[ChihuahuaMomma]

OK, so my best friend has been dating this guy for about a month. They have not titled themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. But they are only seeing each other and spend lots of time together. So, here is the dilemma.

The other night, he said that he was going to come over at 8. She had worked all day and was tired, but decided that she was going to stay up until 8 to wait to see him, because the next time that she would be able to see him would be this Saturday. Well at 9:30 this text conversation happened:
HIm: "I'm late"
Her: "What are you doing?"
Him: "At happy hour with co-workers, someone bought shots"
Her: "oh ok".

Fast forward to 10:30pm (mind you he was supposed to be there at 8pm), she texts him with "I'm just gonna go to sleep, see ya some other time."

Now, he doesn't text back until the morning with "Good morning, sorry about last night".

NOW, this is where I come in. She wants me to tell her what she should do. What should she say to him. I honestly have no advice on the subject, I don't know what to tell her. HELP ME AMHD!

[jaime90]

Girls do this way too much these days, and I'm pretty sure that guys don't appreciate it. DO NOT stress over a missed phone call, or a missed date!

If he was busy and couldn't see her, then he was busy, and it seemed like that was fine with her, she said "oh ok." The guy probably figured that she knew he wasn't going to be able to make it, he explained to her where he was and didn't text her back.

When she texted goodnight, he wasn't going to interrupt her sleeping by texting back- she was going to sleep.

The conversation seemed perfectly fine. Tell your friend not to stress, the two of them have all the time in the world to get together, just continue with your normal friendship, and don't call him out on it, after all he said "sorry" the next morning, meaning he felt bad that he couldn't see her, but stuff comes up. So, all you can do is forgive him.

[JBeaucaire]

"I'm coming over at 8" is not the same thing as "I'll try to come by tonight, maybe by 8". Not the same thing at all. Small tiny words completely change the accountability factor. Did she actually hear his exact wording correctly? If it was anything like option 2, he wasn't being rude by doing something else instead.

Reversing the roles is the only thing that ever works in situations like this, ones of inconsideration. But it can backfire, too. He might be able to dish it out and not take it. That could be a good thing...

So, she should make some plans later this weekend, employ a semi-legitimate reason to no-show-no-call.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Girls do this way too much these days, and I'm pretty sure that guys don't apprieciate it. DO NOT stress over a missed phone call, or a missed date!

If he was busy and couldn't see her, then he was busy, and it seemed like that was fine with her, she said "oh ok." The guy probably figured that she knew he wasn't going to be able to make it, he explained to her where he was and didn't text her back.

When she texted goodnight, he wasn't going to interrupt her sleeping by texting back- she was going to sleep.

The conversation seemed perfectly fine. Tell your friend not to stress, the two of them have all the time in the world to get together, just continue with your normal friendship, and don't call him out on it, after all he said "sorry" the next morning, meaning he felt bad that he couldn't see her, but stuff comes up. So, all you can do is forgive him.

He wasn't supposed to be too busy to see her, he made a date with her and continued with other plans. She said "oh ok" sarcastically.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

"I'm coming over at 8" is not the same thing as "I'll try to come by tonight, maybe by 8". Not the same thing at all. Small tiny words completely change the accountability factor. Did she actually hear his exact wording correctly? If it was anything like option 2, he wasn't being rude by doing something else instead.

Reversing the roles is the only thing that ever works in situations like this, ones of inconsideration. But it can backfire, too. He might be able to dish it out and not take it. That could be a good thing...

So, she should make some plans later this weekend, employ a semi-legitimate reason to no-show-no-call.

Yes, they had a date.

[JBeaucaire]

Yes, they had a date.

In that case, trust has already been spat upon. Either get mad and move on, or have fun with it, a little humor goes a long way.

Make a dinner date, arrange to meet at the restaurant, call after you're already late, let him know you're tied up but will be there as soon as you can. Then go to a movie. Call him after the movie, see how long he waited.

Then confess it in good humor. Either he will see the justice in it and they'll have a laugh and start again, or they won't. Trust and respect are already spat upon, so this can only push things to a conclusion, or chuckle them back into a second try.

It's a win either way.