[xxbabyblueeyes]

This may look long but please someone give me some advice. I first met my ex off a popular website myspace. He had just graduated from my high school but I never knew he existed or that he was good friends with one of my best friends tara. We begain talking on instant messenger and really hit it off. He always said how he wanted to know everything about me. I knew I was interested in him , I just didn't know how much. HE came into my job one evening when we first met. We spent a few hours talking and when I went to give him a hug goodbye he kissed me. Words can't even describe how good I felt. We eventually hung out when he asked me out. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with him.things were great for the first 2 months.We found out that he had to move to Florida for flight training( he's becoming a pilot) and his family was moving there too.HE said we would try it out. But after that things started to go downhill. He took me off his aim profile which to me looked like a big deal. He would call me when it was convienent to him. Sometimes I wonder if I ever called him once at night if I would ever speak to him. We had many fights often because of his attitude or stupid things. We almost broke up a few times but every time it got to that point we wanted to continue to try. One day he would be sweet to me then next he would be blah it drove me crazy. Eventualyl after many good days and bad days we broke up 4 months later. I was devastated. He continured to IM me everyday we even spoke on the fone a few times keeping a friendship.sometimes he would be all flirty when others he told me he didn't see me more then a friend. We hung out once to see a movie , it was a little akward but we ended up kissing, but it didn't mean much to me. Another night I went mini golfing with him , me my friend and his 2 friends. We had the best night . WHen we got home that night he told me how good I have been looking since we broke up and how we got along so well that night that he thinks if we tried again it would work out. But of course it was too late. We hung out a few more times. And our last one was July 4th. We were both drinking but neither of us were drunk. I pretended to be more then I was to see what I coud get out of him. We were alone and he told me that he still got nervous when he saw me and that he still liked me. He then left for Florida. We talked online all the time and few phone calls. A few days ago was the last we spoke about our relationship where he continued to tell me that we had different views on how a relationship should be and I was expecting too much from him. Now that I think about it, as you get older your views change. He is 2 yrs older then me. I'm in my last yr of high school and he's in his 2nd yr of college. I regret it all and I told him I did and that I have changed. He doesn't know this but I'm dying to do anything to get him back and show him I can be mature. There is a slim chance he mite come back to live here by himself. But he will be here visiting. What do you think?

[Skell]

OK, I seems like a bit of a mess. Long distance relationship, young, on again off again.
It is very hard to see this relationship working.
Maybe he has another girl in Florida but when he is back where you are he has you.
I don't know but he certainly doesn't seem to be coming across as someone who really wants somehting serious with you.
He is playing games and keeping you where he wants you. Telling you that he still likes you but doesn't want anything.
I'm not sure what advice to give you but I really think you it might be time to move on from this one. That is obviously going to be very hard for you but from what you have written I find it very hard to suggest to you to try and make things work with this guy.
There are just heaps of red flags.

For now you should just enjoy being young. Go out, have fun, meet people. Don't put so much importance in ths guy. There is so much fun there for you to have. Don't worry about a guy that is playing games with you because that seems to be what he is doing!
Good luck and keep us posted please!

[talaniman]

By Skell

for now you should just enjoy being young. Go out, have fun, meet people. Don't put so much importance in ths guy. There is so much fun there for you to have. Don't worry about a guy that is playing games with you because that seems to be what he is doing!
Good luck and keep us posted please!

You are so to the point here, Skell, and I also agree that she is putting way too much importance on this guy. Your advice is excellent!

[LUNAGODDESS]

Kisskissbabyblueeyes…your are in High School …just wait until you get the to college and see the variety of men out there…you will go wild and this past nibble will only be just that a nibble…get over this guy…involve yourself in some volunteer work …mentor to some one much younger than you…visit the museums in your city or go to the city and visit a museum…get over it life is waiting…go and enjoy it!!

[xxbabyblueeyes]

Thank you. I know that's what I have to do . I know it all sounds like a huge mess a lot happened that I didtn bother mentioning. But its OK b.c he knows I'm better off without him . I go out every day I have new prospectives that he knows about . And he sits at home and does nothing because he's too lazy to make new friends. But deep down he really is a good guy. But I can't wait to go to college and meet all these new boys you guys say are out there :)

[J_9]

Look at it this way, you say he is too lazy to make new friends. If you stay with him you will have to stay in this lazy environment. Is this what you want?

[xxbabyblueeyes]

Hello! I have an update for anyone that is interested. When we last left off my ex moved to Florida to pursue his career in Aviation. He is moving rapidly and is coming back to live here in NY this coming summer. He met a new girl that he claims he fell in love with, but they ended shortly after one month. Spencer and I talk every night , with him IMing me or occasional phone calls. We always talk about future plans. I don't know what to do , I'm not sure if I should go back to him. The more people I meet the less they fit my needs nor compare to him. I feel something with him that I can't seem to feel with anyone else I have recently dated. Im not going too far for college so I could come home pretty much whenever I choose. He has told me that I am welcome at his apartment whenever I want. One night online I was saying id feel uncomfortable if I knew he was seeing other girls and he told me that I come first and all the other girls come after me. We along A lot better and we both have noticed. He still calls me baby and shows more interest in my life rather than just his. He often tells me how lucky he is to still have me around and how there's not too many people like me out there.My friends are a little iffy on the situation because of the past and the fact that he rubbed his at the time girlfriend in my face. I believe everyone deserves a second chance but that might be just b.c I'm in love with him. I don't know, this entry is all scrambled b.c I can't quite explain the situation. I want to know if he still wants me , if it seems as if he is going to follow through and come back to me? Right now I'm playing hard to get kind of "dissapearing" to see what happens. I want to know how to get him to realize that everything he's looking for.. is right in front of his face. HELP please :(

[Allheart]

Hi xx, sorry to say, not much has changed from your last post. For your own good go back and read the indredible advice above. Reread it.

Oh my, he said your First and the others come after you?? How can you possibly think that is a good thing? XX it's not.

Please go back and read the other's advice, it is dead on.

You are young and should be happy and enjoying yourself and not having someone tell you, you are first... there will be a day, when that special someone will not tell you are first, but that you are THE ONLY one for him. See the difference.

Not go on and read the others advice... again.

[Skell]

Hi xx, sorry to say, not much has changed from your last post. For your own good go back and read the indredible advice above. Reread it.

Oh my, he said your First and the others come after you????? How can you possibly think that is a good thing? XX it's not.

Please go back and read the other's advice, it is dead on.

You are young and should be happy and enjoying yourself and not having someone tell you, you are first....there will be a day, when that special somone will not tell you are first, but that you are THE ONLY one for him. See the difference.

Not go on and read the others advice...again.

Allheart this is exactly what I was going to say.

Nothing has changed and the situation you describe here doesn't sound like a healthy one to me.

But you seem hell bent on pursuing things with this guy and I don't think anyone will change your mind.

So tread carefully and do try and remember the advice you have been offered here before!

[talaniman]

he told me that I come first and all the other girls come after me.

What! Oh, you like being number one in the harem? This is not love this is pimpin'! If he's the pimp that makes you his... gardening tool!
And your serious no one can compare to him? You never broke up with him at all, you just gave him a break so he could get some fresh nooky and you where waiting like a puppy dog, tail a'waggin', and now your so happy, until he needs some fresh stuff, but Hey you are #1 in his harem, and that's something, isn't it?