[kissmerotton86]

So, I have had this problem in relationships for years and I never really found help or knew where to start. I am in desperate need of advice. Please help me from sabotaging this relationship too I don't know how to control myself.

I have a girlfriend who is so amazing and good to me. But I recently started feeling super emotional and jealous when she gets hit on by other people. My issue is that I distance myself from her so I don't have to deal w it or make a fool of myself by explaining why I am upset. I know that everyone gets jealous but I really need to control my jealousy so that I don't push her away like I have in the past. Please help. What do you do? What are things I could try? Ps I am a girl. Thanks

[talaniman]

Its one thing to have feelings like that. Its an entirely different think to act on them. Practice not acting on them, and work on the underlying cause of those feelings... FEAR, that leads to anger, and everything else just follows. Trying something you can do, and succeed at, and setting small goals for yourself, can raise yourself esteem, and help you deal with the fear. What do you do when you have free time to yourself?

Also, and be honest with yourself, does your partner feed that insecurity and fear with her behavior?

[liz28]

When someone flirts with my fiancé or stares a little too long I simply holds his hand or give him a kiss. I don't let what others do get to me and it doesn't bothers me because I know he isn't going stray nor is going leave me but I know he looks at other women and I must admit that I look at other guys but that is all that is done looking and that is human nature.

Be secure in the relationship that the two of you share. Be honest with your girlfriend because she might be able to help you with this issue. Also they have many books and websites that can help along the way.

[kissmerotton86]

When someone flirts with my fiance or stares a little too long I simply holds his hand or give him a kiss. I don't let what others do get to me and it doesn't bothers me because I know he isn't going stray nor is going leave me but I know he looks at other women and I must admit that I look at other guys but that is all that is done looking and that is human nature.

Be secure in the relationship that the two of you share. Be honest with your girlfriend because she might be able to help you with this issue. Also they have many books and websites that can help along the way.

Do you know the websites? I'd like to check them out, thanks for the advice too. I just need to be more positive that she isn't going to run away with people who hit on her.

[kissmerotton86]

Its one thing to have feelings like that. Its an entirely different think to act on them. Practice not acting on them, and work on the underlying cause of those feelings.........FEAR, that leads to anger, and everything else just follows. Trying something you can do, and succeed at, and setting small goals for yourself, can raise your self esteem, and help you deal with the fear. What do you do when you have free time to yourself??

Also, and be honest with yourself, does your partner feed that insecurity and fear with her behavior??

Its hard to keep goals when I'm upset. Like going to the gym to stay fit. I have things I do for hobbies like guitar, writing, and just bought a bmx bike so I could learn. But when I'm upset I can't do anything, not eat or work or function at all. I feel like I have no control over myself. Thanks for your advice on taking a step at a time by not acting on my emotions. That is good advice because it seems more achievable.

[Jlesnik33]

I have a girlfriend and that actually sort of happened to me. Where I felt like people where flirting or hitting on her, and it made me feel so upset and out of place. And one day I thought to myself that she comes home to me every night, she calls me when she has free time from work or school, she tells me that I'm the one she loves.

I think of it as when someone hits on my girlfriend, I no that I have something special and everyone else could see it.

My girlfriend handles it different which might also work for you, when someone hits on me she comes out and says to me don't they know your mine and I don't know how to share. We always make sure we talk about anything that makes us jealous, because if your better half sees what makes you feel uncomfortable you could work it out as a team. Then they know for the future and you don't have to make yourself distant.

Don't hold it in it just makes everything worse. I learned that one the hard way

[Jlesnik33]

And if you love her and she loves you.. baby its all about trust!