[Aprille]

:confused:Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 1/2 years now and have a baby. In my heart I no longer want to be in this relationship because I feel he is not the guy I thought he was. He has changed so much over the time I've known him. He has become verbally hurtful and I feel so insecure about myself because of things he has done in the past. It would be much easier decision if a baby wasn't involved. I have grown attatched to my boyfriend but I know I could eventually get over him. I want to stay with him because of my babies sake, it's not fair on his part, he doesn't deserve this, I feel so horrible. If only my boyfriend wasn't so damn into himself, I would find him checking out females and lie about it, and later admit to it. When we would separate he would go and talk to all his "girlfriends" and chit chat with them. Just everything to hurt me but not "intentionally". I feel that I am not his type either, looks wise. I see the people he would hang out with, past girlfriends, people he would check out etc. that's why I'm so insecure.. what should I do?

[kctiger]

Will raising your child in an unstable, uncomfortable, verbally abusive household do any good?

Probably not. Leave, for the sake of the baby, as environment has a lot to do with how children perceive things.

[Justwantfair]

To be a good mother you have to be self-confident and strong, you now have a younger person looking up to you for direction.

What type of message will you give your impressionable baby - that it's OK for men to treat women without respect and verbally abuse and break their self-esteem? Or would you like your child to be strong, self-confident and treat others with respect. A baby/child will learn all of his answers from you and him as his parents, what kind of answers do you want to give?

Don't allow yourself to be treated cruelly. Never allow yourself to be taken for granted, it doesn't take much for one person to show appreciation to another. Do what is right to put your baby first, not a relationship that won't be healthy for the child.

Good luck to you and God bless.

[Fr_Chuck]

You never stay "for the child" you should have course always try very hard, including counseling and other attempts to make it work before calling it quits.

And you need to share being a parent and not allow your feelings for him get in the way of a relatonship he may have with the child.

[liz28]

It's good that your thinking about your child but do you think it would be in your child best interest to stay. Kids pick up on things easily so do you want your child to see you being mistreated by the father? Staying will only do more harm then good and you deserve better.

Don't ever let a guy lower your self-worth and esteem. When you see a guy doing this you leave after you speak your peace.

Leaving him doesn't stop him from being a father and if he doesn't want to be or stop after you leave, file for child support because he has a fiancial obligation to that child regardless if he chooses to be in that child's life.

Move and on and take care of yourself and build yourself up and take care of your child.

[talaniman]

Get some child support, and get a job, and build a life that you enjoy and raise that child in a happy, healthy, environment.