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tonysgrlaz · Feb 20, 2009, 09:43 AM

My son started midle school this year and he is changing.. in different ways. He's maturing, but also acts very immature. He's my only child and I guess it's just puberty, or the change of schools. He used to confide in me about everything, not anymore, he's very secretive now. He is very emotional now too. One day he feels he's king of the world and the next he says everyone hates him. I want to cry for him. I try to explain what these years are going to be like from my own experiences and he says I don't know anything. One day is a good day then he 's grouchy and weepy and angry, then he's back to happy. Elementary school was so much easier for everyone. How can I explain that this is normal... anyone else having the same problems with their child?

dumby · Mar 18, 2009, 01:49 PM

Hey I am a 14 year old, and I usud to feel the same way. Just tell your son that he is just going thruogh puberty, and that even that he feels like he is the oly person that goes through that he is way wrong, everybody goes through it and they just keep it to themselves, even if they say they don't. If that doesn't work point out the good qualities that he has, and tell him that your his parent and that you care. Hope this helps

JTnumber3 · Mar 18, 2009, 04:05 PM

That is perfectly normal for kids ages 12 - 18. It resembles the beginning of ones teenaged years where they would hide secrets and to change their appearance such as looks and having different moods.

There are certain outcomes in your case. Your son may be a bit stressed since he is starting middle school, which is completely different from elementary such as no recess and no snack time. Another is your son may be having problems at school like homework or bad tests grades or other kids bullying him. It would be normal and very difficult for your son to act that way if he went to a different school where he doesn't know anyone else or moved to a different city or town.

Your son won't be talking to his parents very often about their personal life because it may seem embarrassing such as talking about sex, drugs, masturbation, and so on.

It is best to not put any pressure on your son except for trying to do well in school. He's facing a different environment and its all apart of growing up. Since you're a parent, you should know how it feels since your were once a teenager too ;)

Also make sure he is NOT ON ANY DRUGS, that could definitely change his mood and his outlook on things in life. It is best to give him room to explore things (besides drugs).

Don't worry you will be facing this for when he gets into high school also. Take it easy, every person opperates differently.

Take Care. P.S. I am a 16 Year Old Boy and Ive acted in various ways when I was younger to get attention or to show I am "cool", "tough" and not an outcast.

tonysgrlaz · Mar 18, 2009, 09:39 PM

Wow... for 16 you're very intelligent... as is the other person who answered my question Dumby.
I know for sure he's not on drugs... he is just trying to fit in and yet still be himself and he's finding it hard. He has a lot of bully's at school and he hates it there. He's very athletic, into every sport, very handsome too. A lot of the stronger bigger kids tease him because he doesn't act like a jerk and bully other kids around like they do. He keeps saying Mom it's puberty!! He knows and I don't!! I just liked it when he was my little innocent beautiful baby boy, and he's not anymore. I refuse to see him hurt for any reason. Well I'll wait and see how the last 2 months of 6th grade go, then it's on to 7th...

rayncoffee · Mar 18, 2009, 10:47 PM

Well I was one of those kids who was moody in middle school and high school. My parents had no clue what to do with me.. they finally decided to just leave me alone... then I got into trouble, did drugs and so on.. later once I turned 18 and moved out and into a close friend's house I went to the doctor.. the doctor asked me all sorts of questions ran some test and decide all my mood swings weren't normal I was/am bi polar.. and now I'm 23 and have been on meds since I was 19.. it took a few tries to figure out what medicine was best for me but after that I'm doing so much better... I went from crying one minute to being happy and bouncy than mad and hateful in a blink of an eye.. I'm not saying your son is but not all mood swings are normal and I would hate for your son to go down the path I did... I'm in a great marriage of almost 3 years ands and planning on trying for our first child at the end of this month.. I'm a supervisor at toys r us. It may not apply here but please think about it.. some meds to talk to your son's doctor about if it applies is lamictal, ablify, seraquel and if none of those work lithium which is what I'm on.. well good luck and I wish you all the best...

tonysgrlaz · Mar 19, 2009, 07:26 AM

Thank you for your response... he does have ADHD, has been diagnosed with that since he was 5. He's on meds and I think sometimes it's the meds that make him moody. I always tease him and say he needs midol for his pms. I think it may just be the hormones kicking in and he is almost 13. Thank you for your reply and I wish you continued success in your future and hope you have many children in you and your wife's future.

dumby · Mar 19, 2009, 09:18 AM

[QUOTE=tonysgrlaz;1613302]Wow... for 16 you're very intelligent... as is the other person who answered my question Dumby.
I know for sure he's not on drugs... he is just trying to fit in and yet still be himself and he's finding it hard. He has a lot of bully's at school and he hates it there. He's very athletic, into every sport, very handsome too. A lot of the stronger bigger kids tease him because he doesn't act like a jerk and bully other kids around like they do. He keeps saying Mom it's puberty!! He knows and I don't!! I just liked it when he was my little innocent beautiful baby boy, and he's not anymore. I refuse to see him hurt for any reason. Well I'll wait and see how the last 2 months of 6th grade go, then it's on to 7th...

Well first off thank you for the compliment, and second f all if it is just bulling then tell him to just ignore them. And if he gets into a fight with any of them, tell him that he should at least punch them 1 good time in the nose, and to make sure that they bleed. Most bullys act all big and tuf until YOU make THEM bleed for once. The reasn that I say that is because I used to get picked on all the time, and I HATE violens, hope this helps

tonysgrlaz · Mar 19, 2009, 01:57 PM

Thank you again... he got picked on in elementary school by a gang of boys.. my husbnad said punch the leader of the group right in his chin and he did and they never bothered him again. I don't condone fighting or violence, but self defense is a whole different story. He's a happy go lucky kid into all sports... I hope he reads all these other middle school kids remarks and sees he's not the only one feeling the way he does. Thank you again!

jerieischillin · Jul 9, 2009, 10:58 AM

That's what happened to me,but that was because I let people judgment get to my head and I let them get the best of me,but I learned the hard way

marines476 · Jun 22, 2010, 05:23 AM

Well if there's any other meds like Dulcolax(which I took) or something as basic as tylenol they can have side effects of modd swings so check the doctor on ADHD meds and ask for another brand or less dosage it can significantly change his mood swings or his Hormones are at very high levels. When I was 12 I would cry for no reason then laugh at the slightest second I felt okay. Hope this helps