[brettdanks]

I have been living with my boyfriend for 8 months, dating over a year. He says he knows he wants to marry me but he is afraid. I don't want to be to sit around forever and wait until his fear subsides, I have it myself! I feel like he has all the control because he knows I want to be married. His last relationship was bad because she cheated, but in the end he cheated on her and ended it all. They were together 14 years and it was hard for him to let go even after he knew about her cheating. He says he cheated in the end to let it all go. I feel that life is short and I myself have been through the same thing but don't want it to ruin what we could have together!! With that said , I also don't want to spend my life waiting on him not making a commitment!! He has been dishonest with me a few times and that freaks me out!! I have become distrusting because he lied to me and I feel bad because I know people lie. We all do. Point is I don't lie to him about things cause I'm ready to move forward. I believe in God and his purpose in my life and I'm getting so upset about this situation! Any christian advice would really help me!! Must add, I live with him and if I have to leave I have no place to really go!!

[JoeCanada76]

You have been dating each other for a year. Also living together for 8 months.

May I ask what exactly did he lie to you about? It sounds to me that both you and him have had your own bad experiances in relationships. Do you both love each other?

Have you truly talked to him about what is he afraid of? Heart to heart. You both need to be open to counseling for each other. Marriage is a big step and I know what your saying about not wanting to wait forever. Sit down and explain to him how you feel. Then listen to what he has to say..

You also need to remember that marriage or being committed with each other does not necessarily mean a piece of paper. Or the ceremonies.

Do not just stay with him because you will not have a place to go to if that happens, but quite honestly there are always always places you go if you feel that you can not continue this relationship. Of course, this is up to you. Patience and understanding and compromise is very important in a relationship and these are the things that you need to do if you want it to work. Remember it is not in YOUR TIMIMG, BUT IT IS GODS TIMING. You may want certain things to happen right away but it is not necessarily the right thing right at this moment. Give yourself some peace and quiet and down time and pray to God for a resolution. For answers and wait patiently for an answer. We all have choices to make and there is never any guarantee of anything so please treasure every moment you have together.

[2tonearmy]

It seems that you may be pushing the situation a little too much. I mean, if you are both scared of taking the next step, is it really a healthy decision?
Maybe think over the aspects of marriage you're scared about.and then talk it over with him, and see what his views are on the situation.
Communication is the key, without good, healthy communication, NO relationship no matter much love it possesses, will last.


Best of luck to you.