[where did i go wrong]

Hello beautiful people.

Wow its been a while since I've been on here, this site was my rock when I went through a big break up nearly 2 years ago.

So my new issue...

I met a girl through a friend in early June. I got her number and we started dating. We were together off and on for the next 3 months before I finally ended it.
The relationship was a joke, and very hurtful. I'm usually really good at reading people, but I just couldnt/cant get through this girls defenses, really frustrating.

OK so the relationship we had (kinda) was just that a 'kinda relationship'. She didn't want anything serious, and I did. I wasn't exactly looking for something serious but I really liked her and wanted to see what happened.
Eventually it started getting hard to see her, she was always too busy, but she would text me almost everyday to see how I was going. This was killing me because all I wanted to do was spend time with her and she made me feel like I didn't matter. (but then sent me texts everyday) HOW CONFUSING

Eventually I said I couldn't do it anymore but we could still be friends.
So we ended it and we are still friends, but I still have strong feelings for her.
Still we text very frequently and chat on Facebook every so often. We never talk about anything too deep, mainly because she has never really opened up to me.

Generally I'm pretty quick to sum up situations like this and walk away, but the fact that she is always making contact with me I think suggests that there is something there...

So my question is
How do I find out if there is anything there?? What do I say/ask?
Is it wrong for me to stay friends with her hoping that one day we will end up together?

[Clough]

Hi, where did I go wrong!

If you're really attracted to her and there is no possibility of the two of you getting together on a serious basis, then I would suggest hanging things up and moving on to someone else.

However, that doesn't seem to be the case here.

Is there a way that you can speak to her in person and not through some sort of electronic means to let her know what you're thinking and what you would want? On the phone would be okay, in person would be the best.

She may be wanting you to make a move, and that may be in a personal way and not through some sort of electronic communication.

What do you have to lose if you just simply discuss this with her in person?

What you might say to her is that you have a challenge and that she is the person who can help you to solve the challenge, and would she be willing to help you with it? Presumably, she will say "Yes". You then go on to describe the challenge that you're having and why she is the one who can help you with it and see what she has to say.

There's no need to lay any sort of "heavy" on her or be pushy in any way. There's also really no need to be in a hurry. Just simply have a conversation with her where you open up about what you're thinking and feeling and see if she might be thinking and feeling along the same lines as you.

Hopefully, others will also be along to address your question.

I do wish you the best!

Thanks!

[talaniman]

You can be friends someday after you get over her, and get to a healthy place.

That starts with leaving her alone, and cut the contact, until you can see reality a little clearer, and can accept her friendship, without the false hope for more than that.