[cinamon2661]

Hi... my name is Michelle, and I need to know if it's possible to get my ex-boyfriend back, it's kind of a long story though with what happened, and I don't think I can get a reliable answer unless you know the whole story. I need an honest answer! So, here is my story:

Me and my ex-boyfriend (his name is Chris, by the way) are both 18-years-old and college freshman. I met Chris at college orientation in June, and I liked him from the minute I saw him. The college was in RI, he's from MA, and I'm from NJ, and we live 6 hours away, so we couldn't see each other until school started, so we talked on the phone all summer - our longest conversation went on for 9 hours. I told him I liked him at the beginning of August, and we started dating pretty much the day we got to school, at the end of August. I was his first girlfriend, and first... well, everything else, if you get what I'm saying, and he was the same for me as well, except I had on not-serious boyfriend for like a month before I met him, but it was mostly a text-message relationship. Anyway, we were very close, and we spent every second of every day and night together. My mom kept calling me and yelling at me and threatening to take me home from school since I missed my first class, so I was very stressed. Me and Chris had a lot of good times together, but I always ended up taking out my stress on him, and it was mainly because a lot of the time he would do something not even big deal, but it made me feel like he didn't love me, and I'm really insecure. But, he told me he loved me all the time and showed it, in many ways, and I love him with all my heart. I know this might sound cheesy, but I really feel we were meant to be together and are soul mates. Anyway, I ended up doing really bad in school, and my mom took me home, and I couldn't go back. He told me he wanted to make the long-distance work, and that he already missed me and that he loved me so much. Thing is, I wanted him to come visit me on New Years, and when he said he wasn't sure he wanted to come, and that his mom wouldn't let him spend the money to come anyway (he's annoyingly close with his parents, and they really bother me), I flipped out on him, and he ended it. I proceeded to beg him for the next month, and told him how much I loved him, and he was the only one for me, and I would change. But, he said I always guilted him into things, and that it was over forever. Then I kept trying to call back and his mom picked up and she told me I couldn't call him any more and to get over it. Thing is, I can't even begin to explain how much I am in love with him - and I know he's in love with me still, I even asked him if he were to give me another chance, and everything worked out, would it be worth it to him, and he said yes, and I could tell he meant it, but he just didn't give me another chance. I miss him every day and every night, and what makes it worse is that I don't think he misses me. I can't even talk to him, and it hurts so much because not only was he my boyfriend, but he was my best friend as well, so I lost the person most important to me in the entire world. Please don't say I'm young and I will find someone else - thing is I don't WANT anyone else. Me and him are meant to be together - don't ask me how I know, I just do. And, I messed it up big time, and I want to know if there's any chance of us ever being together again. I really need him in my life.

(P.S. I'm sorry this was so long, but I needed to give as much of the story as possible, so I can get an honest answer. If you can believe it, this is a VERY brief version. I also probably seem extremely desperate, and well, I kind of am, I won't lie. I hope at least someone will respond... )

[slapshot_oi]

...so we talked on the phone all summer - our longest conversation went on for 9 hours.

God in Heaven, evidently neither of you work.

About two things I am certain: 1) a little less than half of the people you meet at orientation will not be there come graduation time. 2) relationships and college do not mix (usually).

[cinamon2661]

We both had jobs over the summer. I was a camp counselor and he worked at Michael's craft store...

Is there anyone who can tell me whether I have a chance to get back together with him..

[MarkwithaK]

By your own admission you have never had a serious relationship so how in the bloody blue hell can you honestly say that you and this boy are "meant to be together"?
Sounds to me like you have a crush that has turned into an obsession. An unhealthy one at that.

[slapshot_oi]

We both had jobs over the summer. I was a camp counselor and he worked at Michael's craft store...

Is there anyone who can tell me whether or not I have a chance to get back together with him...?

Ha, I know Michael's. Did you guys go to Johnson & Wales?

As far as your question, bear in mind that truly, anything is possible. All things begin and end with you, the tough part is believing it.

And on New Year's, we got hit a ton of snow that night. He had no prayer of making it down to Jersey.

[cinamon2661]

By your own admission you have never had a serious relationship so how in the bloody blue hell can you honestly say that you and this boy are "meant to be together"?
Sounds to me like you have a crush that has turned into an obsession. An unhealthy one at that.

It's just a feeling that I got. And he had it too, until he ended it. He actually told me when we first me that he thought we were soul mates. It was just a really strong connection. And we were very close. He was not only my boyfriend, but my best friend as well.

[cinamon2661]

Ha, I know Michael's. Did you guys go to Johnson & Wales?

As far as your question, bear in mind that truly, anything is possible. All things begin and end with you, the tough part is believing it.

And on New Year's, we got hit a ton of snow that night. He had no prayer of making it down to Jersey.

Nope, we went to Roger Williams University (well, he still goes there, I don't), it's only about an hour away from Johnson & Wales though.

And thank you, you're answer is short, but sweet. It is tough to believe it right now. But, I figure maybe if I change enough (not change myself as a person, I would NEVER do that, but just, you know, get rid of the "psycho-girlfriend"/"drama-queen" vibe?) then with proof he would give me another chance because he does still love me, that much I KNOW.

And oh... I didn't know that. But, it was the fact that he didn't seem to WANT to come that bother me anyway...

[MarkwithaK]

I understand what you are saying and I hate to play the age card but you are both very young and for him to say that not ever having been in a relationship before is just very naïve.

[cinamon2661]

I understand what you are saying and I hate to play the age card but you are both very young and for him to say that not ever having been in a relationship before is just very naive.

I know we're young. But I felt like I knew him already the minute I met him. And, well, honestly, if I hadn't been such a crazy person, I would still be with him. And, if I wasn't lazy, I would still be at college with him instead of community college. But anyway, I guess the only way to know if it's truly meant to be is if it ends up working out sometime in the future, however far away it may be.

[slapshot_oi]

Nope, we went to Roger Williams University (well, he still goes there, I don't), it's only about an hour away from Johnson & Wales though.

And thank you, you're answer is short, but sweet. It is tough to believe it right now...

This is one of the mysteries of life. If you read any "enlightened" philosophical or even theological text, they all are based on that one principal. It's simple and it makes perfect sense, you only know the world through your eyes and how you interpret it is how it will be.

Roger Williams was my second guess a quaint, liberal arts school. Do you still go to college?

[liz28]

The real answer of learning how to get your ex back is to realize that they were never "yours" in the first place. Yes, you probably have shared your inner most secrets with them. You both have created countless memories together but you can't and shouldn't want someone that doesn't want you back. And regardless of what you do you can't win someone back that doesn't want to won back.

[cinamon2661]

This is one of the mysteries of life. If you read any "enlightened" philosophical or even theological text, they all are based on that one principal. It's simple and it makes perfect sense, you only know the world through your eyes and how you interpret it is how it will be.

Roger Williams was my second guess a quaint, liberal arts school. Do you still go to college?

Yeah, that seems to make sense. Which is why I'm going to try to have a more positive outlook... even though that is extremely difficult.

And yes, I'm going to Brookedale, the community college for now to bring my GPA up, and then I will probably transfer somewhere

[cinamon2661]

The real answer of learning how to get your ex back is to realize that they were never "yours" in the first place. Yes, you probably have shared your inner most secrets with them. You both have created countless memories together but you can't and shouldn't want someone that doesn't want you back. And regardless of what you do you can't win someone back that doesn't want to won back.

Thing is, the only reason he broke up with me were because of negative qualities, he still loves me. If I can improve those qualities, I figure that maybe he doesn't want to date me right now, but he WILL if I can show him that I truly have changed...

[samijo12]

Honey, by your own admission, you do appear to have some serious problems - firstly just because he has a great relationship w/ his parents you seem to resent that--you will not come between a man and his parents (if their relationship is a good one). You apparently treated him badly (by your own admission), and you need to get yourself straightened out - period. WHY did you do poorly in school? Were you too messed up about this boy and what he was doing to focus? I hate to say it, but no, you are mostly likely not going to get him back - if however you are 'soul-mates', well, regardless of age, then the love will find a way. That being said, try to move on; stay busy, and study (I hope you are back in school!) Deal with yourself and your issues (you already know what they are because you told us) before you even think of entering into another relationship. - Good luck!

[talaniman]

At the rate your going, he will hate you.

Instead of getting him back, straighten out the other parts of your life, and get your act together.

Since your not good with hints the answer to your question is No, its not possible to get him back, because you acted badly, and treated him like crap. Who wants that in their life?

Leave him alone.

[sully123]

Cinamon, nothing is going to change how you feel about him. All the beggging in the world isn't going to change things. For right now you have to let things be, no matter how hard it is for you. Stressing about, and not moving forward isn't healthy. Your young and you will meet new people. LOL, I know Brookdale Community College, in Lincroft, which is about twenty minutes from my house. Concentrate on yourself, and your studies, if he cares at all for you, he will call you in time. But don't lower yourself to this guy, your not desperate. Sometimes things work out, and sometimes they don't, we have all been through it. But by no means, don't put your life on hold for him.. Good luck.