[suddenImpact]

My x and I separated last August, and she took our daughter. I pay her roughly $400 a month child support (between her job and what I pay, she brings home almost twice what I do now). I've been OK with paying child support, but whenever I watch my daughter, I ask her to make sure I have diapers... I take care of food, juice, toys, and everything else she needs.

I work first shift, and my x works second, so basically she has her during the day, and I have her at night, and then we alternate on weekends. Well, now she is starting to complain that she has to supply diapers for my house, and saying that its my responsibility when I have her. Technically, since I have her as much as I do (the same amount, if not more than she does, because she goes to college too, so her parents babysit a lot), I don't think I should even be paying child support, I think we should both just pay for what she needs at our own house. Am I wrong for thinking that way?

I don't necessarily want to file for custody, because I still have my daughter a lot, so it don't matter if she legally is mine. That, and my x gets breaks on college tuition for being a single parent, and I want her to be able to get through school. Is there something I can do though so at least as long as things keep going how they are, neither of us pay child support?

I also should mention, that she has to be to her job at 4pm, so I cut my hours at work to be able to leave at 3:30 so that she didn't have to find a babysitter for that time. So in a way, I'm being a babysitter for free, losing money at work because of it, and still paying her the same amount in support.

I have no clue where to even start with anything for this.

Thanks for your help!

[this8384]

Do you have a court order for child support or is the $400/month something the both of you agreed upon? If you went to court already, the court should have addressed custody at that time. If custody and visitation rights haven't been established, you need to file immediately. Otherwise your ex is free to take off in the middle of the night with your daughter and you can't do anything about it.

[suddenImpact]

It did go through the courts for the child support, but nothing was agreed upon for visitation. I'm not even sure where to start to file for joint custody though :(

[this8384]

That doesn't seem right. The courts usually address custody, visitation & support all at the same time. I'd go over your paperwork again.

[suddenImpact]

I don't know how any of it works... I no longer have any of the paperwork, or at least don't know where it is. It was all mis-placed when I moved. All I know, is I went in, they asked what I made an hour, and if I had insurance, then gave me a number that I was going to pay a month. The whole thing took about 5 minutes.

[Justwantfair]

You need to go down to the courthouse and first get copies of your paperwork.

With my son, they set child support without any rights to visitation. Joint custody in Illinois child support is effected by joint custody, but you have to have a joint custody order. With joint custody it is determined by BOTH parties income. 20% of mother; 20% of father, whatever the difference is, is paid to the opposite parent. So if father is earning more he is still paying some child support to keep the homes equal for the child.

I do believe that if you have the child half of the time, you should be suppling for ALL needs at your house as well. You may need to file for your parenting plan and a reevaluation of child support based on the change of circumstance.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, child support is given to the primary custody person, ( so if there is joint custody both legal and phsycical) there should not be that much child support, merely einough to balnace income for child care.

And as you agree on child support you also do a parenting plan, where you agree or the court orders what holidays each get, what weeks in summer each have or don't have, and when each gets the child.

It sounds like if there was one, it was not a joint physcial custody, may a joint legal custody with the other parent having primary physcial. But that is just a guess from the child support order

[cdad]

What state is this in ? If this were California it could almost be considered full custody on your part because they only count overnights.

[suddenImpact]

I am in Michigan. I've talked to a couple people around here, and they are telling me I can't just go to the courts to file for joint custody, I have to write a letter explaining why I want it, and why I deserve it basically. Any one know if that is true?

[this8384]

Not as far as I'm aware. To my knowledge, you have to go to court, file the paperwork, they'll schedule a hearing, etc. Even if just writing a letter would work, they're still going to have a hearing on it and let your ex argue why she doesn't think it's a good idea.

[suddenImpact]

Well, I guess that's what I'm going to do Friday then :) Do I go down to the normal court house, or do I have to go through Friend of the court... or are they the same thing lol.

[Justwantfair]

Sudden, take a peak around.

http://courts.michigan.gov/scao/self...tody_help.html

[suddenImpact]

Couldn't open the link... but I'll look around on courts.michigan.gov and see if I can find it. Thanks for the tip!

[Justwantfair]

Ensure that you accurately write down what your current visitation schedule is like. As this progresses your ex will probably alleviate some or most all of your time.

[Justwantfair]

Changing a Child Custody Order Self Help

[suddenImpact]

For the last two months, I've been keeping track of all the time I have my daughter on my calendar, figuring as soon as I file, she will try to stop how much I have her so won't stop getting my money.

[Justwantfair]

Any updates?

[suddenImpact]

Not yet, If I can get out of work early enough today, I'm going to try to make it to the court. Hopefully :)

[Justwantfair]

Good luck, sooner the better ;)