[animander]

Recently I moved in with my boyfriend of four years. Everything is great between us and we have a lot of fun together and a lot of good conversations. Our relationship before this was always long distance because I was in college, and he even left for 18 months to take a job overseas. Some how in the couple of months we have been together the sex has dwindled down to maybe once a week at most. I am constantly getting turned down when I try to initiate anything with him. He tells me some lame excuse for why we can't do it or says that we will do it later, which never happens. Whenever I approach him about this he always tells me that I am using him for sex. It hurts my feelings to be turned down by the love of my life. What can I do to make him see that he is not satisfying my sexual needs?

[letmetellu]

One of the best ways I know of is sometime when you are not in a sexual situation bring the subject up. Maybe you could ask him if he is pleased with your performances durning your sex acts. Then listen to what he says, that might give you a clue as to what the problem might be. Then turn the subject to him and tell him that you would like more and better. Be specific about what you want if he ask you what you would like. Like different positions, different acts, like oral or anal, maybe you just need some spice. You indicated that as long as it was a distant relationship things were good, I will bet that you and he had lots of phone sex at that time and I am sure that many nights you went to bed hurting with desire.

Maybe you should try some more of that now.

Good luck

[O_Troubles]

If he says you are using him for sex don't have sex with him. Dildo Vibrator your hands do something else. Tell him when he is comfortable and ready he can come to you for sex. If he doesn't want to maybe you want to look further into this. Does he have a low sex drive, is he cheating? Do you mabie need to take a step back in your relationship did u move to fast for him?

[artlady]

Communication is the key to any healthy relationship.

I find it odd that couples can engage in the most intimate sexual acts but when it comes time to discuss sex they get shy and feel embarrassed.

Tell him what your needs are and how his apparent lack of interest in sex is bothering you.Ask him if he is satisfied with the sex or if he would like to spice things up.

Maybe he is going through a depression.Does he have a high pressure job?

Tell him you will do all the work,maybe he's just too tired for sex.
Have him lay back and relax and you take the lead role.

Sex does not always have to be this serious love making romantic adventure.Sometimes it can be just plain fun,lets hurry and do this.. there is a show I want to see in an hour.;)

Talk it out and remember that men are visual creatures so you can always seduce without words... :rolleyes:

[talaniman]

What did you expect after 4 years? If you can't talk about this, and work together to solve your issues, what's the point? Make some coffee, and discuss this, or make him sleep on the couch!

[workedtoohard]

He might be cheating. I would consider hiring an investigator. Not to mess with you, but you could also try dressing up, checking your breath, little things to make it nicer (if he isn't cheating) though you shouldn't empower him to be a picky punk.