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Little_Bit · Oct 14, 2008, 07:30 PM

Ok, there is a really cute boy I like. He meets most of my standards, he's black, tall, really smart (in high level classes, like me), and extremely hot. I've heard rumors though that he has a girlfriend, but I think (and seriously praying and hoping) that he doesn't have a girlfriend. I don't really know if he's flirting with me or just being crazy, and if I do just ask him outright, how do I start the conversation.

Keep in mind, that I'm the shyest person you will ever meet, you will have to talk to me for like 2 weeks until I actually start talking, yeah that kind of shy. So my question is, what are the signs that he likes me and how do I figure out for sure that he has a girlfriend? You can ask me questions if you need more details...

Lizzy

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 14, 2008, 08:46 PM

Well I don't want to sound like I'm stero-typing but if this guy is pretty smart I'm sure he would not lie to you if you just straightup asked him if he had a GF. Also if your too shy to ask him yourself just ask a good friend of yours to ask him for you and that will help you sort out the rumors.

And you should be able to tell if he is flirting with you. There are tall tail signs that he is flirting with you if he is giving you extra smiles just for you, giving you lots of skin contact, but if he is respecting you because your shy that might not be happening, if you guys are giving each other a lot of direct eye contact and you know just usual things like he talks to you a lot and just has a general interest in you.

I would really like to know what exactly your relationship with this guy is and how often you guys come into contact.

Little_Bit · Oct 15, 2008, 01:24 PM

Yeah, I don't think he would lie to me... it's just that I'm so scared. And hopefully, my best friends will ask him for me (and she better do it the right way).

Ok extra smiles? I don't know how he smiles with others, so I don't really know
Skin contact? Like he hits me (and I mean like a play hit, it doesn't hurt) sometimes, and I start laughing because I'm nervous, so I know I look stupid.
Other than that, we talk and joke in AP English and AP History sometimes, but never like a real conversation, like about homework and stuff, because I can never start a real conversation with him, barely talk to him without stuttering.. . So I guess you can say we come in contact every other day, twice, 90 minutes each.

Any other advice?

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 15, 2008, 03:24 PM

Well you need to try to step it up! You can do it girl.

If you want something to happen you need him to notice you more. Maybe some of the other members will have some more constructive ideas for you on how to accomplish this.

Maybe asking him to eat lunch with you, where you will have more time to talk about things other than HW and class. Things like life, sports he might be intrested in, relationships or just anything! Because I won't lie to you. Nothing will happen if he does not notice you past the classmate level. Also do you think he has any physical attraction to you?

Fr_Chuck · Oct 15, 2008, 03:28 PM

You can spend the rest of your life, going, "if I had only" in the end if you like someone you have to talk to them and find out what happens.

And to be honest, if you can't tell he has a girl friend, then you are both so young that there is not really dating and hanging out since if he has one, normally they will be together at lunch or after school

Little_Bit · Oct 15, 2008, 06:17 PM

Well Fr_Chuck, supposedly he has a girlfriend at another high school, she doesn't go here, so I really wouldn't see them together. And I guess we're relatively young, we're in 11th grade in high school.. .

We don't have lunch together, so I can't ask him to eat lunch with me.. . But I understand what you're saying simpleguyjoe, I'm just going to have to go for it, hopefully nothing will come out of my mouth stupidly.

What do you mean by physical attraction, like I'm pretty or something, I mean I don't really know his taste, I mean he looks at me sometimes, so I guess, but I bet I have to ask him that too, huh?

Well personally, how do guys like girls to come up and approach them?

Thanks for all the advice so far, everybody!
Lizzy

P.S. I've never really had a boyfriend or even a guy friend, let alone actually go up and talk to a guy, and I'm 16 if that helps any.

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 15, 2008, 06:30 PM

Umm I'm usually fine with a girl coming up to me as long as she does not lay it on to thick with complements (not that its bad just annoying if you over-do it). Try to project that your confident even if inside your not. Try to catch him at a time when he is not around all his friends and looks to be in a good mood, make sure you know what your going to say to him to avoid making something come out wrong. Just things like that and also you really need to find out if he is taken.

Little_Bit · Oct 15, 2008, 06:34 PM

Yeah, he's usually around his friends a lot, and you know you can't really talk in class, maybe a joke, but not like a conversation, and he's usually in a good mood because we joke like all the time.

So tomorrow I'm going to try, I'll update maybe get his number or something. Lol, I probably won't make it that far, but I'll try all of the advice.

Any more advice,
Lizzy

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 15, 2008, 07:39 PM

You have far too little confidence in yourself. If you go into it not expecting anything that's what your going to leave with.

Most guys are not just looking to go out with models but normal people to. I'm guessing that you have a pretty good chance to win this guy over if you play your cards right.

Little_Bit · Oct 16, 2008, 04:37 PM

Well I really did try, but I don't think it was just the right time.. . We joked around, but I didn't officially talk to him. Oh well, there'll be one day when he'll be by himself.. . And just me and him.. .

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 16, 2008, 08:22 PM

Yep it's only a matter of time. You should be able to find the right time soon enough but with that in mind don't just keep putting it off saying that you will do this when the time is right as the settings might never be "perfect".

Also this will give you more time to get to know him. Did you ever find out if he has a GF?

Little_Bit · Oct 17, 2008, 04:09 AM

No, I looked on myspace, and it says he's "in a relationship" but I don't know how updated that is. I really want to know by asking him, but there was just really no time to ask him, like it would be really weird to just randomly say, Hey! Do you have a girlfriend? And then he'll be like "What. . . why?"