[pretty_aesthetics]

Hi hi,
I have always been a little angry and moody, but lately I have gone through the roof and I am saying things and reacting in ways I wish I wouldn't. When I lose my temper I go blank and I don't think, I lose total control of myself, instead of talking which I mean to do, I yell, loudly. For some time it feels like I have 3 emotions, sad, angry or blank. Usually when I am angry I can just walk away or laugh it off but if someone makes me angry, I get hostel. I love my boyfriend but lately I've been cold hearted and "neglectful". And when he makes me mad I stay mad for days, or say really hurtful things. In 5 minutes my mood will change from content, to very angry to depressed.
Is there anyone who can help me control my mood swings or tell me what's wrong with me? I'm so desperate I feel like I'm crazy.

[rankrank55]

I used to be like that, sort of. I had an extremely bad anger problem that truly needed medical attention. After seeing a doctor it really helped me out a lot! I started on medication and gradually weened myself off that while practicing anger management skills. You really have to learn to control your mind and not let that anger take you over... it's hard. When you feel mad... WALK AWAY!

[Wondergirl]

Visit your doctor and explain this to him like you did to us. If he doesn't want to treat you, make sure he refers you to a good psychiatrist who will probably prescribe meds to help regulate your moods. These won't be taken the rest of your life, so just roll with it for a while. Ask the psychiatrist to refer you to a reputable counselor who works with clients who have anger management problems. This too won't be forever. The counselor will help you set goals to keep you from being so hostile and to be aware of what things set you off and how to handle them. Learning all the anger management tricks will even out your life. Eventually you will be able to be weaned off the meds.

[pretty_aesthetics]

Is there any methods you can tell me that would help me to control it, cause I'm completely lost? Thanks a lot

[Wondergirl]

Read this site for ideas --

Controlling Anger Before it Controls You

[rankrank55]

That really is a good website! Many of the things listed on there are methods I have tried. My favorate thing to do is guttural breathing; take a deep breath so that it fills up your stomach and hold it there for 4 seconds then release it slowly.

[Wondergirl]

Also, a sure-fire cure is to email me every time you feel angry. Each email will be a 500+-word story that you will compose. That will keep you too busy to be angry and may turn you into a bestselling author!

[pretty_aesthetics]

The thing about that is, when I'm angry it's like reasoning doesn't exist so if I have to think about something it'll just make me more angry. And if I'm not angry about nothing then I'm angry while playing soccer, today I kicked the ball at a spectators head who made me angry and people thought I was crazy.. it's not cool.

[rankrank55]

I know how you feel and it's not easy! You should really see your doctor ASAP; he/she will help a lot!

[Wondergirl]

You must have a Dennis Rodman Complex. How badly do you want to fix this?

[pretty_aesthetics]

There is NO WAY that I would be able to see my doctor, my parents would never go for that. I don't know what a dennis rodman complex is, and I would like to fix it but I doubt I will be able to also it's not just being angry , it's going up and down in my moods all the time.

[Wondergirl]

How old are you, and why would your parents not "go for that"? (Dennis Rodman was a Chicago Bulls basketball player who had anger management problems during games and got suspended and fined every now and then. If you have never heard of Dennis Rodman, you must be very young.)

[rankrank55]

Have you talked with your parents about this? I'm sure they would understand more than you think.

[pretty_aesthetics]

Lol I'm seventeen and have never followed basketball in my life. I think my parents have a "suck it up attitude" and I'm very good at "sucking it up" when I told them how moody I was and how it is a problem they told me that "you can't get medication for everything" (I don't have medication for everything in case that seems like I do) and that was the last of it. It took months for my parents to take me to the doctor when I had an ulcer so something not physical is going to be really difficult.

[Wondergirl]

There's no way you could get to a doctor on your own? You don't drive? You don't have a friend who drives? You live in Outer Siberia?

[rankrank55]

Well... you could print this post out and show it to them. Wondergirl and I have both suggested that it would be best for you to see a doctor. This behavior is unhealthy for you and the people around you.

[pretty_aesthetics]

if I go to the doctor my parents would need to go because there's no way that whatever he recommends I will be able to pay for and it would need to be covered by my parents insurance or else I'm sh*t out of luck. My parents know I have a temper, I just don't think they'll see it as a problem. =/ also that my family isn't really close so bringing up an emotional problem is awkward and embarrassing.

[Wondergirl]

Don't you have any spending money? A doctor visit shouldn't cost more than $50, probably less, especially once he finds out why you are there. You are using your parents' attitude as an excuse to do nothing about this.

[pretty_aesthetics]

I have no spending money. It's not that I don't want to do anything, I'd just like it to be away from the doctors.

[Wondergirl]

You have NO spending money? At 17 back in the Dark Ages, I worked at an IGA store and had spending money. Hmmmmm...

Then, since you want to avoid medical help (grrrrrrrrrrr), read through that site whose link I posted earlier and get busy with the anger management techniques. Report back every evening for the first week to tell us how they are working for you. Then we will determine how serious you really are about helping yourself.