[Senegal_25]

I was needing some advice from people who have dealt with bulimia.

I'm 25 - I briefly had an (undiagnosed) episode of anorexia nervosa when I was 13, and I lost a bunch of weight (I'm 5,10 and I went down to about 110) despite the fact that I was thin to begin with.
I started binging and purging when I was 15 because I had gained some weight back, and I've gone through cycles of bulimia ever since. Usually, I will have periods in which I'm starving myself for quite some time, and then I will binge and purge for a period and go back to the dieting. I always felt at least somewhat in control of it because there have been months every now and then when I hadn't thrown up, and in 2006, I even managed to abstain from it for close to a year. When it started back up, I was purging about once or twice a week, which I still felt like I could deal with, but things have really gotten out of control since May.
I had a very traumatic experience around that time, and I started throwing up almost daily and abusing laxatives to an extent that would be considered very unhealthy. I have not been able to stop as I usually have, and it's really scaring me. I also have gained about 15lbs (I weigh about 130lbs now) because of the increasingly excessive overeating, which is really hard to deal with for me. For the past seven months, I have almost purged daily, and I do not understand why I cannot stop. My insurance will not cover treatment for this (I'm a graduate student, and my husband is in law school), but I really don't feel like I can keep going like this until he finishes law school and gets a job with benefits that will cover treatment.
If there is anyone who has experience with this and has been able to stop in on their own, please let me know what I can do. I DEFINITELY want to see a psychiatrist/counselor for this as soon as I'm on a plan that covers it, but right now, we really cannot afford it. I'm scared that I will mess up my body since the purging has been so frequent, and I don't understand why I cannot stop. My husband knows about it, but he doesn't know how to help me - however, he's very supportive and loves me, which I'm really grateful for.

I'd appreciate any advice from anyone who has been through this. I realize that this is a very serious problem and that it do serious long-term damage to my body, and I really want to stop. What can I do until I can see a specialist without gaining weight?

Thanks.

[ATYOURSERVICE]

This issue is a self esteem issue. It is great that you recognized it and do not like it, but you need to seek help. You need one on one and most likely group session to realize you are not alone.

There are many free or low cost clinic. You do not have to head out to malibu with the celebrities.

[KBC]

Being a student,does the school have any eating disorder studies,psychology/psychiatry classes?

What about any counseling,say student services?

If you truly want help for this,writing does help,but as was said above,therapy and group counseling would be best.Don't make excuses about affordability,that's an easy out for someone in your situation,and it is a part of the anorexia/bulimia.It is a way it(disorder) can defend itself and keep you in it's grip.

If your desire is greater than the illness's grip on you,you can find the assistance you need.

I really hope you can be successful in this fight,I have seen it's devastating effects personally,it isn't a pretty sight in the later stages,stop it now,while you have all your teeth,voice,tongue and taste... etc.

It seems your on the track to becoming a successful, productive member of society.Your health has to be in good shape in order for the training to be any good too.

Get the help you deserve,stop the progression now.

KBC

[excon]

What can I do until I can see a specialist without gaining weight?

Hello S:

I don't know WHY there's a delay... If you want to DO something in the interim, call them up and ask to see him SOONER.

excon

[Choux]

Go to a *12 Step Meeting* in your area that covers bulimic eating disorders. See what they have to offer as far as folks who have made progress against their disorder; you need people at various stages of recovery, not just beginners.

It would be excellent for you to have some support and some understanding during this difficult period. Another wonderful thing is that you can learn at your own level; participate as much or as little as you want. You do have to go to the meetings every week though.

Best wishes,

[Wondergirl]

There is no excuse for not getting help. The county social service department has a sliding scale and can offer very low-cost counseling to you. Many counselors/therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists in private practice have a sliding scale also. Check with Catholic Charities or Lutheran Social Services (and you don't have to be Catholic or Lutheran to take advantage of their services). There are lots of support groups and twelve-step programs in your county. Go to your local public library and ask for the directory of social services for your area. There will be names, phone numbers, email addresses, and street addresses.

Let us know what you found out.