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    Lytishia_Glover's Avatar
    Lytishia_Glover Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 4, 2009, 06:01 PM
    I'm falling into a doward spiral
    My Dad neglected me when I was a small child. He never talked to me or even tried but then when my step-dad came into the picture he all of a sudden wanted to talk to me. But through out my life he has drifted away again without me doing anything to cause it. All my life I've been put last. My older brother was the 1st born so he gets everything. So I've found the only way I can make myself feel better about being neglected and not wanted is I use him to get money. Is it Really wrong?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Feb 4, 2009, 06:06 PM
    Went through twice.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Feb 4, 2009, 06:11 PM

    It is not good to use somebody to get money.
    If he is in your life enough that you can use him then it seems to me you should have some opportunity to turn your relationship into something better. Do you talk and tell him how you feel neglected and suggest some constructive ways that you could get closer.
    You need to grow up and be independent and not rely on him and your relationship to make you or break you.
    To feel that he is the problem is basically being co-dependent and maybe you should get involved with a group that teaches about not being co dependent.
    Many successful people became successful because they felt they needed to prove something to their parents because they grew up feeling neglected or put down. So it is up to you to decide are you going to let the neglect defeat you or use it to motivate yourself to prove you can be something with or without him?
    Stop using him. Two wrongs don't make a right and you are not fixing anything this way.

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