[yellowjacket35]

We've been "good friends" and have had a courtship over the last 4 months, he is very busy with his career, long days 12-14hrs a day, he's in school, little league coach, his kids, and very involved with church, so where do I fit? Sometimes I feel like a crumb on the plate. It was him who approached me to become friends, early on we would go to park to get know one another more personally, then it started. Little by little he would go into this busy mode non-stop, he would go a few days no calls or text, then he would surface like nothing never happened, would have very logical reasoning for everything, his interest is very clear, he shows compassion and he's caring, he acknowledges his short comings and states that it will get better soon, but when will soon come?

No one is ever that busy that they cannot make time for someone they care about, it they can make time for the kids, and parents after games, they can make time, right? Very respectful guy, smart, witty, educated, religious and awesome family man (divorcee) all the great things most women can't find all in one. What do I do? Being patient is lonely, but when he acknowledges being distant it makes up for it and then I wait for the next period when it starts again. Am I crazy?

Don't get me wrong, I have a life, stay very busy myself, I'm always on the go but I ALWAYS stop in the middle of the day to make contact because he's on my mind. :confused:

[JBeaucaire]

I think this is why people get married earlier in life, so that by the time their lives are THIS full, their mate is there doing a lot of those things with them, and is there at home every night.

He's far along in his life calendar, so his activity level being this full is actually an excellent thing.

I have to say your position is understandable. But this may just be one of those things. I doubt he's being disingenuous with you about anything... his feelings/interest for you, his life, his career, social calendar... I'm sure it's all true.

If you doubt him, and I bet you don't really, if you're tempted to doubt him that is probably just normal jealousy... you like this guy and want more of him for yourself. He sounds like he's worth being jealous over!

I am no fan of fast-tracking relationships, but you may need to in this case. He sounds like right kind of catch. If you share his worldview on family, religion, career and he's active in the community... marry this man! Then stay committed and work out the rest at his side.

Remember, people used to get married having never met each other prior to the marriage. They shared so much culturally and were dedicated to the covenant of marriage and lifebuilding, so they made it work... for a lifetime!

You're WAY past that, right? You already know this guy enough to make a qualified guess, right?

So, your choices are "go for it" or "let him be". But in either case, don't doubt him.

[jalnia]

He SEEMS like a great catch. Ask to slowly be antiquated into his hectic schedule by joining him with the things that are keeping him jumping. Take baby steps as he already has children involved and that can be a very touchy situation. Especially if the bio mother wants to create drama. Maybe ask to join him at one of his children's sporting events. Watch the game with him socialize and leave. Sorry, no public displays of affection with kids about, but you will slowly become apart of his scene. If things are as you suspect, peachy, THEN join his life already in progress. Always remember to listen 2 times, before talking once. The first time you hear something you might be thrown a perception curve ball, and reality strikes out :)