The stress is breaking you apart. Be careful with that, take time to get out and vent your anger, fear, and any other negative stressers.
I'd say you are anxious, on account you seem pretty agitated, especailly by how you've written, and your use of language. Anxiety can lead to depression, in that there is a point a person simply can't take the stress any more. So they can either explod, or implode. If they explod they just get mad at every one and every thing, then end up feeling terrible after any way. If you implode you'll tear yourself apart, and systimatically bring yourself into a emotional state of emptiness.
It's OK, to be angery, and afraid and any number of other things. Yes, there are things you "should" do to help others out, make them feel better. But if you don't find a way to feel better, then how will you have to energy(positive) to help them? Maybe go talk to a counseler, it sounds like a sound start.
Depression, has more to do with lethargy, apathey, slowed motion, loss of consentration, confution, lack of motivation, extream change in eating habbits (mosr or less.), with drawing from friends family, feelings of emptyness/ worthlessness/ insignificante, and so on...
I hope things get better for you. And I hope that helps.
Peace and kindness be with you.
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