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I need to choose between to men that I love and what's best for my daughter (which is neither of theirs).

I'd been seeing my boyfriend for 2 yrs. We've been through hell but we stuck through it (until recently). But he told me he tried more for the sake of my daughter than for us and that he cares for her more than me. He had refused marriage and the possibility of another child until last night. It was our first real discussion about the future. The problem is that I've been seeing my best friend since we broke up 3 months ago.

My (ex) boyfriend is a closed in diabetic 28yr old; a work-a-holic and video-game addict. But he's witty and honest and loves my daughter. We have some great memories that mask the pain I've felt with him. He was left a house when his grandfather died but it's in shambles, he's no good with finances and again only recently agreed to help me fulfill my dreams of normalcy with a family and agree to help himself be well.

My friend is a very open 23 yr old; he's cried openly to me and we communicate freely and he loves my daughter too. But sometimes he's a little too emotional. He wants a house and family and has money saved and plans for the future. He's stable emotionally and financially where my ex is not.

I love them both but for different reasons and don't know what to do. My daughter loves them both too but the history with my (ex) boyfriend is greatly weighing on my choice. I could have the same things with both men (family and home) but do I choose the man that needs fixing or the man that's already passed that all and is ready for stability? I just don't know what to do.

[Gem07]

Choice A: a man who is addicted to work and video games, says he doesn't love you as much as your daughter, a home in shambles, financially unstable. But he's got a great personality. And he's promised to seek help and give you marriage and children out of fear.

Choice B: a man who communicates openly to the point where it makes you uncomfortable, he saves money, has goals, and is stable.

You're essentially having trouble deciding between an addict and a healthy man. If you choose the addict, you're choosing to be in 4th place (after his work, games, and your daughter). You'd be choosing to take on a big project as far as a man who probably has lots of emotional problems. But when you're with a man like that, you will feel like a savior of sorts. Maybe that's what you want?

With the healthy man, you'd be choosing to be on equal footing with someone who lays his cards out on the table for you. His emotions make you cringe a little because you haven't witnessed that with the ex (he works long hours and zones out in front of the TV instead of crying or talking about his problems).

I can't tell you who to pick because it really depends on what you want in your life.