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    helpmenow911's Avatar
    helpmenow911 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 8, 2008, 12:04 AM
    What happens after I file for divorce. We both live in the same house
    My husband and I and our 2 kids live in the same house. But we are so miserable. He is not willing to work out our relationship because he says I am too busy and I have to survive financially. I can't take it anymore and I am thinking of filing for divorce but I don't know what is going to happen after I file. Is he going to live in the same house? What if he gets so upset and close our checking accounts. I am not working and taking care of the kids all the time. I don't know what's ahead of me. Can someone tell me that after I file, does he have to move out? What's going to happen next?
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
    Vision Expert
    		  
    #2

    Oct 8, 2008, 12:12 AM

    Get an account in your own name first and have your money direct deposited there.

    Who's name is the house in?
    helpmenow911's Avatar
    helpmenow911 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 8, 2008, 12:27 AM

    He always deposit money from his business account to our joint checking account so I can't get money from anywhere. Also doesn't matter whose name is the house in. it's a community property.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #4

    Oct 8, 2008, 03:37 AM

    Hi, helpmenow911!

    What specifically is happening in your marriage that is causing you to think about divorcing him, please? It would help to know about that.

    Thanks!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Oct 8, 2008, 04:58 AM

    He may leave you high, and dry, so you will probably have to work, and if you can't afford to pay the mortgage, your out. You need a plan, and some serious consultations with a lawyer before you take that step.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #6

    Oct 8, 2008, 05:56 AM

    Tal has the solution, consult with an attorney. Most will offer a free consultation. Your atty will help you develop a plan to protect you.
    div2wice's Avatar
    div2wice Posts: 103, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 8, 2008, 07:23 PM
    I agree, get a checking account in your name and see about stashing some money away in there for protection.
    Get a consult with a lawyer to see how to protect yourself as the others said, you need to do what you can to make sure he doesn't mess you over.
    If the house was bought during your marriage then technically you're entitled to half. You can either move out, sell the house and split the money, or you can ask for the house in the divorce papers since you have the children.
    Whatever you do, talk to a lawyer, quietly as to avoid any conflict or further sneakiness on his part, and get a plan before you do anything. Protect yourself and the kids...
    Good luck,
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Oct 8, 2008, 07:44 PM

    Yes, he can just stop putting money in that account, or take all the money out,

    You need to consider getting a job, since it may take months or longer to get him to start paying you child support, and even then you will still need to work to pay all of the bills.

    Next in court you will fight over who gets the house, and who gets the payment on the house.

    Same with cars and so on.
    helpmenow911's Avatar
    helpmenow911 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Oct 10, 2008, 09:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    yes, he can just stop putting money in that account, or take all the money out,

    You need to consider getting a job, since it may take months or longer to get him to start paying you child support, and even then you will still need to work to pay all of the bills.

    next in court you will fight over who gets the house, and who gets the payment on the house.

    Same with cars and so on.

    I don't think that's the case. If I am not mistaken, after I file for divorce, he needs to provide the same life style as we have right now and he can not close the accounts.
    helpmenow911's Avatar
    helpmenow911 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Oct 10, 2008, 09:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    yes, he can just stop putting money in that account, or take all the money out,

    You need to consider getting a job, since it may take months or longer to get him to start paying you child support, and even then you will still need to work to pay all of the bills.

    next in court you will fight over who gets the house, and who gets the payment on the house.

    Same with cars and so on.

    I don't think I should get a job now because if it gets to court, they might give me less child support since they think I can have a job and pay for myself. Maybe after my divorce is over, I should get a job.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
    		  
    #11

    Oct 10, 2008, 09:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by helpmenow911 View Post
    I don't think that's the case. If I am not mistaken, after I file for divorce, he needs to provide the same life style as we have right now and he can not close the accounts.
    That is not necessarily true. Divorce changes circumstances. Such a standard might be held if he was very wealthy, but its not an absolute.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Oct 10, 2008, 11:09 AM

    Talk to a lawyer before he gets wind of your plans, take all the money, and has his own lawyer.

    Decision based on assumptions, will bite you in the butt later. Especially since if it goes to court, he can present his side too you know.
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