[Donnica]

My fiancé and I really want a child. We have really been having a hard time with this issue. It has been a year and a half and we have not been able to conceive. Ok normally the first response is it's the woman's fault... I went to the doctor and I'm fine. So next my fiancé went to the doctor and found out he has varicocele. Varicocele is a blood vesile that is spun up inside of a mans testicles and blocks blood flow. It is problem is every 1 in 4 men, but most mens aren't as bad as my fiancés so they are still able to conceive. The doctor said to wait a year and keep trying because varicocele is so common most men don't know they have it because they can have kids. We tried and now I am becoming very impatient. I know I have to be strong and respect his condition but it is getting very hard to deal with. 5 people I know are pregnant right now and I get so jealous at times because I wish it was me. I cry sometimes because I feel I will never conceive. The alternative after a year of trying is to get sugery. My fiancé is terrified of this even though the procedure takes about an hour to do and 2 days to heal. And after 3 months you should be able to conceive. It costs about 1,000 to 2,000 dollars to do. We have the money for this because he works for goodyear. The problem is he is scared to do the surgery. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

[danielnoahsmommy]

Time to think about other means of conception

[DoulaLC]

If his doctor can put him in touch with other men who have undergone the procedure that may help ease his mind about having it done.

It is done pretty quickly and he would likely be spending more time waiting in pre-op for his turn to go in than the actual procedure takes to do. They will give him a bit of meds in his IV that will be about all he remembers. Home within a few hours. It may or may not be the only issue in regard to his fertility however, so other factors should be looked at as well if they haven't been already.

If he just can't bring himself to do it, he may find at some point if it starts to cause him any discomfort he may choose to for that reason.
There are other options besides surgery as well so he could discuss it with his doctor as to whether he would feel better trying something else.

If worse came to worse... you would have the option of other fertility treatments, which in the long run will be much, much more costly and far more involved for you... adoption would be an option... and some people do make the decision of ending a relationship if the alternatives are not acceptable choices and children can not be a part of it.