[anonymous13]

Last July was when I met my boyfriend at the time, now my ex. The relationship was great. I really liked him as a person and how he treated me. We broke up after the first month. He thought he was finally over with his ex. We got back together about 2 months later. Since the beginning of this summer he became extremely selfish. I tried to talk to him about it but he never listened. Throughout the course of the relationship, his ex kept interferring since she always talked about the past. It bothered me that he let her. We broke up thereafter. Two months after we broke up again, I got a new guy. My ex came to me and asked for one last chance. I actually think he changed. I just don't know what to do.

[Chorine]

Hi :) You surely have had a yo-yo relationship with this guy ! It sounds like, when your ex-bf gets you back he tends to get complacent, and then when you break up with him he turns on his best behaviour to win you back. It seems like he can't make up his mind, and somehow immature. You say he has 'changed'? How? Is it that you are referring to his changed behaviour ? We are all born with our own respective personality types, each of us responds in a certain way to the stresses in life. It is very difficult to change one's personality type, it is far easier to put on one's best behaviour for a short while. I think you should be more cautious in deciding if he has changed (at all!). You also need to look into your present relationship with this new guy. Do you think he is the right guy for you? If yes, would you like to compromise this relationship for a yo-yo relationship with your ex?

If you have felt friction with your ex-boyfriend previously, if you have found him selfish in his dealings, you need to figure out first for yourself are you two really compatible? Were you happy with him? Would you like to settle for a life where your interests come second?

:)

[talaniman]

Your setting up an interesting pattern, things go good, and then go bad, and then he comes back, and well here you go again. If you like this roller coaster ride then go back. If your tired of it and want to change, that's up to you.

Honestly, why take someone back if you are unsure he has changed, and not just telling you what you want to hear? Seems its easier, and better to have moved on to someone who is healthier, and with a lot less baggage.

[brokenhearted1515]

The reason why he is doing this to you is because you have allowed it! He knows he can tell you what you want to hear. Stay on his best behaviour until you let your guard down and then he's back at being a selfish a** again. Then you breakup. And he knows he can have you back again. By starting the cycle all over again. Once you let your foot come off the floor once... its over. Once you allow someone to treat you like that, they know that they can get away with it, without any problem. What has this new guy done? Wouldn't it be fair to give the new guy a shot? Since you have given your ex many? I say stay with the new guy, tell your ex to beat it. Hes your ex for a reason. Now I am not going to say that you will never be together ever again, but I think you should give this new guy a shot, while teaching your ex a lesson. Maybe this new guy will be the one to make you happy and you'll forget all about your ex? Maybe he won't be and your ex will realize that he can no longer take you for granted because you won't be sitting on the side lines waiting for him to "change"? Maybe you won't be with either of them and someone else will come along? I don't have all the answers. But what I do know is... YOU CANNOT DO THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND EXPECT A DIFFERENT REACTION. Best of luck. Please keep us posted.

[marleniss2006]

Never let other people hurt you, you are the only one... that can hurt yourself by making bad choices...