Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    melanie90's Avatar
    melanie90 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 22, 2008, 08:33 AM
    Is it normal to not want to have sex because you feel inexperienced?
    Hey,
    I've been thinking a lot lately. My last relationship lasted two years. I'm quite young and I was raised in a conservative family so it took a while for me to accept having sex with my boyfriend. We broke up shortly after though (for other reasons) but we only had sex about 5 times?
    My problem is that I'm afraid of having sex again. Everyone around me, even my best friends have all slept with at least 5 guys and they always talk about all of the things they do. And now, most guys expect you to put out quite fast and to be up for a lot.
    I'm just scared of my own inexperience. The worse thing is on top of it, that for some reason, people tend to think I'm quite experienced, because I come across as very confident (and it doesn't help that I have a curvy figure either)...
    It's stopping me from dating the guys that ask me out (to be fair I choose them carefully anyway because I wouldn't want to be with a guy for whom that would be an issue) and I get even more freaked out when everyone around me seems to only be talking about sex and the things they've done!

    I'm not sure whehter I have a problem, whether there is anything to do about it but it's eating at me.
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Nov 22, 2008, 09:24 AM

    Try not to get too far ahead of yourself. Relax, accept a date and simply have some fun. Take it slow, get to know the person a little better before you start to worry about the sex. You can always say that you just got out of a bad relationship and you would like to take things a bit slower. If he's an okay guy he'll be okay with that. Get to know each other a bit and everything else will just fall into place.

    As for the stuff your friends have been saying, friends have been known to exaggerate quite a bit. Take care of you and don't listen to too much gossip. Try reading some good books on the subject instead.
    KBC's Avatar
    KBC Posts: 2,550, Reputation: 487
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Nov 22, 2008, 09:24 AM

    You have a whole lifetime to 'get experienced'

    If they(your peers who sleep around) were to say"I jumped off that bridge and it was AWESOME" would you feel like you needed to experience this also?

    Think about this.By not having sex with multiple men,you can officially say;

    1) Your chances of getting an infectious disease has decreased by?

    2) Your chances of getting pregnant have decreased by?

    3) Your learning 'to be more in bed' has yet to be discovered... Whats wrong with that?

    Do you ever read the relationship posts,just at random?Look at the wives,who after 5-8 years into a marriage just don't see the reason to be with their mates any longer?"I am not 'in love' with him any longer"OR "Why is sex not important to him any longer?"

    If this is something you want to experience while still young,go for it.BUT as you stated,your from a conservative family and those morals(vs. peer pressure) are at odds,as they should be.

    My opinion, stay with your feelings,your on the right track,and don't fall prey to the peer pressure ploys,you only think they are enjoying their promiscuity,you don't need to experience it yourself,to be like them,just to prove something,do you?

    In time,MR. Right will be there,and he won't have expectations,he will be teacher and student in the bedroom.That's the truth.

    Hope this helped,

    KBC
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Nov 24, 2008, 04:52 PM

    You don't have to do anything you feel confused and uncertain about...

    There is no reason for you to throw away your healthy and tender sexual impulses and feelings on lecherous high school guys who can ruin you for a long time if you hook up with them. :)

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

I feel good after my breakup. Is that normal? [ 10 Answers ]

Good day everyone! Prior to my previous messages, I was going through a lot of stress and unhappiness with my ex boyfriend. He took me for grated, didn't put me in his priorities even though he said he was... etc. Regardless On Friday when we broke up... I felt good yet very sad... I cried to...

How long did it take YOU to feel 'normal' again? [ 14 Answers ]

I'm in week 6 or 7 of my breakup and I pretty much still feel like garbage. After being with someone for almost a decade- I know it's going to take some serious time before I'm myself again. So, my question to you all, how long did it take before you felt like yourself again and could hold your...

Is it normal not feel pleasure during sex? [ 12 Answers ]

Hi, my name is laura, I do not feel pleasure or pain when having sex.the first time I had sex I was in seveare pain and no pleasure, but I thought it was normal, I was scared.. the second time I felt nothing as if my vigina was numb so I quit. A year passed by with me having no sex at all intill I...

Is this normal, If it is then why do I feel so sad? [ 3 Answers ]

Is it normal for my husband to want to watch me having sex with another man? My husband wants me to do this and frankly it makes me sick and sad to know that he would not be upset to see me with another man? Also he wants sex all the time and has been looking at other women a lot? Not sure if he...

Is it normal to feel emotionally unsteady when you are il ? [ 1 Answers ]

Hi all, I am new here and I came here with just this question. After reading some Q and A's I am impressed to see a small community here, discussing things that are important and being supportive. That's really great. OK, so here is my question: I have no mental illnesses according to my doctors....


View more questions Search