[lee8519]

We have lived for 2yrs together and when he gets drunk which is often (I don't drink) the last yr his sister died she was 40 of alchosim then his gma died and he started this pattern of getting verbally abusive when he was drunk and would call his parents and they would come get him he would stay at their house then call here and we would make up. Well sept 1ST he got angry (drunk) and told me I better get happy fast or he was calling his mom. So now he's gone again. This time he doesn't call mommy came over with him and cleaned out all his stuff. I saw him today he told me he needs some space and I said if you have sex with someone else that will be your ticket out. And he said he is not. He really does have good morals that is the one thing I love about him. However he is sitting at his brother in laws night after night getting plowed. Mom won't let him smoke in the house or drink he can do both there. I do love him I told him today and I said you can't say it back and he told me I was messing with his head lol. Usually when this pattern started he would call me from his moms or work on his cell. Now no calls. Does he really need space or is that just a line of crap. I am 50 so there is a 10 yr difference in our relationship. Also he has 2 kids he gets every other weekend. What do I do. I know his parents don't want him there he can't afford an apt so... help!! :confused:

[COOKIE MONSTER]

Needs space
Needs help more like
And so do you for putting up with that crap.
Your 50 and letting the guy you love treat you like crap
Come on hun you can't be putting up with that,he's no adult he's acting like a teen.
Ringing mammy every time things don't go his way,if I was you I wouldn't wait for his call id move on he's just going to keep doing this over and over again.

[[[more fool you for putting up with it this long]]]

If he comes back to have another go of messing with your head,and you want to give him another go make him get help before he moves back in.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE ON WASTERS
AND TO ME YOUR MAN SOUNDS LIKE A WASTER

Yeah harsh I know but some body has to say it

Cop on woman,get out there and have fun,don't be sat there waiting for that drunken ''sorry call'
Your worth more than that

If you stay the way you are,your going to be going round and round in circles with him playing games with you

Tell him to grow up he's 40 not 14

[COOKIE MONSTER]

Have you actually read what you written?

DOE'S THAT SOUND LIKE A HAPPY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP TO YOU?
That's far from a happy healthy relationship!
At your age [no offence hun] but you don't need that it's not going to be doing you any good,it's just causing un needed stress, heart ache and sleepless nights

If everything was great you wouldn't have come on here asking are advice
We all know nothing is perfect a lot of us have been were you are and got out and are better for it.the people we got away from some copped on and sorted themselves out and others are still in the place we left them in the pub

But this guy doesn't want to help himself and you can't help him
Until he admits he has a problem and he asks for help.
This is just putting strain on you,its causing you to worry and that's not good for your health.
Why put yourself through this over and over?

Either way if you go with your head or your heart you'll get hurt but don't you think it's better going with your head and you putting a stop to him hurting you,instead of you going with your heart and letting him hurt you.
His drinking problem is not going to go away on its own and you know that,it's more than likely going to get worse,what if he gets really drunk and get physically abusive? Mentally abusive is bad enough and NO ONE should put up with it

Were do you want to be in 10 years?

How's this sound-
You could be with this guy,him coming home every night drunk.
Spending all his and your cash on drink,never having anything nice,not going on holiday because all your cash went in the till at the pub.can't take him any were because he'll drink too much and make a scene,can't take him to wedding's or friends birthday party's ,can't go for a meal.he will make you feel an inch high when he makes a scene in public
Can you really see yourself living like that and being happy?
I cant!

You need to get rid and get on with your life,because life is to short and before you know it you will have wasted what you have left of your life on this waster

You deserve better hun and you know you do
You can do better and you know you can
It might be a big jump but you have nothing to lose,only a dead beat drunk and that's not much compared to your happyness and the rest of your life

But its up to you

Way up the pro's and con's and be honest with yourself

[liz28]

Yeah, I agree everything CookieMonster said. This guy major issues that he needs to sort out and he needs professional help. Never accept this behavior from no one and abuse is abuse regardless if the person is drunk. Put love on the back burner for now and start getting yourself together. Sadly to say, he is the mother problem now. This guy has an addiction to alcohol and he needs help but has to want help.

[talaniman]

Disappear from his life, and rebuild your own, without him. As long as your there to pick up the pieces he will never change. Protect yourself.