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    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #1

    Dec 11, 2008, 08:10 AM
    I think I have cold feet
    Me and my fiancé are in a complex military situation that kind of made us push up the date. I'm so nervous. I decide to let out what I think is all the crazy to a bunch of strangers. And less than a week till the day

    What if I get deployed? Will he leave me? It's 9 months to a year with little contact

    Why is adding REST OF MY LIFE so scary to me?

    I'm only 21 I think I'm fairly intelligent but is this a good decision?

    What if I get shot and killed? Would I hurt him more by marrying him?

    I only want us to be happy and healthy :( Am I being a normal nervous bride?

    I think I'm driving my groom semi nuts. He of course is perfectly calm
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #2

    Dec 11, 2008, 08:12 AM

    Do you love him? Are you absolutely crazy about him?
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #3

    Dec 11, 2008, 09:19 AM

    Yes I love him and yea I'm crazy about him
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #4

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:27 AM

    Why have you pushed up the date of your wedding?

    (BTW: your screen name is very similar to a good friend of mine... how did you choose your name? Its not exactly a common one! :) You must love Starbucks coffee, right?)
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #5

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:36 AM

    You caught me on the coffee part. The reason is I'm getting shipped off on January 20th
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #6

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:37 AM
    Also the 21 was because 1-20 was taken
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #7

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:38 AM

    What was your original date and why do you feel that you have to push it up?

    I understand that "shipped off" part - my ex was in Iraq twice when we were together. Its hard, but actually, it made our relationship stronger.

    Cool - I love coffee, too!
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #8

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:42 AM

    September was the original month. And the military is just making it too complex. So this way by pushing it up we can have a few more of the trimmings and more of his family can come
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #9

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:44 AM

    I know it's hard but I just want to be with him. I'm scared of him getting hurt though (like if I die, we divorce, or other military crap). Am I just being normal?
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #10

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:45 AM

    When two people are committed to loving each other for the rest of their lives, NOTHING can come between them. Maintain your commitment and you'll be OK.

    You can't worry about tomorrow, the what-if's of military life, you have to focus on the wonderful love that you share with your fiancee' NOW. Focus on what you love about him, what brought you together, what is going to KEEP you together.

    Don't borrow tomorrows heartaches, because they just may never come. Live today for all its worth... plan, love, live.

    Evaluate why you're in love and why you want to marry him. If those answers are enough to foster the commitment of a long-distance-military marriage, then you're going to be OK.

    If not, then you need to seriously sit down and talk to your man in honesty and forthrightness. Its OK to have cold feet, that's what brides are known for!

    I wish you the best of luck.
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