refuse. But based on what you have said about his condition I don't believe she could provide proerly during his hospice care. <-- just my opinion.

Are you or have you applied for POA ? ( power of attorney ? )

435Studio · Mar 2, 2009, 08:41 AM

What makes you believe she would prevent you from seeing him? If he goes home under hospice care, he will have a team of individuals to provide care. An important member of that team is a social worker who is an expert in dealing with family dynamics. I would encourage you to call the local hosipce, even if your father does not enter their care, and ask for advice.

If your father wants to see you and your sisters you should make that fact known very cleary, and ask him to express it as well. I encourage you to do anyting you can to be with him as much as possible. After he is gone, you will wish you did.