[samanta20099]

Hi I am samanta, I just had a terrible break off 6 months back,the guy was 4 years younger to me ,we use to love each other like mad,I know he sacrificed his sleep for me lot many times and loved me so much but 2nd year of relation I could feel that relation was becoming very charmless, even I was too busy with my job couldnot make out that relation would reach to brk off phase.I caught him on chat sites flirting with girls,which he was sorry about, later I could hear that he is dating with other gals and is even physically involved.when I asked him the reason he said that he feels suffocated and wants to come out of it and forget me.I was broke and told him even I will look for someone and tried to make him jealous and was off and on contact for 3 weeks.But I realised I can not live without him andx truly love him ,I tried contacting him again forgetting watever he did to me,I found out that he is still single ,he behaved as if I never existed for him .I kept on chasing him for 3 months but he like a stone hearted man never reverted to my messages and mails.I kept on crying day and night.I was in a shock and my parents asked me to get married,I said yes but my heart knows the day I was getting married my heart was crying from deep inside.what was my fault? Now... I m little over with it ,my husband lives in other country (due to some business project) andx its not even month that we have married ,I respect my husband and can never cheat on him.But I want to once punch hard on that guy's face ,but next moment I think I still love him and can not hurt him.I know you all will advice me to move on anxd forget it,but I know that's not possible.and not possible I'm sure.Now I still talk to him on Facebook with a fake id.but he thinks somewa it cudx be me and talks to me a formal manner and like a stranger.well I don't know what to say,what to do so many times I tried to end myself but ,wats the point with me now my husbands life is attached and I have to live for him.is there any way I can be frndly with him through that fake id ?which he thinks its me.I don't want to patch up with him ,as no point doing now.but want to end this relation with healthy note,I don't want to carry this feeling being loser ,being just friend and pryaing for him and his happiness would be enough for me.

[talaniman]

Since your married, cut the deceptions, and focus on your own life, and cut all contact with this fellow.

You're the cause of most of your problems, and should have taken the hint a long time ago, and left the guy alone.

Do so now.

[zeeniee]

I think you should take this marriage as a new opportunity for you to do things for you and get to know your husband well in time. That would be fair to your husband and to you as well.

You never know it could all really just work out with time.

Take all your strength and faith and start applying it to your new life.

With the ex- well he is a ex- and he does not sound like he treated you very well and so I think it is time to let him go and leave him in the past, where he should be.

[samanta20099]

That's right and even I agree to this I love and respect my husband a lot..! But what to do with this feeling of being loser! I just felt bad.. and ignorant feeling as if he kicked me.. infact I should I have done that.. I didn't get my share to kick him back..! So I just want to take revenge..!

[artlady]

Holding on to the past is only going to cause you more pain.

You stand to achieve nothing from this except false hope that can go no where.

You need to try to make your marriage work and you may find that you can be happy.

Some people do learn to love over time and hopefully if you give an effort you can have that as well.

You respect your husband and you would not cheat on him but you are cheating on him emotionally.

As long as you are doing that there is no hope you will ever find happiness with your husband.You are cheating yourself out of
the hope for happiness.

You should cut all ties with the x and learn to adjust to your new life and try to create a new life,with new potential.

[talaniman]

The best revenge is being happy with your life now, and let go of that past BS!

[samanta20099]

Thanks guys! You are right! And I'm going to delete that fake id too... but I just wanted to teach him a lesson so that he may not fool any other girl this way.. it hurts.. I know... I couldn't eat sleep because of all pain he gave me.. I cried over... and while sleepig I still recall when I use to getup at mid night hr all of sudden and bustd in tears... and just asked god that why it happened with me ,why did he broke my heart and slept with other gal,may be his interest in me was fading with time.why it happened with me when I had a heart like no other. I cry over every sad thing I see on TV or read in the paper, I stop for every homeless person, open doors for every elderly man or woman, I'm good.So just wante to hurt him somehow... I m speaking my heart out don't know hw correct is this... :?

[Alty]

Samantha, you can't force someone to return your feelings, it's just not possible.

He's moved on, you're the one that's stuck in the past. It's not his job to give you closure, you are no longer a part of his life, he's made his choice, you have to let it go.

You're married now, so put all your energy into your marriage. Forget about this guy, live your life, be happy.

[MiSSsy111222]

Hi, all the advice is right on here, focus on your new husband, on your new life with him. Be right to your husband and try to move on from your Ex.

Cut your ex out of your life, and make your new husband the man in your life.

Good luck

[samanta20099]

OK... I ll cut all contacts with my ex... but tell me how can I get love for my husband in my heart I can be his friend.. but its to early for me to love anyone... nd all time I'm sad which he gets pissed of seeing me this way... I still try to hide my tears... I respect my hubby but don't love him.

[MiSSsy111222]

Samanta I think your rushed into this marriage, maybe because of your hurt from your last relationship?

If your new husband is respectful, loving, caring etc your feelings will grow. I know many people who have arranged marriages, my family included. And all I can say is it takes time.