[Bambolicious]

I like my ex boyfriends friend. He always used to flirt with me a bit but he didn't really respond to an email I sent him and he doesn't contact me to meet up. I met him last weekend very briefly he turned up for a mtg with a few friends but said he had to go after 10 minutes. He asked me along with the others if I wanted to go to something that evening and I said maybe but didn't go. I felt to shy to go on my own and he was going with his friends. I couldn't stand it if I asked him out or contacted him again and he didn't reply it makes me feel really bad about myself. We are the same age 37 but usually he goes out with girls much younger early 20's am I deluding myself. What would you do in my situation

[kctiger]

I got to be honest. I wouldn't hook up with any of my ex's friends. I just think that is an unspoken rule. That's just me though. I would find it a bit creepy to be around my ex, only instead of dating her I would be dating one of her friends...

[roxypox]

I'm on the same page as KC on this one. For me it is also an unspoken rule... same as with girls: I would never make a move on or date a guy I know one of my friends liked.

Besides wouldn't it be kind of awkward? Seeing as they are best friends.

I'm not a guy, but isn't it usually a bad sign if the other person ignores the moves you make? (sorry if this is disappointing) besides there is probably some other great guy out there though! :)

[chuff]

Along with the answers above I believe that's why he doesn't take this flirty relationship any further. He knows the rules about dating a friends ex and he's playing by them.

[talaniman]

Forget it!

[starbuck8]

A 37 year old man who is mostly going after 20 yr old girls, and is also your ex's friend, isn't anyone you want to get involved with, unless you are a glutton for punishment!

[asking]

As if all those answers are not enough, your ex's friend is likely to have the same values as your ex, who was abusive. What sets abusers apart are their values--they believe they are entitled to be in charge and entitled to do whatever their partner "forces them to do" to maintain control. This guy was flirty with you because he's flirty with lots of women. He's shown his preference for younger women he can control. Don't go near him.

Learn to love yourself and learn to recognize men who are like your ex. I recommend some counseling with someone who knows something about abuse. (Don't bother with someone who's not familiar with it or who leaves you feeling bad.) Or at least spend some time reading some books about abuse so that you can begin to understand it and recognize it. You are not old. Do not even think that. Take some time to heal before you get into another relationship.