Check out some similar questions!

dolloflove · Dec 9, 2008, 09:51 PM

Hello. I'm 22 year old woman here who has been with my fiancée for 6 years now. Awhile ago, things in our relationship has changed. We both currently live together and do not have children yet- I noticed he goes out at night and never comes back or even calls me to tell me where he has been. I already have some of my bags packed in the garage so I can get my own place on Friday since I am so fed up with this behavior. I just wanted to know why is he doing all this?

I have a few ideas from looking at his behavior- He has a lot of friends he hangs out with. I mean, when he comes back home I never find any girls numbers so I don't think he is cheating but he always has TONS of guys numbers. He also brings junk home with him like broken TV's, car stereos, batteries, etc and stores them all in our garage which I find absolutely worthless. At this point I am usually upset and ignore him and go to bed early since I wake up every morning at 5am to go to work. He never comes to bed with me though, I thought he would be tired and is up playing playstation, smoking weed, and playing with the worthless toys he brought home for hours. He finally comes to bed at around 4am.

He has a drug problem with meth and I suspect he is using it again. He is not a violent person and every time he gets home he apoligizes and says what a horrible person he is. I ask him why he does this I even tried sitting down and he says he is sad because he does not see his family together anymore (he says he wishes we and his whole family could live together) and upset his father does not always pay him on time but I'm not sure if he is pulling my leg to make me feel bad for him.

I have also tried a number of things- taking him to AA but that doesn't work. I notice when we used to go to church HE STOPPED ALL OF THAT.. maybe God is the only cure? Also, I tried hiding all his pairs of shoes so he doesn't leave but that doesn't work he searches for them everywhere lol.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 9, 2008, 09:58 PM

It appears he made his choice of drugs and buddies over you.

As for the junk, a lot of men bring junk home for future projects

jillrenee15 · Dec 10, 2008, 08:36 PM

Get out and run as fast as you can. This "man" you call a fiancé will probably never change his ways. If you are expecting a good marriage, kids and a family... think again. What would happen to your lives, or your children if he relapsed? Think of your future and your possible children's future. You can't have those things with a person who puts himself first. He needs to get control of himself and grow up. It's time to move on.

ISneezeFunny · Dec 10, 2008, 08:50 PM

You got engaged to him when you were 16?! How old was this guy when he got engaged?

neverme · Dec 10, 2008, 08:58 PM

You should not be engaged to this man he has serious problems and doesn't want to seek help. He just wants to cry about them and let you worry, maybe give you a glimmer of hope that things will change, then let you come crashing down again! Just to let you drag yourself and him out of the gutter so the whole self-hating cycle can start again.

You wouldn't accept this kind of treatment from a family member or friend so why is it that a man that you have 'chosen' to spend your life with can treat you any ol' way he likes?

Leave.

N0help4u · Dec 11, 2008, 06:26 AM

I agree with the others! Been there had it happen too many times!
It NEVER gets better! Leave and make a life for yourself.
Guys like this take you for granted and only think of what they want.
The apology is nothing more than smooth things over so they feel better about it. Not a heartfelt apology. If it was genuine he would be doing something to consider your feelings and change his behavior.