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feellost · Jan 20, 2009, 06:51 PM

My fiancée' of 10 years had an affair, she called me many times so that's s how I found out about them cheating behind my back. He was shocked when I confronted him, but he did admit with guilt.

They ended the affair and we have had a better relationship and we can talk, but she continues to call both of us after we have told her no contact, no texting on his cell and no emails.

She denies ever calling me at all to him. She says she does not have my phone number, cell number and also does not know my last name. So they still talk cause he thinks the truth will come out, is this an excuse or what?

jjwoodhull · Jan 20, 2009, 06:55 PM

Yes it is an excuse. Sorry, but he is a cheater and a liar. Why have you been engaged for 10 years? If he hasn't married you yet, he's not going to. Move on.

feellost · Jan 20, 2009, 07:02 PM

We have been together 10 years and we have been only engaged since 2003. He says we need money for the wedding and then sometimes he is not sure, he says he really loves me and cannot see me not in his life. He says he does not want to me to leave.

zeeniee · Jan 21, 2009, 04:08 AM

Hi Feellost,

I don't think the affair has been ended- once a person has cheated and lied- they will do it again- they will do it in a smarter way- eventually you will find out.

Please read my post and I think it may help?

With kind regards
Zeeniee

liz28 · Jan 21, 2009, 04:50 AM

No, I don't think so. What are you're your intincts telling you because you should follow them. They never will steer you wrong.

Of course he's unsure whether he wants to marry you because look at what he's doing. Then your allowing yourself to be put in this situation and putting yourself through this unnecessary emotions. The only wrong your doing is putting up with his crap. Well how long do you plan on doing this?

You to do what is right for you. Forget about him and his lies. Do you really need him or are you just settling because you don't want to start over? Because I know deep down you know the truth and know something doesn't make sense. Well if it doesn't make sense than more than likely it's a lie.

talaniman · Jan 21, 2009, 08:20 AM

Sorry but she is trying her best to break you up. Whether the affair is over, I don't know, but you seem to be in denial here as this guy bears watching, and so does his mistress. I don't think you have the whole truth, just what you want to hear.

Romefalls19 · Jan 21, 2009, 08:49 AM

There is a lot to uncover about this story. It seems as there are a lot of parts missing to it. If she is calling you admitting the affair, why not have a 3 way talk and have her clear the air as to what is going on?

As for the person who said that once a person cheats, they forever will. That's not true, I have a friend(literally, it's not me) who cheated on a girlfriend when they first got together and he told her about it, she chose to forgive him and they have been together ever since. He has not strayed since that one time, alcohol was involved but he didn't use it as an excuse. He simply "manned up" and said I did it, I hope you can forgive me and took his punishment.

feellost · Jan 21, 2009, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

There is a lot to uncover about this story. It seems as there are a lot of parts missing to it. If she is calling you admitting the affair, why not have a 3 way talk and have her clear the air as to what is going on?

As for the person who said that once a person cheats, they forever will. That's not true, I have a friend(literally, it's not me) who cheated on a girlfriend when they first got together and he told her about it, she chose to forgive him and they have been together ever since. He has not strayed since that one time, alcohol was involved but he didn't use it as an excuse. He simply "manned up" and said I did it, I hope you can forgive me and took his punishment.

She tells my fiancée that he does not have my number, she won't admit that she even calls me, he works graveyard, so when he is asleep she calls me on my cell. He took my cell now to work hoping she does call one morning, has not happened in a week. He says they talk only because she calls him, but I checked his bill and he has called her, he says she cornered him into talking, I am so in love with him, I do not want to break up, but I wish she was out of the picture, she knows we are together, everyone says she is trying to break us up. He even admits he knows she has called since I know too much.